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Sunday, November 26, 2006

• It's nice to know that Greg is a concerned citizen. He joins the many others out there who will call 911 with the more interesting sightings... which usually lead to the more interesting calls. Thanks Greg for keeping us interested.
• The Mass Transit Surfing Subway Blogger had a story about a disabled man calling 911 to get out of the subway. One small footnote on it... a gurney is called a stretcher and those are NEVER used on stairs. In all likelihood, if the stairchair wasn't used then it was a backboard. No one ever said the smoke eating rubber ducks were smart.
• The guest post debut of HATE happened over at IT2M. Personally... I'm all about the lube.
• It turns out that the Christmas Queen is allergic to, of all things, Christmas Trees. She had 5 other weird things about her... but that one just hit me like a fuckton of irony would.
• It turns out that Red Betty has been touched in more ways than the stories of TomKat by the Church of Scientology. The mothership is picking her up on Wednesday.
• There was a lot of talk about giving thanks... although I think Tori had probably the best Thanksgiving. TiVo rules.
• Ever wonder who has the greatest gaming tattoo around? Well it turns out that Newsbitch's tattoo from WOW got ranked 23. Yeah... the judge obviously is stuck playing Nintendo 64 and has had his eyesight impaired by the pixels... it shoulda made the top 5 at least.
• Melanie decided it was time to end a long time affair. I'm happy for her... I just say stay away from those Fudge'em things... they're really kinda gross.
• It has been confirmed that Miss Britt is related to Avitable. She also has plans for world domination.
• Great news from The World of Chad. You can now become a citizen and don't even need to take a test. Illegals all over are flocking to his site... so if you want a spot you better hurry up before they vote Espanol the official language of the world.
  
• Poor Monique had a close encounter with parents trying to be cool. There really needs to be a law against that or something.
• The most important news is the launch announcement of what may become THE BLOG OF THE YEAR. The person who had the scoop, the beautiful and intelligent Miss Ann Thrope, happened to delete all her archives and the initial announcement was lost... but she wuvs me so she put the announcement back. I heart her SO much... and you better too or I'll break your legs.

Labels: Smorgashboard Sunday

Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 11/26/2006 02:43:00 AM :: Permalink :: 7 Bones Added to the Pile

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Sunday, November 19, 2006

Sunday Smorgashboard Edition 2

So here's a bunch of stuff that went on this past week throughout my Blogosphere...

• It has been a whole six months over at Did I Say That?... that's six months of my life I will never get back. What's your excuse?
• On a similar anniversary front The Web Turned 16 this week. There is more to the "Internet" than what you see... but you all knew that, right?
• It turns out geeks are the best thing since The Rabbit to have a relationship with. Avitable dictated it, so it must be true.
• Yet another blogger has been turned to the darkside. That's because we have cookies.
• More details on the whole Retrograde thing were revealed to me by my 'Net Mom. She also says she has a surprise for me that is "smaller than a giant coffee pot but bigger than a pink equaliser."... and even though I was on the phone with her for 90 minutes that night, I forgot to coerce it out of her. Men... we're so stoopid.
• Round 46 over at People You Might Meet On The Internet (PYMMOTI) features a webcam monster. Scary shit. Promise.
• The Blog Snobs vs. Free Platformers debate appeared again. It seems this topic resurfaces every 3 months or so. But she rides a Harley so she's kewl.
• Breigh pointed out that Ann Frank's "tree" is in danger. Is nothing truly sacred anymore? Personally I'd rather see the Pantheon Parking Pavilion before I see this tree go.
• Mr. Fab had a poll up about Nutella. It's the divine food of gods, k? He also pointed out that the 2006 Weblog Awards are accepting nominations. Supposedly these are "legitimate" awards... hence I have no interest in them whatsoever. Maybe you will.
• Monique is doing her holiday card list. E-mail her if you want one. She better include the nudes in mine.
• I saved the most important for last because it will probably be mentioned here again this week along with another charitable cause I strongly support. She's always doing good philanthropic stuff. You all should be more like her.

.:*:.

So I seriously need to relay this story before I forget it. Yesterday I went with The Steff and Zooted and Polluted to the local AC Moore Craft Store. It turns out they were having a sale, and The Steff had these coupons for 50% off a regularly priced item. Now we're all about AC Moore and crafty stuff, because even though we're clueless, we like to think we're crafty. Besides... I like their photo frames.

So we go into the store and it is MOBBED. I hate stores. I hate crowded stores even more. Luckily, we're pretty much on the same wave length so it turned from an "Ooooh let's browse" casual trip to a "Get the shit and get the fuck out! NOW BEOTCH!" trip. Scrapbooking aisle was literally 5 minutes to go through thousands of papers and little stickers and addons. The frame aisle took 10 minutes and that's only because Zooted and Polluted kept finding new frames that were "cute". Luckily no one was there for the frames.

We were looking at a nice low 15 minute trip until the walk down the back aisle to the register. The Steff has a shopping kryptonite. Samples. She is a sucker for a free sample. The entire back aisle was lined with sample tables.

First was the candy melter lady who dipped a pretzel into chocolate for her and then told her about all the different things you could dip into chocolate. When she hit Cheez Doodles I had to walk away. Then there was the free ornament station. She made a snowman. Finally, there was the Make Your Own Cookie Stand with the decorations. She made two sugar cookies... one that she said was for me but she ate it too. Zooted was having none of it, and we were just laughing the whole way about chocolate covered Cheez Doodles and The Steff going into a diabetic coma from all the sugar.

Then we got to the register. Now while these free samples are The Steff's kryptonite, she will rarely buy the product unless it is outrageously good. Apparently the woman in front of us did not have as strong a willpower. She had literally 25 tubes of the decorative frosting. Additionally... she had around 15 tubes of acrylic paints. In fact (see where I'm going yet?) those tubes look ALOT alike.

So... I have decided I will avoid working Queens this week. Why? Because if I get the call for the "Acrylic Consumption Poisoning" I most certainly will be bitch slapping that woman into next week. It isn't a question of if it will happen. It is just a question of when.

Labels: Smorgashboard Sunday

Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 11/19/2006 12:53:00 AM :: Permalink :: 9 Bones Added to the Pile

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Sunday, November 12, 2006

The Sunday Smorgashboard

So it seems Sundays are just a time to give you a bunch of information that I find interesting. So here's a bunch of stuff I find interesting:

• Dawn has discovered that she doesn't have an accent. In a way I feel really bad for her... I think she wanted one.
• KG finally discovered that eating ice is NOT normal. It may mean she's anemic. Next time I tell her something isn't normal... maybe she'll listen. *SNORT*
• T finally made a post. It's confirmed... she's a wackjob magnet.
• The 'Net Mom has a new neighbor. She sounds like my type. Thigh highs... *SWOON*... I am a huge leg man.
  
• It seems RockyJay is moving in on my turf. He has a date with Britney. I wonder if this means I have to worry about her turning into a lesbian too or just cheating on me? WTFeva k bitch?
• Luin just realized that Wal*Mart is evil. Yeah... she's probably suffering from that missing time syndrome again but at least she explains WHY they are evil.
  
• Soda is watching the Star Wars sextology. No you perverts... that isn't where C-3PO lubes up Leia and Obi-Wan does the Jedi Cum Trick on Padme. That's all 6 Star Wars movies shown in order. I've already done it by DVD... but it is playing in the background.
• It turns out that UPS delivers stuff to the wrong house. Big surprise here folks... they ARE dressed in brown for a reason (to hide the drool). I feel for Denise in trying to deal with it. Next time use FedEx.
• The savage nature of racoons has been revealed by Mr. Fab. They're just pissed because I had to cut the payroll on my animal porn when he won the King of Porn award.
• Betty is seeing some awesome shows. I thought I was a pro at concert going... but she has made it apparent she is. I bow down in worship.
• Finally... Joe figured out why we dogs chase the pussy. We think they're chew toys. Nobody said we were smart.

Isn't it just typical that you find other people more interesting than yourself??? No huh? Well... I do.

.:*:.

Christine and I had coffee tonight. I think I was supposed to go see that Borat movie with The Donkey and The Steff... but they never called and coffee is always a good thing over being the third or fifth wheel in a movie. In our conversation we talked about that thing she calls a husband and how he doesn't appreciate her. It struck a bit of a chord with me because there was an extremely similar discussion earlier in the week that I was a part of. So I told her the sad truth... men suck at showing appreciation. Even when women tell us how we feel 27 times we still won't get it. On the 28th time, when those divorce papers are in our hands, that's when we get it.

Christine laughed about it and said, "Well at least you can admit it." Mmmm... yeah I can because I've been there. What's worse? If I ever end up in a relationship again, I'd probably be the same way. Do I think ALL guys are like this? No of course not... but those guys who aren't like that are usually gay anyway so what's the point?

We also talked about the all important Christmas Cards. She's doing a picture of her and her daughter this year... which I am grateful for. Any card she sent with HIM in the picture I usually either covered HIM with a cut-out of myself or colored HIM in with a sharpie. No... I'm not acrimonious towards HIM... really.

So I am still torn about what card to send. I told her about a few card ideas I had... but ever since the divorce it just seems weird to be sending out pictures of either all the wolves or just DJ. Last year I did two... one with all the wolves that went out to just family and one of me getting patted down by Big Jay in Texas that went out to friends. Everyone liked the one from Texas... but I really haven't gone anywhere this year where I could get molested by a 400 pound man on the hood of a State Trooper car.

So I am still undecided about what kind of Christmas Cards to send out even though Christine came up with a few cool ideas... but at least two of them would require me finding girls willing to be half-naked in public and another might get me thrown in jail for the potential of terrorist activities (think Rockefeller Center, a gas can, and a Zippo... only she could think of it) against an icon of the United States. I have trouble finding just ONE girl to get naked and I'd rather smoke a Cuban than to be in Cuba. Go figure. Any ideas? I actually have a lot to send out this year.

Labels: Smorgashboard Sunday

Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 11/12/2006 12:26:00 AM :: Permalink :: 6 Bones Added to the Pile

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