A Pile of Dog Bones

“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Sunday Smorgashboard Edition 2

So here's a bunch of stuff that went on this past week throughout my Blogosphere...


So I seriously need to relay this story before I forget it. Yesterday I went with The Steff and Zooted and Polluted to the local AC Moore Craft Store. It turns out they were having a sale, and The Steff had these coupons for 50% off a regularly priced item. Now we're all about AC Moore and crafty stuff, because even though we're clueless, we like to think we're crafty. Besides... I like their photo frames.

So we go into the store and it is MOBBED. I hate stores. I hate crowded stores even more. Luckily, we're pretty much on the same wave length so it turned from an "Ooooh let's browse" casual trip to a "Get the shit and get the fuck out! NOW BEOTCH!" trip. Scrapbooking aisle was literally 5 minutes to go through thousands of papers and little stickers and addons. The frame aisle took 10 minutes and that's only because Zooted and Polluted kept finding new frames that were "cute". Luckily no one was there for the frames.

We were looking at a nice low 15 minute trip until the walk down the back aisle to the register. The Steff has a shopping kryptonite. Samples. She is a sucker for a free sample. The entire back aisle was lined with sample tables.

First was the candy melter lady who dipped a pretzel into chocolate for her and then told her about all the different things you could dip into chocolate. When she hit Cheez Doodles I had to walk away. Then there was the free ornament station. She made a snowman. Finally, there was the Make Your Own Cookie Stand with the decorations. She made two sugar cookies... one that she said was for me but she ate it too. Zooted was having none of it, and we were just laughing the whole way about chocolate covered Cheez Doodles and The Steff going into a diabetic coma from all the sugar.

Then we got to the register. Now while these free samples are The Steff's kryptonite, she will rarely buy the product unless it is outrageously good. Apparently the woman in front of us did not have as strong a willpower. She had literally 25 tubes of the decorative frosting. Additionally... she had around 15 tubes of acrylic paints. In fact (see where I'm going yet?) those tubes look ALOT alike.

So... I have decided I will avoid working Queens this week. Why? Because if I get the call for the "Acrylic Consumption Poisoning" I most certainly will be bitch slapping that woman into next week. It isn't a question of if it will happen. It is just a question of when.


Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 11/19/2006 12:53:00 AM :: :: 10 Bones Added to the Pile

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