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Sunday, July 30, 2006Ooogle Monday
It is once again Ooogle Monday time here at APODB. This week's theme will be the most recent Ozzfest 2006 lineup. So first for the ladies of my harem I provide you with David Draiman, the lead singer of Disturbed:
He's not just any lead singer... he's also all about Peace...
For all of us red blooded men out here in the wilds of the jungle... I provide you with a view of Christina Scabbia from Lacuna Coil:
She's not just a hot rocking piece of tail either... she's all about Love...
So there's your Monday Ooogle. Have a great week!
So yesterday was Ozzfest 2006. Overall it was a really good show. What never ceases to amaze me is the curse these festicals have with headliners. Kinda like Lollapalooza, the headlining band System Of A Down weren't the most sought after. System was... eh... okay. I've seen them before and they were a lot better than they were yesterday. Maybe it's the whole "hiatus" thing... but they seem to be moving in a backward direction.
Disturbed was the band that TOTALLY rocked the show. They had the entire place screaming their heads off even after 10 hours in 95+ degree heat. I've also seen them live once before... and they were better this time around... so that shows that the band is progressing in the right direction.
One of the things I LOVE about festivals like this is that I get to hear new bands. The great find of this Ozzfest for me was Lacuna Coil. They're apparently from Italy and have a very Evanescence like sound. They're a band who's album I'll definately be picking up... and Christina Scabbia who does vocals is a definite hotty.
Friday, July 28, 2006Short and Sweet... Just How I Like My Women
Tomorrow Blogathon 2006 is happening. Across the blogosphere bloggers will be posting every 30 minutes for 24 hours straight. Unfortunately I am unable to participate because I have a previous engagement.
However I would like to point you in the directions of the following blogs that I sponsored. All the proceeds go to the charities that these blogs selected as their benefactor:
So it is once again Friday. It's that time yet once again to pay homage to my tenant Useless Men. I appreciate him staying here this week, because seeing just how Useless he is makes me feel better about myself. Joke... that's a joke. Har-har. Seriously, if you want a good chuckle, go see the Useless Men. They're really not all the Useless because they sure can make you laugh!
So now for the weekly Drama update. Let's start with The Nick. Well she owed me something. I finally got it, no thanks to The Canuck. However... I am EXTREMELY happy with it. In fact, it is better than what I had hoped for and blew away what I had gotten from The Steff (it's really the same thing with very very very minor differences). Wanna see it? Nope. Not yet at least. Maybe if your REALLY good one day, I'll share. The Nick also had a date with some other guy who is apparently replacing Goldberg. Reportedly this guy is a great kisser... which is all fine and dandy I guess... but we all know Dogs give the best kisses. I give this guy until September 1.
As for The Steff... well her and The Donkey are celebrating their 3 month anniversary today. Someone gag me with a spoon. One of her friends had a run-in with Officer Crumb. She relayed the story to me, which includes her supposed friend running at the mouth about everything she's doing. She was mildly pissed. I was extremely enraged. The absolute last thing she needs is this jack-off waking up and realizing what he lost and now trying to get it back. I'm not having it... and it has nothing to do with the fact The Donkey is my friend. It has to do with the fact that The Steff is my friend and I won't tolerate this asshole putting her into the fetal postion crying again. I'll break his friggin' legs.
Finally is The Pudding. So she decided to join the growing horde that is MySpace. Of course, I added her as a friend (I'm up to like 64! Wow am I popular huh?) and of course she totally forgot that this weekend is Ozzfest which led I am extremely psyched about. Needless to say, she of course wanted me to Wolf Watch Saturday which I just can't do... so now she's being pissy. I'm trying really hard to allow the grief and aggravation to roll off my back... and so far her pissyness has... but I know some tragedy is going to be happening on Saturday. Tough shitsky as we say in Brighton Beach.
That's all there is this week. I know it seems the drama has slowed down a bit... but it is summer... and I have been working on other stuff so I don't get involved as much as I do. Once I get bored with everything else... well you can rest assured the drama will be back with a vengeance.
Thursday, July 27, 2006It's Still FOAD Thursday
I was in a good mood. That is... until KG and Shelly pointed me in the direction of Mr. Fabulous. Now I'll be honest... I've been pretty pre-occupied between my foray into some very light coding and the fact the Ozzman is coming in less than 48 hours. So I overlooked this. Bad me.
Well it turns out that Mr. Fabulous has been fired from his job for his blog. Yes... another blogger has been dooced. Details are sketchy to say the very least. Apparently some fucktardouchebagscumsuckingasshole complained to his bosses about it being a "hostile work environment" because of what he has been writing on his blog.
Now call me dense... but if anyone would be creating a hostile work environment on his blog it would be me. How is squeaky clean Mr. Fab being hostile? Right. There's something rotten in Florida... and it isn't Avitable's lunch.
So Mr. Fab has been dooced. He has been dooced unfairly and unjustly. There was someone behind. So a nuclear size FOAD to the fucktarddouchebagscumsuckingasshole behind it... here's some Peace and thousands of my potential children just died all over your mother's face Love...
Guess what today is??? Yep... it's Fuck Off And Die Thursday!!! This is by far my favorite day of the blogging week. Today is the day where I list everyone who pissed me right off and tell them to... that's right! Fuck off and die.
There's only one problem. I really don't have anyone to FOAD. Yeah I know, creepy right? Me. No one to FOAD... and no, I'm not on meds or anything that has made me calmer. It's really kind of weird... although I get the feeling that tomorrow someone will TOTALLY piss me off and make me go BONKERS... but there really isn't anyone... especially since they fired the Dunkin' Donuts guy who always screwed my order up.
I would like to mention something that has kinda bugged me a little bit since last week. Someone left a comments saying how "your FOAD is really taking off". They were meaning that it seems everywhere you turn people are turning their collective backs on Thursday Thirteen and going with FOADT instead. I need to point out that I was not the one who created or thought up FOAD. See, I couldn't come up with anything THAT cool. I come up with stupid totally fictional rants based on some photoshopped and googled pictures that just proves I have WAY too much time on my paws. No... it was a beautiful and totally original person who created FOAD.
That someone is Lysie over at Professional Redhead. She deserves the accolades for creating the bestest blogging day of the week. So... since I am a huge disappointment... go visit Lysie or go to the official FOADT site and visit some real FOADers.
Apparently, I'm just a fraud. Oh, and to anyone who believes that last sentence... well peace and love... NYC style...
Tuesday, July 25, 2006Breaking News... The Identity of Princess Pottymouth Uncovered!!!
For those of you who don't know... I have been on a secret mission. You see... all the bitches at IT2M have "other" blogs... and I had two of the "Big Three" (Ms. Chatty, Bitter Bitch, and Princess Pottymouth) pegged after a marijuana related revelation. Only Princess Pottymouth remained elusive.
It started late one night when Luin (who has moved her blog by the way and you really should visit) and I decided to kill 6 hours trying to figure out the "real" blog of Princess Pottymouth from IT2M. We browsed, surfed, and compiled lists of suspects. We did grammatical syntax analysis, side-bars were scrutinized, and color matching was performed. We codenamed her "Rainbow Brite" so that we could leave any spies wondering what our true subject was. We formed the Center for Princess Pottymouth Research, based in the Pacific Northwest and ran our evidence through biologicl tests, exams, and centrifugical whirly things.
After weeks of searching we came up dead ended. We were stalled. The path had gone cold... and our scientists filled with despair and a desire to return looking for Sasquatch. Not for nothing, if you fuckers are reading this, Sasquatch has been around for BILLIONS OF YEARS and will probably be around for more. Princess Pottymouth however has only been around since October 26, 2005... and could totally "disappear" at any moment.
Then it happened. The Bitches at IT2M went on strike. In fact... they rioted outside the headquarters of Douchebag Fucktard Bloggers International... where this photo was snapped...
Do you see her? Right there... in the front row! So this photo was sent to the CPPR for analysis. To be honest, the results were not quite what I expected. First, what they did was take a closer look at her hands...
See those? Right... fucking man hands. A shitload of fantasies just went right out the door with that close up. Now they scanned it, measured it, and yes... were able to get a partial print on it!!! We have Princess Pottymouth's hand print!!!
Sweet mother we were close. I could smell the vanilla... okay, well the vanilla came from some new candles I got but anyway... we ran the print through the Blogging Imbecile Agency database (we refuse to allow it to be used as an oxymoron) for a match. Nothing. So then... we ran it through Interpol. Nothing. By a freak coffee accident, it got run through the General Motors Known Union Laborers database, and we had a MATCH!!!
It was not what I expected. I asked for verification three times. Three times it came back the same. Now I was faced with a moral dilemna. Do I turn around and publish this... my own personal blogging Holy Grail? Surely the Bitches will place an order for execution on my head. I would be the Blogosphere equivalent of Salman Rushdie. Or do I hide this information forever in a code that only Velma from Scooby Doo could crack with the use of centrifugical whirly thingys? It was something I sat long and hard thinking about...
I have always been a proponent of the truth. I have always let the shit fly no matter the consequences in 97% of the matters here... I mean sure I haven't raged as to why I had to shave my goatee off... but that's because I believe I may have been compromised by the others... but this... this... this is huge. Gigantic. Enormous. This is something I need to do for self satisfaction after being haunted night after night by Rainbow Brite and her Stallion Minions.
So, ladies and gentleman, the search for the true identity of Princess Pottymouth has come to an end. This, as certifiable by the CPPR, is a picture of Princess Pottymouth...
And this is her blog.
The IT2M death squads could be knocking on my door at any moment. Luin, keep the Ben Franklin, just get Flava Flav to the memorial, and this time have it at East Fordham and Webster... that's where my peeps will remember the The King of All Drama best.
Monday, July 24, 2006Carpe Coding
So tonight I had my first real run in with PHP coding and MYSQL tables. To be totally honest... I had no idea what I was doing... I have no idea what it was that I did only that I fucked something up royally... but somehow I got it to work right it seems. Someone's going to ask what "IT" is... well too bad. It's actually me trying to save myself $50 a year... so there... it has nothing to do with you... yet.
So while I am pretty useless when it comes to this type of stuff... my new roomie Useless Men are just as useless about everything else that goes on in the world. He's going to be here all week... obviously being useless as I continue to try and seize the code.
Sunday, July 23, 2006Ooogle Monday
It is the start of yet another blogful week... and another Ooogle Monday here at APODB. In honor of the release of Clerks II, here is the newbie and a veteran of the Kevin Smith films...
Now while he may not be all suave in the hat and jacket... well he cleans up real nice...
Have a good week!!!
So this is what happens when one of your relief bangs out on the overnight and you have nothing to do... you think about shit to write about when you get off...
Have you ever wondered about who invented CTRL+ALT+DEL? Well I came across this post at Toxic. Apparently the person who did it was an IBM programmer David Bradley who is retiring after 29 years of service. Originally he had tried CTRL+ALT+ESC, but found it too easy to reset the computer by accident. Hmmm... makes me wonder what he was doing on his desk to make the entire left side of the keyboard depress...
You know how there are times people just disappear off the Internet, either with no updates, no e-mail replies, or their blog just one day goes *POOF*? You end up erasing them from your links or whatever 3 months later assuming they met the fate of the Real World Monster and never look back. So what happens when in six months they re-surface? How would you know? See that was always my issue. Hence why I never removed PYMMOTI from my blogroll, which by the way lists blogs by latest updates. That's right... PYMMOTI is back near the top of the roll... that's right... HAT3 is back!!! And you guys thought I was fucked in the head??? Heh... you ain't seen nothing yet...
Just when one great blogger comes back... another looks like she may pack up shop. That's right... IT2M is under Chatty Law right now. No reviews until she says so. Why? Because people see a review site and are like "Oh my, I'll get a great review and submit here!". They don't even take a minute to read the site... yet they expect the reviewers to go through all the dumb stories about Baby John, all the MeMes of how your the "Cloudy as Fuck" weather type, and of course pictures of last nights dinner that you TOTALLY overpaid for (yes the entire region of Malaysia I am referring to you) entry, after entry, after entry, after... you get the point right?
So when their review comes out, and really isn't flattering, they get all upset. Then they try to blame the reviewers and get all whiny and shit. So Ms. Chatty has had it with illiterate people who expect something for nothing. I can't say I blame her for the frustration... but to shun those who love and adore you to shut down the criticism from those light years beneath you is so... so... Eddie Vedderish. I personally hope its a temporary fit of rage and that the blogistry that has become IT2M continues.
I'm sending her an invoice for entertainment services rendered. That's all you guys need to know.
Finally, I keep running into people participating next weekend in the Blog-A-Thon. Unfortunately... due to previous commitments (OZZFEST MOTHER FUCKERS!!! I'LL BE ROCKIN' OUT WITH MY COCK OUT!!!) I am unable to participate in the Blog-A-Thon. I did sponsor some bloggers though... who I will mention later on during the week so you can support them... but in the meantime check out the Blog-A-Thon site and see who's blogging for your favorite charity and sponsor them.
Saturday, July 22, 2006Mr. Pillowpants
..."37... in a row?" Yeah, I'm a cheap pop artist who enjoys the simplicity of the one-liner. Although the movie centers around Brian O'Halloran's Dante Hicks character and Jeff Anderson's Randall Graves character the show gets stolen by Jason Mewes' infamous character Jay and what I think should be an Oscar winning performance. Mewes' portrayal of a now clean and sober Jay, which is not a far cry from his own 3 year and running sobriety, left the theater in an uproar and the guy in front of me with a twice soda soaked toupe. Yes... I'm a spitter. I have an additional lust for Rosario Dawson, a new sympathy for those psycho religous freaks like Trevor Fehrman's character Elias who think girls have pussy trolls named Mr. Pillowpants that will bite your penis off if you try and have sex, and a newfound disgust for the LOTR Trilogy... because it's true... it took three movies to walk to a volcano.
Thursday, July 20, 2006Honoring Thy Tenant, Landlords, Friday Drama Update, and A Huge Announcement
So today is once again Friday. I generally make Friday's the day I honor my tenant and landlords for the week and provide an update on the drama that has become my life. So allow me to once again mention my tenant, the great host of Survivor BE, Dark Marcy! Go visit the Dark One and follow the battles of the Bloggers in the BE Chatroom.
Also I'd like to thank Southern Gal Goes North for letting me crash at her place. Thanks, really.
Ok... important stuff... much drama... The Steff got scoped... The Nick is owing me... The Canuck needs to give The Nick what she owes me... and blah blah fucking blah.
Do I seem rushed? Sorry... but I am SO excited! Today is Friday July 21, 2006. Do you know where I will be at 10:15 pm tonight? One guess...
Snootchie Bootchies you tubby bitches!!! That's right... gonna go see me some Clerks II!!! Gonna role with the homies to see what Randall and Dante have been up to. There will also be guaranteed appearances by a clean and sober Jay and the "man" himself, Silent mother fucking Bob!!! Here's the trailer if for some odd reason you live under a rock and missed it...
Now try and understand how important this is. Clerks, Mallrats, and Chasing Amy (also known as The Jersey Trilogy to us the original faithful) gave us so much good fodder that we continue to use it over 10 years after the movies came out. The "tubby bitch" dialogue has been a routine amongst us since the original movie.
Me: "You'rr a tubby bitch."So yeah... I am psyched... all I need to do now is get through until tonight. Needless to say I'll be posting about it sometime over this weekend. Until then... Snootchie Bootchies my Tubby Bitches!!!
Technorati Tags:Clerks II,Silent Bob,Kevin Smith,Jason Mewes
Wednesday, July 19, 2006FOAD Thursday
It is once again Thursday... and do you know what that means? That's right... time to tell those who need to Fuck Off And Die to do so in fashion with some righteous Peace and Love!!! Before I go into my FOADs this week, guess what the inventor of FOAD has done? That's right... FOAD now has an official website at www.FOADT.com!!! Go check it out for the "official" FOAD blog paraphanelia!!!
So my first FOAD has to go to the Dunkin Donuts idiot. Still... everyday... I order the same exact thing (a large French Vanilla Ice Coffee light with cream and four Splendas)... and everyday I tell him this... and everyday my order gets SCREWED UP! Today it was Hazlenut. Yesterday it was plain. The day before he used regular milk. Need I continue? No, I didn't think so. So for practically the third time, fuck off and die Dunkin Donuts idiot... or at the very least GET A NEW JOB!
My next FOAD goes to this bitchy little blogger. See, apparently my friend Ethel discovered that she's not really a blogger at all. She's a flat out plagarist. She copies posts with links and graphics intact and then posts them as her own. I hate crap like that. I know some people don't mid it, because imitation is a great form of flatter, but that isn't imitation. That my friends is IMPERSONATION. So to that little blogger, and all the impersonators out there, a big old fuck off and die.
My next FOAD goes to those who are under this misconception that I am a vengeful and spiteful person. To actually think I would seek "revenge" on someone who for the last 10 years has been a great partner and a best friend, well your obviously delusional. In fact, I am quite the opposite. When I am wronged, I correct that wrong in a manner I see fit. If I feel I am in a position that requires me to interact or do something I may not necessarily want to do, such as reading stuff I really have no need or desire to read, I simply remove myself from that position. Do not blame me for the inability of you to put 2+2 together... or in this case partner + partner X 10 years= Same Personalities... and whatever issues you have with them, well take it up WITH them. If you feel you have an issue with me, then please feel free to take it up with me but preferably not when I'm in the back of a bus with a Zooted and Polluted patient spitting at me... so until then... FOAD k?
My next and final FOAD goes out to those who wear slacks, shirts, and ties instead of a uniform. Those who wear leather patent shoes instead of work boots. Those who think there is a science behind those in need. Those who think that image is everything. A big old Fuck Off And Die to you and yours. You may not like us... in fact I tend to think you despise us because our shirts may not be pressed, our boots may not shine like those Gucci shoes you wear, and we may not have the time to shave inbetween tours. In the end we're the ones standing inbetween the patient and the Reaper... we're the ones fighting the battles in this neverendless war that you are profiting from... we're the ones who get the job that you need done. When... and I say "when" because I honestly believe it is a matter of when as compared to a matter of "if"... you get your way well here's what the people who lose their fight with the Reaper will have to say to you...
Fuck Off And Die
Technorati Tags: FOAD,Fuck Off And Die,Blogging,Thursday
August 10, 2006 at 11:30am.
Soft tissue biopsy.
Quitting is overdue.
Monday, July 17, 2006My New Tenant and Useless
So I have a new tenant... that's right... Mr. Fabulous has left us... and in his place I have the host of BE Survivor, Dark Marcy. For those of you not aware, I was the second blogger voted off the "island"... but there are still 12 other contestants vying for the prize including the wonderful Some Girl. So go see Dark Marcy for updates as the Survivor BE Island Drama unfolds. Go take a peek why don't you?
I honestly really wasn't sure what I could write about tonight. I hate using the term "blog about" because in reality it's writing... and I say if the kettle's black call it black. In all honesty I know what I WANT to write, but I'll actually be holding back a little bit until certain things further develop. So instead... I figured I would give you a five different things going on in the blogosphere that if I was a cool and talented person I would have probably thought of first. I think they are cool for you to check out.
Yeah... I know... I should put the crack pipe down and hide the gourmet oregano before someone walks in on me... sorry...
Sunday, July 16, 2006Ooogle Monday
It is once again Monday and time for our regularly scheduled Ooogle Monday Exercises. Remember, ten minutes of Ooogling a day will make you a healthier blogger!!!
This is Martine McCutcheon, who I chose to Ooogle this week since she was my "other woman" to last week's Ooogle Keira Knightley from Love Actually. I just love those saucy brunette Brits. I'd gladly be her crumpet...
And since the ladies felt a little jipped in last week's Pirates themed Ooogle because I chose the former elven prince to highlight as opposed to the haircutter from hell...
Everybody have a good week!
Saturday, July 15, 2006Computer Programmer or Serial Killer
I've been quietly following the developements in Phoenix and their two serial killer dilemna. Having two serial killers operating in the same area in the same time frame is statistically odd, especially since neither one of them appear to be copycats. I have always had an interest in serial killers, ever since the Zodiac Killer Copycat terrorized New York. He was a copycat to the REAL Zodiac Killer who operated between 1968 and 1974 in San Francisco. The San Francisco Zodiac was never officially caught, although many people think it was Ted Kaczynski who was convicted of also being the Unabomber (the domestic terrorist, NOT the poker player) when he plead guilty to those charges in 1998.
I distinctly remember a discussion in my High School Psychology class where it was asked, "What does a serial killer look like?" One of the Hungry-Man Dinner sisters raised her hand and said, "They look like Watchdog." At first I was a little honored she would think of me in such a loving way after I had already professed to her my love and adoration in one of those passed under the desk notes a few months prior. I was horrified when my teacher agreed with her... mainly because she was one of the hottest teachers I had and as usual for a high schooler many afternoons were spent fantasizing about the "forbidden" type of relationship. As the class went on, well other people (not from class) brought up other names and types of people, all of which she agreed to. Her point... a serial killer can be anyone... even a blogger as we have come to discover.
So I found this little quiz which asks you who you think these people are... Computer Programmers or Serial Killers. I honestly only recognized one from the group and scored a 6/10... so why don't you see how you do deciphering the difference between cold hearted killer and cold fusion programmer.
Friday, July 14, 2006Honoring They New Tenant, Landlords, and the Friday Drama Update
Thank God it's Friday! As usual here at APODB we will be honoring this week's Tenant and Landlord. Now my Tenant this week is just Fabulous. That's right... Mr. Fabulous. He is a Fabulous guy, with a Fabulous blog, and you know what??? You guys have been LESS than Fabulous in seeing him this week. So if you want to be Fabulous just like Mr. Fabulous well then click on over... he has hot red-headed Pixies With Attitude.
As for landlord's this week... well I have none. I was just wandering around the blogosphere this week... but I do have somewhere for you to go. I highly recommend that if you haven't checked out Did I Say That? yet then you need to. We're pretty darn close to 100 members now. There's a lot of fun that goes on over there... and I can almost guarantee that if you read here... you'll see some familiar faces...
Now for the Friday Drama Update. Not much drama cracka-lackin lately. The Steff went to see Kelly Clarkson tonight... of course The Donkey was the one who got her the tickets but only after KC provided him with the inside industry hook-up. Now had he been a REAL man, well he would have gone with her. Instead of him going like he should have... well she ended up taking Zooted and Polluted. This of course happened AFTER I suggested it because otherwise... well I probably would have been at Kelly Clarkson tonight taking my own life with a spoon.
The Nick is plodding away... we really haven't talked much... not sure why... maybe she's still mad because I didn't go July 4th to her house. The part that's killing me is there is this picture I NEED... and The Canuck has it on her camera but hasn't e-mailed the digital version yet. In a way that's good... because it makes me patient for other things that are coming.
Finally I will speak on someone I have not spoken about simply because I was hesitant since I learned she reads this blog (who the was I kidding... if you Google NYC Watchdog guess what shows up?) and it kinda makes me nervous. So Christine and I met the other day for dinner. One of the things I was whining about was dating today and how it feels so... different.
So she says to me, "Do you know why you and I could never have worked out?" Of course I'm curious as to her insight into my twisted and dark persona. If you looked at us you would seriously question why we were in the same restaurant much less at the same table... and chalk it up to either family or a blind date from hell. So I asked why. She says, "You are the greatest friend, the best person if you need something, and as selfless as they come. The problem is that you treat the people you date like you treat yourself. Like shit. You also have a problem with commitment even though you don't want to admit it."
Wow. Now besides the fact I was in the middle of eating Shepards Pie, I really didn't know what to say. I guess I had a confused look on my face and so she went on to point out when the last time was I went shopping for me. Does T-Shirt Hell count? No. Mmmm... two years ago. When was the last time I went somewhere I wanted to go for me? Last year I went to Atlantic City July 4th weekend. With other people? Mmmm... 1998 maybe. Needless to say her point was made.
As for the commitment thing she pointed out that while I am a very caring and compassionate person (these are HER words here people... NOT my own) at work, I'm really only spending 45 or so minutes with someone. Then she was kind enough to point out that while married to Pudding, I would see her at most 72 hours a week, of which 24 of them were usually spent sleeping. Glad I didn't have her as a witness at the divorce hearing. Maybe I had that doom and gloom look on my face... because then she paid!
It was an insightful and interesting dinner... and best of all it was free. What is the point to all of this and what does it have to do with the drama? It really has no point nor anything to do with the drama... and yet it has everything.
Have a good weekend.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006FOAD Thursday... Showing The Peace and Love
So it is once again Thursday and another edition of FOAD and I'll be Showing The Peace and Love. It's going to be a long one, so you really should buckle up.
An Illustration of Blogger Tyranny
Miss Ann Thrope happened to point out that she had left a comment on this blog at this post here. Her comment about the subject, which was how people who are "childfree" are on the way to having a "stunted soul". Well she had a problem with this, and rightfully so. So she spoke her mind as always, and her comment was deleted. If you click on that link it takes you to where the comment was actually deleted. Her comment # should have been #c001370. It goes from #c001369 to #c001371 (you can tell by mousing over the # sign) which indicates a deleted comment. Now I read the comment, and considering the source, it was very tame on a subject personal to a LOT of people including my cousins who have some issues in having children.
So what was SO bad that had to be deleted. Well here it is in her words. I don't see anything wrong with it... and to be honest I abhor people who delete comments. So me being me... I interjected my two cents here with this comment:
This is a very interesting article regarding sibling relations. I think you make some very valid points about children needing to navigate certain things on their own. In fact, I would encourage more so activity to avoid a severe lack of stimuli that could lead to a medicore intelligence quotient and severe lack of initiative when common sense demands action.Now how many people are asking yourselves who wrote that? Go on... raise your hand... yeah I know Scottage... you're not the only one... just the only brave one. Yes, I did write that, and yes I did read the post the comment was left in and found the theory somewhat interesting and relevant to the actual topic I wanted to discuss... the deletion of comments. By the way, peace and love are bolded for a reason which I will go into later.
Now not only did my comment NOT get deleted, but I got a reply that went like this:
Someone pinch me. Did Betsy actually say, "Write on"? That was pretty dumb. Obviously she doesn't know me... then again it seems more and more people don't know me so she may as well join their ranks. She claims that she removes foul or vulgar language, threats, or abusive comments. Did she miss where I said, "will be returning soon to see if this troubling news is indeed true and that you are not a professional but rather an electronic evangelist preparing your followers to provide their children with a Kool-Aid party." which is telling her I think she is preparing parents to murder their children ala cult style. Isn't that just a little abusive? How about where I said, "Should I find this comment deleted or altered in any way then your mask will be removed and I will be revealing the true you… who lacks the respect for your readers and common sense in that this is the Internet and everything is connected." Isn't that a bit threatening? Yet, she removes threatening and abusive comments. NOT.
Had Betsy actually said to, "Write on"? Well... okay... if she insists... here was comment #2:
Betsy… I must say I am more than pleasantly surprised to find not only my comment intact, but a response as well! Thank you also for the invitation to “write on”, because on this subject I believe I will one more time.Now allow me to clarify something because I am now about to admit I am retarded. I used the word intellectuality and in reality the word I had wanted to use was creativity. Allow me a second of diligence on this. If I see a comment that says, "You suck dick." I am not impressed. In fact I feel it pointless to use some sort of phrase I used in 4th Grade to describe the Penguins waking me with the yard stick. I would much prefer something along the lines of, "You must understand that I am in mourning since thousands of my possible future children died in your mouth last night." Anybody see the difference? Here's another occasionally crude one, "Fuck you!". If you really want to, sure, but that's neither here nor there because what I would much rather see is something like, "My purple helmeted warrior of love will be razing and ravaging through the wet jungle known as Your Pubes before causing a nuclear holocaust in the pink valley below to make it flow red with blood." I prefer creativity. I also understand that there are sometimes when those four letter words are what transmits the message perfectly, and lord knows I am very vulgar in that aspect and hardly creative in many of my posts, but the point is it rarely does anything for me in comments when I read them. So now that I cleared that up... yes I will accept that I am a bitch... not only a bitch though, I'm a chatty one according to her... and while I don't mind being called one saying "You are a perfect example of a transgender operation gone wrong. Going to grow a penis soon you little bitch you?"... just sayin. So let's move on shall we?
So I have been trying to figure out what it was in the comment that could have been found vulgar... but I honestly couldn't. Miss Ann herself pointed out it may have been her use of the words "Crack Whore" which I do not find any vulgarity and in seeing as how both words, the second being recognized as the world's oldest profession for that matter, are both found in the dictionary. The FCC itself has never ruled those two terms as obscene... then again they never really ruled any words obscene as you can read in the FCC obscenity laws. In fact they say that "An average person, applying contemporary community standards, must find that the material, as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest;" meaning that since I am an average person, who writes for average people on a more than average blog, in a community that is often dominated by four letter words, and since I do not find "Crack Whore" obscene, well then it isn't.
Here is the total part that kills me. Betsy wrote this book called It Takes A Parent and apparently has a nationally syndicated column. I was originally mistaken in thinking that she was a journalist, when in fact she is only an author with a book ranking on Amazon.com at #274,081. Not too shabby... but here is an excerpt from her promo:
Tyrannized by "experts." Obsessed with perfection. Harried and anxious to the point of misery. Columnist and commentator Betsy Hart sees these traits in what she calls today's "parenting culture"-... This insightful, commonsense book will help shift the focus back to the role and responsibilities of parents-for guiding the character and hearts of their children, so they will grow up to be responsible adults themselves.So Betsy apparently feels people are "tyrannized". Tyranny is defined as "Absolute power, or its use" by Wikitionary. So here the she is, claiming parents are "tryrannizd"... but the she is participating in Blogger Tyranny by deleting comments herself! Hypocritical? Absolutely. Unethical? Absolutely. But then again, she isn't a true Blogger anyway.
I think what Betsy needs to do is stick to a static website (that she has already) that doesn't allow comments. Or maybe what she should do is open her own forum for just such occasions... something that requires a membership in her cult. I realize Blogs are the chic in thing to do... but if it is going to be on an open platform then that's how it should stay... open. It's incidents like this, where Old Media practices of editing and censoring infect the Blogosphere that give Blogs a bad name.
Is your head spinning yet? Yeah, I figured. Sorry... but this needed to be done. So for the following crimes against her readers and commentors:
So now Betsy from Betsy's Blog... Fuck Off And Die you hypocritical snobby deceitful blathering tyrannical beotch before I am forced to kill thousands of my potential children all over the face of your blog in an attempt to make it look better. Here is some very special Peace and Love for you my dear and it is right up your alley...
If you decide not to heed my recommendations then at the very least do yourself a favor and go here and get a decent template. No one can take you seriously with that crap look you have going on... it's as bad as wearing a t-shirt and jeans to a black tie affair you unbloggerized heathen.
Rumor has it you have some guy "Tom" as a pitbull. Warning dear old "Tom", unlike your master I'll let you say anything you want about me in my comments without fear of deletion... just try to be original and creative... but if you attack one of MY commenters you'll end up like this closed minded ass. Pitbulls ain't got nothing on me... I'm pure mofo Shepard. Kabeesh?
Tuesday, July 11, 2006Being a Goner, "Liberty" Wasn't Liberating, and State of Mind
I am the second person voted off the Island on BE Survivor. My tribe supported me though... and I fell severly short in the challenge. So I'm picking her to win it. Go show some fucking support would ya?
78% of my fleet was washed away. Still moved 600 patients in 6 hours. In the end I suppose it was worth it... but not liberating in any shape or form. I need the real thing. I need to feel alive.
I have that FOAD State of Mind right now. I am plenty of things. I can be immature, eccentric, brazen, bold, a fucker (not in the sexual sense), a moron, an idiot, and of course THE ASSHOLE. Hell... I can even be a chatty bitch. But ya know what? I won't turn around and chat about what kind of a BITCH someone else can be, how someone has some serious stalker qualities, how someone does nothing but snipe after practically everything you say, and of course let's not forget about doing a GOD DAMN GALLOP POLL about something you did which of course was her version of it anyway IN A PLACE YOU'RE CONSTANTLY AT and with people you socialize, either in real life or cyberly. Oh, and something else I won't be doing, is after all is said and done, I won't be going out WITH YOUR PARTNER OF 10 YEARS AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT THE SAME THINGS I COMPLAINED ABOUT YOU BECAUSE JUST BY DOING THAT PROVES I OBVIOUSLY AM A STUPID FUCKING RETARD!!! I do a lot of stupid things including using the word "intelectually" instead of "creativity" (which is something entirely different that is now bothering me after some thought) but that one IS my fault, and I'll do my best to make it right... but that's all beside the point.
Why? Because no. I won't do any of those things. I could've. Hell, after the Gallop Poll I should've. But I didn't and I won't.
I hate that no place has ever given me what I need except for death, pain, and misery.
I hate that I continue to let it bottle up until it pops instead of letting it loose here. I hate that people still don't understand me. I've tried... really I have.
So be it... and all that cal my little droogies... all that cal... to the only one who has ever shown me true unconditional love back...
Whenever I'm alone with you you make me feel
Like I am home again whenever I'm alone with
You you make me feel like I am whole again
Whenever I'm alone with you you make me feel
Like I am young again whenever I'm alone with
You you make me feel like I am fun again
However far away I will always love you however
Long I stay I will always love you whatever
Words I say I will always love you I will always
Whenever I'm alone with you you make me feel
Like I am free again whenever I'm alone with
You you make me feel like I am clean again
However far away I will always love you however
Long I stay I will always love you whatever
Words I say I will always love you I will always
Monday, July 10, 2006Chatty Bitches and Liberty
ZCZC MIATCPAT1 ALL
I really hope people read that last line. So yeah... tomorrow... Hurricane "Liberty" will be hitting NYC in a tabletop exercise organized by the Mayor's Office of Emergency Management. Now to me... this is a curse. See, Louisianna had run a similar tabletop called Hurricane Pam in June of 2005. What happened? Well they ran the exercise for a category 3... and Katrina came on land as a Category 4 and kicked the shit out of them. Guess what "Liberty" is supposed to be??? Right... a Category 3.
A few months ago I supposedly had an article in Scrye published about gamers running FEMA Tabletop Drills. I was pretty adamant about it then... and still am... that the local officials will always take an "easier" route than the worst case scenario. Now as a gamer... if I was doing this... it would be a Category 5 storm, Far Rockaway and Coney Island would be washed off the map, Wall Street would go under 20 feet of water, the Statue of Liberty would be floating up The Avenue of the Americas, and there would be marauding bands of Beholders that had come up out of the subway to feed on the overgrown water rats we know as homosapiens.
Instead... tomorrow I go to "the bunker"... stand on the trading floor in front of the Grand Poobah as he stands at his pulpit... and auction off my services like a mercenary to the highest bidder to evacuate their people. I like the auction part... although I know if it ever was real... I'd be in SoHo... hunting Beholders.
Early day tomorrow... later gators...
So this week is another themed Ooogle Monday. This week, in honor of Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest, we will be Ooogling...
And for the harem... here's your boy looking all wet...
Now just to prove to everyone how important Ooogle Mondays have become... well Orlando Bloom himself has taken Ooogling to stay in shape as well. In fact... here he is in action Ooogling Keira Knightley at the London premiere of Pirates 2...
And you all thought I was just being a horn dog... So remember to do as Orlando did... Ooogle for ten minutes... get that blood flowing... it's all for YOUR health...
Sunday, July 09, 2006A New Tenant and Surviving
When I got home last night I found LDITRH hog tied with duct tape... and the little fuscia haired vixen was gone. He won't talk about it... but I think he might have gotten a little frisky and she kicked his ass. Serves him right. This morning I found LDITRH having a hearty breakfast made by none other than Mr. Fabulous. So Mr. Fabulous and his Pointless Drivel will be staying the week. Contrary to it's title, Mr. Fab always has a point although it may be a little more eccentric for the normal person. So since we're not normal and we're quite eccentric here at APODB compared to the normal person... he'll fit right in. So go give him a visit and learn about the famed Festival of the Inbred!
Guess what? I'm partaking in Dark Marcy's BE Survivor Contest!!! Heres a little promo video...
It kicks off tomorrow night at 10:00pm EST.
Saturday, July 08, 2006Turtlecide
I honestly feel that before you become a parent you should pass a morality test. There are so many out there with young children who are failing to provide them with guidance it makes me ill. This is but one, and a rather outrageous one at that, example of parental stupidity that may one day result in a serial killer in your neighborhood.
Today was a corporate event on Randall's Island where we provided coverage. Randall's Island is actually in the middle of the East River and is the very middle of the Triborough Bridge that connects Queens, Manhattan, and the Bronx. The "Client" is a powerful corporation who, by my guesstimate, spends anywhere between 5 and 10 million dollars on this event every year for their employees and their guests.
Over the years they have been striving to make it a bit more kid oriented. Traditionally families arrive when gates open at noon, and are out by 6:00pm while the adults and singles from the company party on until 9:00pm. They have a few bars, built a Diner stand, built a beach (yes... they built a beach), treehouses, play areas, tea lounges, and a stage where the entertainment perform on. There are a great number of acts and roaming entertainment as well. Attendance is usually around 10-12 thousand people. Like I had said... big company.
One of the things they did this year was to try and bring more of a "backyard picnic" feel to it like they had in the old days when they held the affair in the backyard of their now "retired" CEO. In doing this they brought in a bunch of different animals. There were monkeys, baby bears, a baby tiger, and a large turtle with a bunch of baby turtles. These animals were in the kids area, where we also had a First Aid tent.
While I was making the rounds and checking on the guys who were stationed at the tents I came across a staff member for the event who was crying and visibly shaken. Now try to remember something, image is EVERYTHING to these people, and in addition to the ban on staff members wearing hats, sunglasses, and using cell phones... well I'm sure crying was on that list but just wasn't mentioned. They are corporate mongers afterall.
So I asked her in my soft voice, "Hey, is everything okay?" while trying to push her towards the back of house.
"Oh yeah," she said, "I am so out of here." Ah... so she was quitting! Glad to see someone not willing to sell their soul for the corporate mongers pleasure unlike my punk ass self.
"But why are you crying?" I asked again. It was curiosity plain and simple. Had someone said something mean to her? Had someone improperly propositioned her? Had someone physically accosted or assaulted her?
She turned to me... puffy eyes... and a dark stain on her shirt and said, "I was working with the turtles. There was one kid, a 4 year old, who ripped the legs off one of the baby turtles, and do you know what the parents did?"
I was in shock. This was not what I expected at all. A 4 year old. A 4 year old who ripped the legs off a baby turtle. I couldn't say anything. My mouth was open but no sound was coming from it.
"They laughed," she told me. "They laughed and thought it was the cutest thing that their child just killed a baby animal." With that she turned away and continued marching out of the party with her tears still flowing. I was so sad, so enraged, and so ashamed at the same time. But I was also proud... proud that she had not sold her soul to the corporate mongers that day as I myself had.
The mere fact that a parent would watch their child to kill a baby animal and NOT discipline or reprimand the child is wrong... no matter who you work for or what you do. At 4 years old if you do something wrong and are punished you know it was wrong. If you do something wrong and are applauded by laughter which represents happiness you think you did well. Those parents should be fixed and their child taken away to a home that will teach him morals. He is a serial killer waiting to happen... and who will be laughing then?
Peace and love you fucktard immoral ambiently stupid parents... peace and love...
Friday, July 07, 2006Honoring Thy Tenant, Landlords, and the Friday Drama Update
So it is once again that time of the week where I pay tribute to my tenant and thank those grascious enough to let me stay with them.
So first is my tenant, Miss Ann Thrope. To honor her and the little fuscia haired vixen LDIRH has been so smitten with... allow me to educate you on her name... or my interpretation of it. Her name really is not Ann nor is it Thrope. However if your ever become so brazen as to address her or send an e-mail (she LOVES mail) you should always call her Miss Ann. The name itself is (99% chance) derived from the word misanthropy which is a general hatred of the human race. So if a feeling of misanthopy ever comes over you... revel in the fact that you have a kindered soul in Miss Ann Thrope... and that fuscia haired vixen. Just a little educational tribute there.
This week I have left LDIRH with the fuscia haired vixen and have grabbed a piece of flying carpet at the Infamous Izzy's Pixie Dust and the one and only Geeky Dragon Girl's Confessions from a Private Lesbian. Both of them have been nice enough to let me crash while LDIRH gets his groove on and they are both very distinguished members of the forum that if you haven't gone to, well you're missing out! So go visit Izzy and Geeky and thank them for putting up with my crabbiness this week.
Now for the Friday Drama Update. Well as I already made a brief previous mention The Steff had a party Saturday for The Donkey and some other guy who both happen to be born on the same day which was Monday. There was a keg, some vodka, a bottle of Hypnotic, and some seriously good food. Of course... someone always has to cause drama... and this time it was X who decided he would boycott since The Donkey had ditched out on him for his birthday for a baseball game. Now I'm not one to talk because I ditched out on him for TOOL too... but at the same time while I understood that most people see this as childish behavior... well it was... but it's also how X rolls. I've known him for 12 years, so for anyone to expect anything different is just being unrealistic. X is how X is and I'll still love him.
Another wonderful thing happened early Monday morning. Mel had the baby... a baby girl that came in at 6 pounds 7 ounces. I was a little upset, because if it was a boy I wanted his name to be Perro. I can't force her to name a girl Perro... that would just fuck the kid up beyond how fucked up it already is going to be. Luckily the baby has Mel's fair complexion, so the question of is it Moose's or is it Santa Ana's remains unanswered. I am almost willing to pay for the DNA test... almost.
Also as previously mentioned, The Nick had a party on Tuesday. I had wanted to go... but between hail and a few other things... it just didn't happen. Of course she's pissed at me... although I tend to think she's over it by now which is good. If she was going to be holding a grudge then there would be issues because when she's a no call/no show we usually forgive and forget.
Finally, while I had 3 inches of water in my basement, well The Steff and The Donkey woke up to Mr. Hanky the Fourth of July Poo floating past their bed. Yup... the sewer had backed up and her bathroom exploded. The Donkey was good for about three minutes cleaning and then ran gagging upstairs. The Steff donned a haz-mat suit and went into her OCD mode and cleaned all that shit up. There are some times when I am just glad I am me... and that was definately one of those times.
Have a good weekend!