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Tuesday, February 27, 2007The Final Ooogle, The Final FOAD... The Day The Dog Died
It has been a long and arduous road here since November of 2005. Coming off the high that was Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita into the crashing reality that my life had gotten away from me in more ways than one... this place gave me something to help my focus. So it has been here that I sat... going through this old dog's bones... plucking off the meat and sucking out the marrow.
This may come as a huge shock to some of you, but if the truth must be told I am long overdue. There just comes a time when one has to grow, and move on or become a stagnate puddle of disease. I'm sure so many of you have felt the same way at some time or another... as virtual slaves to the blog. I need to break these chains. There is only one way I know how, and this is it.
I love you all... more than I ever thought would ever be possible had you told me about it back in 2005. This is harder than you think, but I hope you will all understand. I hope you will all know me well enough to be happy for me, as I would be happy for you if you were granted this freedom.
As a parting gift my beloved little droogies... I will be leaving you all this final Ooogle...
... which is also the last and final FOAD... to Blogger.
Take your Beta. Shine it up. Turn this whore sideways... and... well... you know what you can do with it.
Be good to one another... remember me fondly... see you when I see you*.
Mr. CFP... let the firing of the EMP Strike against Blogspot commence.
*Which will be when YOU read the shirt CAREFULLY... or just click it... bitches.
Monday, February 26, 2007Today Is All About 1993...
I am sure that for most people today will be about a myriad of things. Perhaps it is snowing where you are now, and today will be shoveling and salting and cursing the Groundhog for lying. Perhaps you will spend the day talking about last night's Academy Awards, and the upsets and surprises that it encompassed. Perhaps today, for you, is about today and the start of a new week.
For me, while it will include a few of those things, today is also about February 26, 1993... the day the WTC first got bombed. It has been 14 years since that day when I sat watching the news coverage. I was still in college, and working on a writing assignment that day... with no writers block in sight may I add. People leaving the building with blackened faces from the smoke and soot and streaming into the streets was all over the television.
One of the visuals I remember clearly from that day was the fleet of ambulances and fire trucks beneath the pedestrian passage over West Street. I remember thinking that doing that may be a good thing in my spare time just in case there was another attack. Eight and a half years later it would be that same pedestrian passgeway that I can credit with saving my life... and left me wondering why I ever wanted to do this to begin with. Funny how things change over time.
Six people were murdered that cold day in February. Six people, who most of the world will forget, were the first true victims of Al Queda on American soil. Six people... who in my mind for as long as it is mine... will never be forgotten.
Labels: Never Forget
Sunday, February 25, 2007Smorgashboard Sunday 16
Welcome to another edition of Smorgashboard Sunday... where I offer up the tastiest morsels from the week in my blogosphere. Let the linking begin...
So that has been the past week in my blogosphere. I also want to take a quick second to say thanks to everyone who wished DJ well and to assure me that I don't suck. He's alive and well... and quite literally it is as small as can be. Part of my panic is undoubtedly because of Pudding's description of it... because she was an EMT too and I would think that she actually would know what it was... but I guess those years of true heavy bleeders (the kind you need a hose to wash out the back of the ambulance with) has worn off... or its different because this is actually your own... I don't know.
As for sucking... well I think it may have been my subconscious taking root. Tomorrow's Ooogle Monday will be postponed for something that has happened every year since 1994... and a day I don't easily forget.
Saturday, February 24, 2007Puppy Monster Down
Yeah... it was bound to happen. He "fell and cracked his head open" was how Pudding described it to me last night. Of course... this happens on the day when I am down two of my Communications Specialists on the evening tour... which in effect left me to deal with 63 units by myself while taking incoming emergency calls. Anyone see a problem with this? Yeah... I do. At least my emergency call receiver stuck it out with me even though I yelled at her for doing a Mr. Freeze earlier in the day.
The problem is that it is because of instances like this that I utterly hate and despise my job. What should have happened is that I should have left work and taken my son to the hospital. What did happen is I had to stay at work until a good 6 hours after the accident and a good 3 and a half hours after my shift end time. I did ask Pudding if she wanted an ambulance to which she said no... some bullshit about the cost which I quickly reminded her that since it is one of my companies we won't be getting a bill (not that that would matter because I do have health insurance).
So she took him. Two staples in the nogin. I'll see it later today... not that today matters... because it was yesterday that counted. Hell... she got home with him before I even left work.
Then people wonder why I have little to no sympathy when they get stuck on a late job.
Then I wonder why people can't seem to love me.
I really don't wonder anymore... I know why.
Its because... yeah... I suck.
Friday, February 23, 2007It Should Be Easier
But it really isn't... blogging that is... or thinking of stuff to blog about. Well that's not really true... I suffer the same as most which is why I probably suck again this week... I get all these ideas but yet I am far away from a computer. The fact my creative side is a little divided doesn't help much either.
I also have a few other things going which are on my mind. I spoke to my lawyer today... and probably within the next month I will have filed for the big "B" word. The house... gone. I've actually spent the last few weeks kind of liquidating stuff and buying useless shit. I think the ladies call it retail therapy... but it really hasn't been too therapeutic.
I don't know. I suck. I know I do. If I can think of something better to talk about that has nothing to do with Britney's nervous breakdown or Anna Nicole's soon to be pay-per-view funeral... well I'll try to write about it. Until then... I'll just sit here and suck.
So be it.
Thursday, February 22, 2007FOAD Thursday... I'll Be Ya Huckleberry
So things are afoot in my blogosphere. I'm still trying to sort a bunch of it out... and while it momentarily causes me to reflect upon the inherent dangers of the internet... well I really couldn't give two fucks because last time I checked, broadband works both ways. I was happy to confirm that although I lack good hate mail and trolls, that I have been found (at least to one person) to be offensive. So hoo-rah for me! Anyway... let my offensiveness continue with this FOAD Thursday...
An FOAD goes out to my dear friends at none other than Dunkin' Donuts. Now that I have given up soda (or pop as so many of you kindly pointed out) I rely on my large, French Vanilla, ice coffee, light with cream, and four Splendas to wake me up in the afternoon. Tuesday... I received *GAG* Hazlenut *GAG*. I absolutely hate it. Now understand that my ice coffee comes to $2.38 cents. I usually give them $3 and let them keep the change for their tip cup... I know 62 cents is not a lot... but I expect the right syrup to get pumped, ya know? So I turned around and went back. Yes... this made me a little late for work... but I NEED my ice coffee and I absolutely cannot drink *GAG* Hazlenut *GAG*. Guess what... they wanted to charge me again. I nearly lost my mind, but calmly asked to speak to the manager. The manager agreed with the clerk that I had left the store and therefore I needed to be charged again. So I left. I will never return to that Dunkin' Donuts again... so an FOAD goes out to those asshats... and I really hope *GAG* Hazlenut *GAG* stains. Ya dig?
An FOAD goes out to my dearest friend Christine... who refuses to speak to me over the red rose incident... even after forwarding her the e-mail where I ordered YELLOW. I know in like a month we'll be back to normal... but for some reason... I'm really tired of it right now.
An FOAD goes out to whoever it was who flagged one of my YouTube videos as having "inappropriate content". In truth, it was a crappy vid, and the person who flagged it is probably the same person who was drunk in it... so wtfeva. FOAD and next time you go to a bagel party and don't invite me to butter some buns then your cut the fuck off. Maybe I can re-upload it to LiveVideo??? Yeah... just FOAD mind numbing twit.
An FOAD goes out to whoever in their right mind thought that having Stan "The Man" Lee make a guest appearance in Heroes. That was so damn disturbing, its been giving me nightmares.
An FOAD also goes out to whatever it is that is causing me the newly found arm pain. No... it isn't from rubbing a few too many out... in fact it might be carpal tunnel because it affects my wrist and shoots right up my underarm to my shoulder. So... I guess I won't be avoiding the doctor like I had hoped. Oh, and Denise... if you come to kick my ass... fly JetBlue, k? *SMOOCHES*
As for Peace and Love this week... well I have none... at least not MY form of peace and love.
I do want to tip the red hat to Shelli... who has been named Sweetheart of the Blogging World by the RFS Blog Awards. So the Family Fab has officially whooped my ass and destroyed my hopes and dreams of glory. But that's okay... and I want to thank everyone who voted for me, and my favorite blogger (she knows who she is, k?) for nominating me... and I want to thank those who voted against me too... because it is not their fault they don't really know me.
I may have lost this battle, but hey... they can't take my Time Person of the Year away from me.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007Cereal Wednesday
Arrr, today is Caral Wednesday. Aye, today we're featurin' the scourge o' the caral aisle, Cap'n Crunch, argh! Ahoy, or is he????
The answer is he isn't. In fact, Cap'n Crunch isn't a pirate at all. He would be one of the regular Navy enlisted to fight pirates. People always make the same mistake... and while it may be romantic to think of him as a pirate, in reality he actually represents a very positive cereal role model for the youth of today. Of course you won't hear them clarify that he isn't a pirate, because then no one would eat him. Heh.
Have a good one.
Labels: Cereal Wednesday
Tuesday, February 20, 2007The Results Are In...
... and no I'm not talking about the RFS Blog Awards (only one more day to vote my bitches... and I think I'm getting pummelled by that Mama Duck Quacker and the OTHER Fab... so if you haven't gone and done the right thing... wtf are you waiting for? The fucking rapture or something? Get a move on bitches!). I'm talking about when they scanned my cat with the radioactive dye inside of me.
I'm normal!!! For the first time, in my entire life, I have been determined by a scientific procedure to be considered normal!!! Woo-hoo!!! Yeah... right... who the fuck am I kidding. Let's remember that it was the radioactive stuff that made Bruce Banner into the Hulk, Peter Parker into Spider-Man, and made Sue Storm into Invisible Girl (who's brilliant idea was it to make the hot chick invisible??? Oh right, Stan "The Man" Lee... who btw was the bus driver tonight on Heroes which makes me feel really sad that he didn't get a cool power... like the power to write a better show!!!!). Right... so when radiation says your normal... your really just fucked to the hilt but it thinks your a-okay.
Of course now I get to go for more tests, both on my leg and my body in general. This is what my doctor thinks is going to happen. So when I stop answering the phone calls from the missed appointments do you think he'll get the hint?
I hate doctors and yeah, I hate hospitals. One hell of a profession I chose huh? Actually we figured we only spend around 20% of our time in the hospital. The rest of our time is usually 5% going to the call, 5% going to the hospital, 5% going to our "place at rest", 20% onscene time, 10% getting chased by "bosses", and another 35% anywhere other than where we should be... like Dunkin' Donuts or Taco Hell. Yo quiero!
So yeah... I'm going to hell in a handbasket. On a positive note... I have ceased drinking soda. Totally. Like cold turkey. I've been kicking it with the water and only two ice coffees a day. Considering I used to consume around 3-4 liters a day of soda, or pop as it is called in some places where my words are read to the throngs of gerbils, that's pretty outstanding.
Of course it also means I've been falling asleep in the recliner more often. No caffeine to kick me awake... and that's been wreaking havoc on my back. My back has really never been the same since Texas... and it sadly has nothing to do with the rescue operations down there... it was from riding the mechanical bull... all 1.2 seconds. Yeah. Only 6.8 seconds to go. Yeah.
There's other stuff I could randomly write about... but I know your bored. I suck today. I REALLY sucked yesterday because I totally blew Mistress Yoda's Birthday... so I have to make it up tomorrow... and ya'll know what tomorrow is dontcha??? It's cereal time... and argh, wha a jolly ole time she'll be...
Monday, February 19, 2007Ooogle Monday
Seeing as how we are starting a fresh week, it is once again time for your weekly ocular exercise known as Ooogle Monday. This week is officially Oscars Week in Los Angeles, so we will once again have an Academy inspired Ooogle...
The beautiful Penelope Cruz is up for Best Actress for her work in Volver. Personally... I'm still all about her in Blow.
The former King of the July 4th Box Office, The Fresh Prince himself, Will Smith is up for Best Actor after an outstanding (and aging) performance in The Pursuit of Happyness. It's always nice to see one of the old school rappers make good. Now if only the Academy would recognize Ice Cube for all of his work, then I can consider myself officially old.
Fantasy Tangent: Since they haven't, I just wish Ice would release Fuck The Academy already and let's dig up Eazy-E's muthafuckin' bones and do an NWA reunion tour already. Hell, I'd even PAY for that show. Yeah... I smoka da crack pipe...
Have a good week!
Labels: Ooogle Monday
Sunday, February 18, 2007Smorgashboard Sunday 15... The 500th Post Edition
Today is a very special edition of Smorgashboard Sunday. It is special not so much for the wonderful content highlight's I've had this past week, but more because once I subtract a few unpublished drafts and T's little day here at the APODB, this become's the 500th post. Pretty cool huh? We'll lament on it further down in the post, for now on to the past week (and nauseating lovey dovey stuff) in my blogosphere...
I don't know where the number 500 fits in with the blogging world. It sounds like a lot of posts. There are times when I can be pretty damn wordy, and other times when I'm really not. If we assume that I averaged 250 words a post (which is about 5 paragraphs worth), then I have posted 125,000 words to this blog. That translates to a roughly 400 page paperback novel. Yeah... I basically wrote a book here. Of course, the whole reason I started this was to get past the writer's block I was having, but that has been highlighted in my previous post.
One of the things I never realized was what exactly I would find during the time I wrote those 500 posts. There are a lot of great people out here on the Internet. There are also a bunch of idiots. Now I know it may not be PC to call them that, I mean they are entitled to their own opinions and all that. I also know there are times when I spew what seems to be "hater" speech... when in reality it is more of a "rager" mentality... but in the end this is still a personal blog about me. It is also very good cheap therapy.
I also like reading what other people have to say and the variety of lives that are lead. I like the rawness of it, and the honesty to it all. I never really read personal blogs before writing here... but to be honest, before writing here, there were a few blogs I did visit... you know, the "professional" blogs. Like Gothamist.
I've been reading Gothamist for awhile. I like the style on most of their articles, and I also like the way they have branched out into other cities while keeping the same sort of feel as the original. While the majority of Gothamist is derived from the dailies, they also do have original content. In fact, to be honest, their daily recap called Extra, Extra was the inspiration for Smorgashboard Sunday. One of the things I like is they highlight a picture of New York from amongst a wide variety of city Flickr images.
So imagine my surprise when on the eve of my 500th post, the Extra, Extra at Gothamist showed this...Yes, that is a picture of the Empire State Building with a plane hand drawn and appearing to crash into it.
Fucking bastards who dare to call themselves New Yorkers.
So for the 500th post here at the APODB... we would like to send Gothamist a resounding Fuck Off And Die. I know it isn't FOAD Thursday... but ranting and raving about the stupidity out there on the Internet is somewhat a staple here as much as the drama in my life and the cereal I talk about. Their level of "professionalism" in my opinion has plummeted to the lowest there is.
Saturday, February 17, 2007Something In The Way...
It was a quiet night last night. Lots of licks, but no bites of damaged humans to mend or cab rides without the meter. So while KC and I cruised through the chalky white wind whipped streets, our conversations ranged from the Rage Against The Machine Reunion to the further development of RSS Feeds and what they mean to content over format. This last bit was along the lines of the thinking I had been doing about reverse engineering, which is another post all its own which maybe one day will come about once I gather everything I can find on the subject.
Eventually, it led me to thinking about the things in my way... the bricks in the wall so to speak... that are preventing me from finishing off my project and getting it to a few friends to shop around in the market. The bricks, in my mind at least, once were many. Now they are fewer, but the wall seems no lower. It stops me from reaching the level that I need to reach.
This of course reminded me of one of the last episodes of Dead Like Me, which if you have never seen is really a wonderful series even though it only ran two seasons. The episode's first reap was a girl in a military academy who had to scale a wall. Once she scales the wall, well of course she dies by falling off of it and getting entangled in the ropes.
I think in a way that is what continues to irk me. Once I scale the wall, I'll fall off of it. While it doesn't mean I would physically be dead... emotionally I would be. That is why I often refer to it as my "passion" project... because emotionally, I still am VERY passionate about... well I'm just very passionate.
Okay... now that I have made totally no sense to anyone but myself... I'm going to bed now. When I wake up I'll be trying to catch up on my blog reading and commenting and other stuff. The recent rash of long hours has caught up to me... and even though I know there is something in the way... I won't get past it in this state of mind.
Friday, February 16, 2007I Suck
I am a horrible, horrible, horrible, blogger. Another late night last night, add on the fact I sent yet ANOTHER dispatcher to the hospital which then caused the need for me to be at work mad early... not that it helped because I still hit a critical backlog by 1400. Gibberish sounding? Yeah... well... the pint is I suck... because I went to bed, woke up, and damn near almost let Friday slip away. I've been going daily since I think before November... so why break the chain now?
Anyway... here's a little preview of what I think will be my new favorite love story...
... and YES... it is a LOVE STORY!
I hope I don't cry into the popcorn.
Thursday, February 15, 2007Out Of Sync
So I am terribly out of sync today. There will be no FOADing and it has nothing to do with working long ass hours yesterday, getting home late, sitting down with that empty feeling, and then promptly falling unconscious in the recliner once again.
No, it is because 6 years ago today, I officially was bestowed with the title of dad. Yep, DJ turns the big Zero Six today... of course he's going on 25, but who's checking. So tonight I get to go have cake with him and the Wolves and Pudding of course. So I shall not be spewing any venom on my son's birthday. Want venom? Check the FOADT site and pick someone from "The List".
UPDATE on Papi Chulo Bear:
So apparently Papi Chulo Bear was delivered ON TIME. Amazing. However... there is a small problem with the whole thing. Papi Chulo is a VERMONT Teddy Bear... NOT a NEW JERSEY Teddy Bear... ya know?
Oh... and yeah... Christine isn't talking to me because yeah... her roses were red too. *SIGH*
Two tears in the bucket... fuckit.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007Cereal Wednesday... And V-Day Bear Watch '07
Today here at the APODB it is traditionally Cereal Wednesday. Now I know that the United States at large is currently celebrating the lovey-dovey Valentine's Day holiday. I do recognize the importance of this holiday for couples, and have therefore done a somewhat special Cereal Wednesday in honor of this auspice occasion... but that's not the only thing special about this edition as you'll soon see...
So there you have it! Yeah... that was a pretty special edition now wasn't it?
So a Happy Valentine's Day to everyone... and another big ass thank you to Miss Ann for the awesome big ass bowls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UPDATE on Papi Chulo Bear:
That is the latest update as of 2:26am. So according to UPS the bear is on time. Funny part is... I don't see anything about Vermont in there. What's up with that?
Now amazingly enough... according to 1-800-Flowers, the roses to both Christine and The Steff have been delivered already. Unfortunately... they are a bunch of fuck-ups.
I sent both of them yellow roses. You know... yellow meaning friendship. So tonight, apparently The Donkey was up in arms because red roses showed up. Add in the fact that my signature for The Steff is a relatively unique and ambiguous one, although I've been using it for a few years with her, well I guess there was a shit storm. I did explain it to him... and even went so far as sending him a copy of the confirmation order form when I ordered her roses. He really should be over it.
However, now the problem I have is with Christine's order. If red roses show up at her house... I tend to think that Louis will be relatively perturbed and I see it going one of two ways. Either a) He'll rant, rave, and do something stupid which will end up with me in jail or b) He'll rant, rave, and she'll be pissed off because she'll think I did it on purpose... which okay, in past years I have but I SWEAR not this year... and she'll stop talking to me again.
Don't you just love these holidays?
Tuesday, February 13, 2007TAGGED!!! By Denise
I guess my post this morning didn't satisfy Denise's needs. She can be so demanding sometimes... but I still :pink puffy heart: her, so...
The game: Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs!So here it is...
1) My favorite colors are red and black. I do however maintain that orange is the new pink.
2) Red and black happens to be the paint color for the Battletech Mercenary Company known as Wolf's Dragoons, who are descendants of Clan Wolf, who happens to also be the parent to the faction I used to play in MechWarrior known as the Steel Wolves.
3) I'm really not a big cereal eater. I just play one on YouTube.
4) My truck is an antique... it's a '99 Ford Explorer Sport which makes it from last century. The rumbling sound isn't from a hole in the muffler... that's because I had it OCCed... so there.
5) When I worked in the church I used to eat the unblessed hosts with peanut butter and jelly.
6) During the first two years of high school I wore vests like Parker Lewis. That ended when the show started airing and people though I was imitating the show. During my last two years I turned to hats, and haven't seen my hair since.
7) When I go to the movies I get a packet of Twizzlers and Hot Nacho Cheese. Yeah... I eat dangerously.
8) I have a night light. It's a lighthouse that glows. STFU.
9) I bought a black flight jacket back in 1991... and I still wear it today.
10) While Love Actually is my favorite movie of all time, my favorite love story is Hellboy. Which btw will be challenged for its place in my heart by Ghostrider this weekend.
Now I'm supposed to pass this on and tag people... but I don't do that because I think if you want to do it, then you should do it and I'm not one for forcing stuff down people's gullets. Of course... if you do it... let me know so I can see the weird stuff about you.
I know, I'm off schedule today. I got home last night. sat in the recliner, and promptly fell asleep under the orange APODB afghan while Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip was on. I completely missed Heroes. I woke up about 2:00am and went the six feet to bed. I was just shot both emotionally and physically... and no I don't mean I have a bullet lodged in my body somewhere... I was/am just exhausted.
I'd like to chalk it up to a low swing on the thyroid, but I doubt it. It feels more like the depression creeping back in. Add in the fact I woke up this morning drenched in sweat with pillows and blankets all over, a sign the PTSD is acting up, and I think this next Presidential Race is going to be a bitch. All I ever seem to read in the news is different stories of how we're all coming down with diseases and dying. They probably had another one of those stories on last night while I was sleeping, so maybe I absorbed it sub-consciously.
I'd feel alot better if someone other than Clinton was making the Health Registry their priority, because I really don't see her winning. It isn't because she's a woman, but rather she's a woman who allowed her husband to get a blowjob in the Oval Office and did nothing about it. To me that shows weakness on her part. She should have made him sleep across the street or something for a few weeks at least. At least with Rudy, I know he sucked up some of the same shit I did, so we're in the same boat.
Of course tomorrow isn't helping matters. In fact I've already felt two or three waves of nausea over the sappiness I've seen some people exhibit. I like the day after the best though... all the candy goes on sale for like 50% off. Then the seasonal aisle in the drug store will change over to Easter stuff. Lots of bunnies, chicks, but most important are the Peeps. I may very well be a choco-addict, but the Peeps are great. I love their squishyness and bounciness. As either a treat or a projectile of rage, Peeps rule at work.
I'm sorry I don't have anything more substantial to say this morning. I'm just shot. Maybe if I think of something sphere-shattering I'll post it later. Maybe I won't. It's just one of those days...
UPDATE on Papi Chulo Bear: Billing information has been sent to UPS. Check site later for updated shipment status or contact shipper for more details.
Yep, no change in status as of 10:26am this morning. This leads me to believe one of two things since the storm is expected to hit the East Coast sometime this afternoon, 1) Papi Chulo ain't gonna make it on time which is more evidence that UPS sucks or 2) Papi Chulo is already on his way onboard a super secret experimental plane that cannot be tracked by radar. While I would like to say, "Aye Papi, a patriotic bear he is!" in truth I think I'll be saying, "UPS sucks."
Yeah... I may be the next Nostradamus.
Monday, February 12, 2007Ooogle Monday And V-Day Bear Watch '07...
Another Monday is upon us... its time to rise and shine my fellow bloggers... and its time to get your little tickers pumping with excitement over Ooogle Monday!!!! Since the rest of The Academy Nominees kinda, well, suck... here's an actress and an actor from the movie Children of Men that has received technical nods.
On to the Ooogle...
Not only does he save the Britons from the Saxons with Keira Knightley at his side... Clive Owens is saving the entire human race in Children of Men. So... who needs some savin'???
Of course in the movie he has the lovely and beautiful (and redheaded) Julianna Moore. Recently she's been in some not too popular flicks, but she is one helluva an actress in my mind.
Of course, since I mentioned Keira, I had to show her... you know... for me...Not my most favorite look... but hey... it's Monday... so it works.
Finally... today is Christina Ricci's birthday... and she surely is super in my book!She's now 27. Oh how time flies when your smitten with Casper's best friend.
Have a good week!
UPDATE on Papi Chulo Bear: Billing information has been sent to UPS. Check site later for updated shipment status or contact shipper for more details.
Now keep in mind... there is apparently a storm system over California that they expect to bring snow on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. It is considered the first "real" storm with potential for city snowfall. Will Papi Chulo Bear make it through Kentucky in time for Wednesday? Will there be another weather delay? Let's see what happens...
Sunday, February 11, 2007Smorgashboard Sunday Edition 14
Did you see me glow? I'm still filled with gamma radiation from my little scan yesterday morning. Even though it was quite an obnoxious experience I know your all dying to hear about, today is Smorgashboard Sunday and it is time to offer you the best morsels of the past week in my blogosphere...
Oh, and the bear at the top... he's begun his journey to The Steff. I love tracking packages sent via 'net... hopefully he won't get delayed in Louisville or take the long way like last time.
Saturday, February 10, 2007Why I Get Up In The Morning
I'm feeling alot better this morning as compared to yesterday... but that really just means I'm feeling blah instead of aaarrrrgggghhhh. I'm actually swallowing the nuke pill this morning because I moved my appointment since my shifts got all screwy... so maybe I won't be feeling blah for much longer.
So how did I spend my night you might be wondering? Well working of course... but this being Friday night/Saturday morning, I actually worked on a truck. My normal partner KC was out sick... so I ended up working with The Steff and The Donkey. She drove, and I made him sit in the back... for a few reasons but mostly because, shit, I didn't want to spend the night in the back with nothing to see.
I love driving around and seeing stuff. I'm such a people watcher. I find it WAY too interesting... but that's a different story. This story is about Bobby. A little background though... now while most people think a motor vehicle accident is a motor vehicle accident, we have classifications. There's the MVA property only (no need for us), the MVA with injuries (most likely All-State-Itis but occasionally a truely hurt person), the MVA roll over (where your wheels are most likely not on the asphalt where they belong), the MVA with entrapment (doors don't open and the occupants are trapped in the vehicle... likelihood of injury is high), and finally the MVA pin job (where part of your car has been physically pushed against you and effectively "pinning" you in the car).
So at around 2:00am the pin job came over on the Long Island Expressway. I was looking for blood... and here was my chance. The Steff weaved us to where the job was supposed to be in under 2 minutes. There was a Sanitation truck right where the accident was supposed to be. We got out and while looking at the front end of a car wedged underneath the truck, the driver told us that the accident was actually behind us. Of course, we were about half a mile ahead so we had to flip around. While doing so, we came neck to neck with one of the other units. The fucking race was on... and they were sucking her diesel fumes. I was proud. Really, I was.
When we pulled up, there were two cars into the middle divider. One had a smashed front end... and one was missing its front end. Bingo. Fire Suppression had already dropped a flare pattern, so The Steff tossed us into the safe zone ahead of the accident and we walked back. The first car we came to, the one with the front end, was unoccupied. The second car we came to, the one without the front end, was also unoccupied... but there was an elderly man standing next to it.
This was Bobby. He was the driver who miraculously was not pinned in the vehicle. 911 calls rarely come over right anyway... so this wasn't too surprising. After a brief conversation about aches, pains, and complaints (I won't bore you with the dialogue) it was agreed upon that he would go to the hospital. We immobilized him, rapid takedown style, and got him over to the ambulance. He had a minor cut on his hand which I bandaged, we vitalized him, and proceeded to go through the assessment.
I'm not going to bore you with all the details... but here's the bottom line... he was driving home from work when he got rear-ended and pushed into the truck. Most likely by a drunk driver or a street racer. He had very little wrong with him historically, a little high blood pressure and some diabetes that was diet controlled.
Here's where I found him HIGHLY interesting. He works for a tabloid newspaper here in the City. Most of you have probably heard of it, it is a Daily and it spreads the News. He has worked there for... 43 (forty-three) years. Yes. Forty-Three years. I asked him if he loved what he did... since I found it astonishing that he would work for them for that long. His reply, "I love the people who benefit from what I do. That's enough." I was pretty wowed by that statement. Normally someone either loves their job or considers it the method of putting food on the table. Never do they say they do it because they love someone else.
He really was an interesting guy. We had more conversation... he's a Yankee fan, has a son who lives in Westchester, has a wife of over 35 years, and likes to go fishing. His attitude, considering he was wrapped in a collar and strapped to a hard ass plastic board, was really pretty great all things considered... but it was that statement that made me really think.
In truth there are a lot of people who benefit from what I do. Those are the people that matter. Not the people who see fit to criticize how I do it. Its true... I'm pretty unorthodox in my methods and with each day more people consider me to be outdated and perhaps antiquated... but that's okay. The job needs to get done or people suffer. I get the job done. I make it happen.
No one can tell me otherwise and have it be true.
Tomorrow... a special Smorgashboard Sunday... it'll be a glow in the dark edition as I radiate gamma rays all Hulk style and shit.
Friday, February 09, 2007The Definition of Ambient Stupidity
Apparently there is confusion regarding my choice of words for my previous revelation. I will now explain it a little bit further.
Main Entry: ambient
1 : an encompassing atmosphere
Main Entry: stupid
: a stupid person
Normally I use the term ambient stupidity to describe someone who has been encompassed from all sound reasoning by their stupidity. In the case of being ambiently stupid I am all encompassed in my own stupidity.
All I will say further on the matter for now is thankfully I get to work a truck tonight. I need to rock some traumas, maybe get into the middle of a good stabbing, and get this tension out of the system.
No place has ever given me what I need except death, pain, and misery... but thankfully that's what I thrive on.
I am an ambiently stupid person.
That is all.
I'll be honest... I'm fighting to stay awake until my normal 3:00am bedtime so that I can get back on schedule. The changed shifts this past week has thrown my body out of sync. I felt blah before... but now I'm blah and cold. Yeah... the weather is catching up to me.
I never used to have this issue. In fact, most winters I would work in short sleeves throughout with maybe a sweatshirt for the zero degree nights. This winter... well I've been wearing sweatshirts since December even though it wasn't so cold on the nights I worked. It must be a sign of aging. Oh well.
So as I mentioned previously I got nominated for the Really Fucking Stupid Blog Awards (RFS). A quick look over at the site tells me I'm gonna get railed by the Fab family again... unless you my most beloved harem go and save me from the humiliation. In fact, while your there... vote like this...
1) Satan for Most Romantic Male Blogger
2) Beauty and the Beer for Most Romantic Female Blogger
3) Miss Ann Thrope for the Blogger Who Swears More Than Seven Times
4) Pointless Drivel for the Blogger Most Likely To Blog On The Toilet
5) Pile of Dog Bones for Sweetheart of the Blogging World (that's me!)
6) Stupid Human Tricks for the Blogger Most Likely To Quit in 185 Days
7) IT2M for the Happiest Place On Earth (really... it is)
8) Avitable for the Blogger Most Likely To Get A Handshake For Valentine's Day
9) Fuck 101. 'Nuff Said.
10) Miss Britt for Blogger of the Month
Yeah... vote like that... you can even copy and paste it if you want. I live to serve. For the record though, Avitable will get more than a handshake from his cell mate when he's arrested for stalking Britt, Satan wines and dines Beer all the time, I don't count Mr. CFP as still blogging because a post a week does not a blogger make, Mr. Fab does more than just blog on the toilet and Fuck 101 knows this firsthand, and finally... I curse WAY more than Miss Ann does... and she knows it too. She knows other stuff too but as usual... she's torturing me 'cause she's jealous that I can craft the word fuck into a grammatically correct 15 word sentence 8 times.
It's tough being me. Really.
So for those of you with no clue about the social events calendar in the place they call the real world, next week is *GAG* Valentine's Day. I hate Valentine's Day. I just do. Oh sure, its going to be a usual Valentine's Day for me... Pudding and Blinky get the Godiva, Christine will get her dozen yellow roses, The Steff will get her Vermont Teddy Bear and probably yellow roses too since I really feel the need to piss Donkey off and I didn't get a picture of us while I was wearing my "I Taught Your Girlfriend That Thing You Like" sweatshirt to give to him. It's a standard Valentine's Day with one small minor exception. It is also Wednesday... which means it will be Cereal Wednesday.
Now I already know the cereal I'm doing since I recreated the list... but I want to do something with a pop to celebrate the day. Should we get a guest for it? If so... then who? Should we call Miss Ann so she can ask me off cereal questions again? Maybe we should take it on the road? It's something I've been thinking about... but then I got to thinking about reverse engineering and stuff and now... well... I'm looking for opinions and ideas. So if you have one... now's the time to share it.
I live to serve.
Thursday, February 08, 2007It's Thursday And I Got Four Words For Ya...
So today is once again Thursday. It is that lovely day where I take all the things that have pissed me off, gotten on my nerves, crawled under my skin, and screeched the chalkboard with their fingernails... and I tell them, "Hey, I got four words for ya... Fuck Off And Die!" While it may seem juvenile to some... it's a helluva lot cheaper (and safer for me) than therapy.
However before we go onto the tirade... and understand that's exactly what this is especially since I am not working my usual shift but am on an overnight... I need to point out that I have been nominated for an award. Yes, that's right, little old me has been nominated over at the RFS Blog Awards. Now my loyal harem will remember when I first tried to get myself written in over there on their last round for Porn King '06. Afterall... I do give ya'll Ooogle Monday every Monday... but I lost to the Lemur Pimp Mr. Fab. To be honest, I was more miffed over the fact that they wouldn't count my write-in campaign than the actual loss. Add to the fact that awards mean... well... jack shit to me... it really wasn't a big deal. So imagine my surprise when I received the comment that I had been nominated this round!
It turns out that my most beloved blogger thought I would conquer all in the category of... yeah, I almost choked to be honest... Sweetheart of the Blogging World. Yeah... I kid you not. At first I really thought that there had been some heavy duty gourmet oregano usage on her part... but after awhile I can kinda dig it. I mean, c'mon, how many Sweethearts do you know that every Thursday have four words for ya? Right... very few. Now I'll be honest here... my competition is very, very tough. I'm up against another Fab, a Kept Woman, the Organizer Herself, and of course they had to throw in the ONLY other blogger who probably has Four Words for Y'All... and not just on Thursdays. Yeah. I'm definitely the underdog. I'll talk more about this tomorrow with my picks for the other categories, unless I have something else important to say, but I just want it out there that yeah, I got nominated... so keep me in mind.
Now on to be therapized...
To my dear animal rights activists who protested Groundhog's Day... FOAD. Those Groundhogs have THE LIFE! They really do. So for you to protest their "captivity" for "entertainment" purposes, well you really need to get laid and loosen the fuck up. I love me Groundhog's Day and they don't need saving. Why don't you go save the Turkey from Thanksgiving. If any American animal holiday icon needs your help, it's that one.
To the dear little snob bitch at the mall the other day... I will admit my appearance may not be as upscale as some of your other clientèle, seeing as how I actually WORK for a living. I will admit that maybe leaning on the glass counter was not proper etiquette. However, for you to come out of your face and tell me that the watches in that case were "probably" out of my price range was totally un-mother-fucking-called for. Which is exactly why after you pissed me off, I bought two from the other associate working the counter with you. In cash. FOAD dumb stereotyping bitch.
To idiots armed with Nextels... FOAD. It is really simple... I put out a schedule every Friday for the following week. Generally, if I am on the schedule for a 7:00am shift, why would you chirp me at midnight? For those of you who don't use Nextel, if you just press the button and release it without talking it "chirps" the other person so they know you are calling. I hate that. I hate that with a passion. So when you chirp me at midnight, and I'm due in at 7, which means I'm up at 5, is it really wise to then PISS ME OFF MORE by asking me the stupidest question that was already told to you 50 gazillion times? The answer is no. Hence why I am now working your tour... and your not. I hope you like that dip in the paycheck idiot.
Quick shot FOADs to YouTube for not allowing me more than 10 minutes to spew about cereal, BlogExplosion for still not allowing me to do BOTB even though my trouble ticket is 3 weeks old, and to Vermont Teddy Bear who does not allow for scheduled delivery but instead you need to time your order to coincide with the holiday. They are all plotting against me... and no... I'm not paranoid.
Finally, it is time to show some Peace and Love to a brood of nitwits that reside here in the blogosphere. It started this past weekend over at the blogosphere's official Hotbed of Controversy. So there's a new "review site" out there for blogs... called So Many Blogs, So Little Time... and yes I am linking them because I know you're all lazy. It turns out that they basically are another rag-tag group of phonies who copied IT2M in everything from the cartoon avatars, to calling themselves bitches, to literally the IT2M TOS verbatim. Real fucking original. I hate that to begin with, because I find it to be the absolute WORST offense committable by a blogger, which is something I hold over from the writer in me, but whatever. That's not why they are being shown Peace and Love.
So you know... Monday was slow for me... and for whatever reason the rest of the sphere was eerily quiet... so I left a comment. They deleted it. I left another one. Then they deleted the post I left it on. Then they made another post, referencing my comment they had deleted. So I left another comment. They deleted that one too. So I did it again. Finally they came back and tried to get all snarky and bitchy with me. The thing is... it felt mad familiar... and mad old. So I tend to think they researched people who have snarked or bitched at me and probably copied it. So now... what do I hate more than Frosted Flakes? Yep... comment and post deleters. So to the wanna be blog review tyrant whores with the un-original ideas and concepts... Peace and Love...
... and that's Doggy Style baby!!!
Wednesday, February 07, 2007Cereal Wednesday
So it is once again Wednesday... which means it is yet time for another edition of Cereal Wednesday. This edition was especially nightmareful for a few reasons I'll talk abou after the video...
So besides the fact that Grape Nuts caused me some intestinal distress, tasted like crap, and made me gain about 30 pounds from three spoonfuls... the original video I did was 11 minutes and 15 seconds long. Stupid me... YouTube has a 10 minute limit on videos uploaded. So after a failed upload... I needed to re-cut it and re-render it for YouTube acceptance. I could have gone to LiveVideo who would have taken it... but I'm still messing around with how the videos come out on LiveVideo. So I ended up cutting some vogue shots, cutting down the opening, cutting down the ending, but the meat of Cereal Wednesday remained.
So now I need to be up in 3 hours after this debacle... because I actually filmed it Saturday and had it cut Sunday because I knew I had to go to work mad early this morning... but you have Cereal Wednesday. It's all for you. I live to serve. I live to get constipated for 3 days. Really.
Maybe that's why I'm feeling so blah?
Tuesday, February 06, 2007Blah
So I've been feeling kinda crappy lately. Most of the time I'm feeling rundown... and other times I'm hyper as all shit bouncing off the walls. I have a doctor's appointment Thursday morning. I have to swallow a nuclear pill and get my cat scanned.
Alright, so it isn't really my cat, and that's a line we use on CVA patients to explain what's going to happen to them, but its pretty damn close. So I've come to the conclusion my body is breaking down day by day. I know what I need to do about it. Quit smoking. Lose weight. Do more than Ooogle Monday for my exercise routine. Stop being so blah.
On top of the blah, the world is decorated with red hearts. I fucking hate this holiday. I hate it with a passion. Yeah. I suck tonight. If I get inspired maybe I'll post something in the morning.
Monday, February 05, 2007Ooogle Monday
So today is the beginning of the blogging week... and it is time to get our weekly heart thumping exercise of a good Ooogle to keep the ticker motivated...The former American Idol and current Supporting Actress Nominee for The Oscars, Jennifer Hudson... while the robe may cover up what we normally Ooogle, there are times when the imagination can work true wonders.So Mark Wahlberg received a nomination for Best Supporting Actor on his role in The Departed... but that to me still does not wipe away the blemish of Planet of the Apes.
So that my dear friends is Ooogle Monday... Ooogle hard and have a good week!
Labels: Ooogle Monday
Sunday, February 04, 2007Smorgasboard Sunday The Thirteenth
Welcome to another edition of Smorgashboard Sunday where I give you a random smattering of the past week in my blogosphere. Hopefully this will hold you over until the chips, dip, and crackers hit the TV trays when the Superbowl begins tonight.
And that my dear friends has been the week in my blogosphere.
Wanna know who I'm picking for the Superbowl? Well that should be obvious... The Bears. Now, that may change when I actually find out who they are playing. Really... I'm all about the commercials and have zero interest in an hour long game that takes 4 hours to play. So yeah... oh and the food... I'm all about wings too. Yeah... I have my priorities straight... I LOVE me some wings. Well, have a good Superbowl...
Saturday, February 03, 2007So It's Saturday...
... and last night was a full on moon. I am tired as all hell. So here's a video I did over at Live Video where I joined up... and the reason is explained there...
Now one final question... since this is Super Bowl Sunday... what do you think?
Will GoDaddy.com continue as the King of Superbowl Ads or will Budweiser finally pull their heads out of their asses and take back the crown???
While I want to say GoDaddy.com... I'm rooting for Budweiser for no other reason than the whole Bud Bowl Legacy.
Friday, February 02, 2007It's Groundhog's Day!!!!!!!!
After a whole year... it's here!!! Finally!!! I LOVE this holiday. Last year I had more of an overview of the day... but I won't repeat myself here. I do however want to put out there my reasons as to why Groundhog's Day is my FAVORITE holiday...
Oh... and I so do not want a shadow... with the warm year thus far... the sooner Hurricane Season comes... the better my chances are for a Category 5.
UPDATE: There was NO shadow today!!! Early spring!!! But Blogger still sucks ass b/c it took me 6 hours to log in to do this update.
Thursday, February 01, 2007FOAD Thursday... Dunkin Donuts Take Heed!!!!
Do you know what day it is? It's Thursday baby! It's time to Fuck Off And Die!
/Axl Rose Impersonation
Rapid fire FOADS:
I take this a step further... there are three other DD I frequent... two happen to be in East New York. Now in the one other in Queens (New Guy's is also in Queens) the price difference was only fifteen cents on the really big one. Both Large and Medium had a ten cent difference, but the small had an eight cent difference. In East New York... the small had a fifteen cent difference, the Medium and Large a twenty-one cent difference, and at one DD the XL had a twenty-five cent difference while the other a whopping thirty-cent difference.
What the fuck is the deal with that? Really now... if you want to talk about racism well here it is. Not just because the price difference in the poorer neighborhoods was greater, but because they have placed this price difference on the WHITE hot chocolate. Are they trying to make them pay for the "privilege" of drinking the WHITE one??? What a crock of shit!!! I did ask one of the managers, and all they could tell me was that the price difference was set by the store based on what the corporation charged them. So a DD in a poorer neighborhood gets charged more money for the product so they pass that on to the poorer people??? Oh HELL-FUCKING-OH!!!
What is wrong with Corporate America today I ask you? The problem is that those in charge have NO clue what is going on out there in their businesses. We all know that the White Hot Chocolate is just a different syrup... in fact it should be cheaper because there is no need for food coloring to be added... but no. If its white... it must be "exotic" and therefore more expensive. So to Corporate DD of America... Peace and Love bitches...
... now take your hot chocolate, turn it sideways, and shove it straight up your candy ass!!!