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Tuesday, January 31, 2006Brokeback Mountain and IzzyNormally Monday’s are a day filled with anxiety and stress as the first day of the work week usually leads into a restless night of sleep. Last night however went a little bit differently. First of all, I left work at 6:45pm as opposed to my normal 9:00pm. Not only did I leave early… but I left out of uniform. Then, instead of going to my normal haunts, I went and picked up Izzy. Together we went to a theater in Astoria… and we saw… GASP… Brokeback Mountain aka The Kissing Cowboy Movie. This is not a movie I would normally see in the theaters, but, I was with Izzy. As a movie, it was good. As some rave ideological film it has been made out to be, well, I’m really not feeling it. Don’t get me wrong, the acting was great. Heath Ledger for all his worth finally put out a solid performance since The Patriot. Sure there were some torrid guy on guy scenes where I thought about covering my eyes, but really, I don’t think they were that big of a deal. I think what was more compelling was the back story. Not so much the relationship between Jack and Ennis… but really the effect that it had on their families. Let’s face it, there is a higher level of awareness regarding the homosexual lifestyle including discrimination and violence against it. Parental disapproval has been well documented in a number of places. What the homosexual community itself continues to keep in the closet is the effect it has had on the lives of those heterosexuals who were unwilling partners in a sexual orientation cover up. The self destruction of Ennis’ family is the prime example of that which is rarely spoken of. There was light at the end of the tunnel for Alma (Elma?) though… she did remarry and his daughters seemed to turn out alright. Today was also the announcement of the Oscar Nominations. So, with Brokeback Mountain leading the pack, the levels of awareness continue to expand for the gay community. Hopefully, people will be able to see past the exterior of the film, and awareness will grow of the other victims of sexual orientation bias… those that were used as shields. Now that I’m through with the political piece, on with the drama. Last we saw Izzy, I had left her standing in the cold for over an hour and without a kiss. You will all be happy to know that the temperature in New York has been unseasonably mild… and that yes… I kissed her. Well… okay… she kissed me first… at hello. During the movie we held hands and rested atop each other. After the movie… more kissing. Whatever nerves I had disappeared, and for the first time in a very very very long time… I was relaxed. After saying goodnight to her last night, I couldn’t get her out of my mind. Sure enough… she called me when I got home… and she was the last thing I heard before going to sleep. Luckily… I saved a voicemail she left me from the other night… and so this morning I listened to it when I first got up… so she was the first thing I heard this morning (well, right after the alarm clock). Let’s face it, she makes me feel like I haven’t felt in a long time… alive… and it is a feeling I had truly missed. So Stephanie over at Mystickal Incense & More has turned me onto The Big Red Dot. It is a simple notion... don't press the button... Get game codes for your MySpace ...I know you want to... I know you did... Monday, January 30, 2006When We Were Liars, Things Were Seamless: An Open Letter to MarkMy friend Monique had an issue with her boyfriend Mark. For those of you who don't know Monique from When We Were Liars, Things were Seamless... well you're missing out on a great blog... and more importantly a great person. So it turns out Mark dumped her. She basically wrote him a bit of a note here at When We Were Liars, Things Were Seamless: An Open Letter to Mark which you all should read and remember. In my opinion... this guy is an idiot. I don't think I'm the only one in thinking this. As if I need to further prove my point... See, guy's like this for whatever reason can't be upfront and honest. Because they act like lying rotten children, guys like me get set-up and put into the same category along the same lines as them. Hence... why I hate fudge. If you like the girl... tell her. If you don't like the girl... tell her that too! Don't come out with this pathetic "Whoa is me... I am so miserable... and even though I've found a dozen girls who might make me happy I won't be happy... because I love being miserable... whoa is me" crap. He's an emo sado-masichist and there is no denying it. Someone's going to say, "Oh, but his job must be so hard... his favorite patient died! Oh poor him." Bullshit. If you can't take the stench of rotting flesh, the sight of eviscerated guts, the feel of a pulverized chest beneath your hands, then get out of the business. Oh wait... this idiot worked IN the hospital... by that time he got them they were all nice and clean and in a controlled environment. Right... so much to be sad over. Maybe if he worked on a lance he'd grow a sack and be able to tell her how he really feels. Do I sound pissed? I am. Why? Well... aside from the fact I feel horrible because I technically backed this idiot but Izzy and I have been having a somewhat hard time around similar subjects. Then this fool just continues to prove to me why men suck... oh... AND I'M A MAN! So yes... I suck too... but at least I suck better than this idiot. So look... Mark... I know your in the Mid-West... but let's just get something clear... don't come to New York... in fact... avoid the East Coast... because if you don't... well... we have a date... you, me, AND MY UNCLE LOUISEVILLE AND HE'S GONNA BREAK YOUR FREAKING LEGS!!! *SIGH* Anyway... Monique... on behalf of the male gender... I apologize... and don't lose the faith... or fall over to the "dark side"... one day you'll find someone worthy of you... Look to the right. See the My Current Renter Box... yes... that's the one... and yes... I have a New Renter. Ms. Bloggin' Bizatch has rented from me for the week. I STRONGLY suggest you check her blog out. She is witty... sarcastic... timely... and she's pretty damn cute too... especially in the Dr. Seuss hat. I'm sure you'll find her as interesting as I do... and if you remember the Kids Incorporated Theme Song you can be her best friend. Me? I remember the show... and the cute little brunette I thought I would marry from the show... but to be honest... not the song. Although I'm sure at the time I was gyrating my hips like MC Hammer. Saturday, January 28, 2006Life Status... Yes, I Am Alive
Enter Life Status... a website that can show you the theoretical pulse status of any registered user. The way it works is really cool. What you do is log in to their website, and ever log in is documented and then a clock starts. After 14 days without a log in your status is now listed as Possibly Alive, after 30 days you become Possibly Dead, after 60 days you are now listed as Probably Dead, and finally after 90 days you become listed as Presumed Dead. Life Status is a side project of one guy who nostalgically still calls himself a Sysop (ah... the good old days of dial up BBS) but offers a few different website icon options. I have decided to use this system and have listed an icon in the sidebar here amongst a few other placed. This way... if for some reason I stop posting... and 90 days passes by... well... send those flowers... and let the police know it was Pudding in the library with the candlestick. Friday, January 27, 2006The One Hundredth Post, The Biggest Bone of Them All
So… with all that said and done… thanks for reading… thanks for being a bud and picking through the pile… and hopefully I’ll see you again at post 250… and then THAT will be the Biggest Bone of Them All. -The NYCWatchdog Blogs Are For Wimps is actually a really cool example of team blogging. They recently made some changes, because before there was this thing where it was "best seen using xxxx" and I generally don't care for those type of sites. I'm a big believer in universal rendering, and making your site as user friendly to as many browsers as possible. That's my personal feelings... and recently... after getting smacked by the lovely ladies at IT2M.com, that's what they did. So kudos to them... So for those of you who don't remember, I had a little contest of seeing who could tell me what type of coffee Stephanie Davies' drank. Well, Luin from Faerytale Dreams was the only person with the correct answer... double mocha caramel cappuccino... so Luin and her website are being featured on the BE Banner Exchange on my latest banner for 5,000 impressions. The link itself goes to a post on her blog that talks about my blog. I am very partial to banner advertising. I suppose it is a hold over from the old LE system for my previous websites. This was my first attempt at an animating banner since, oh, maybe 1998? I don't think it came out too bad... Thursday, January 26, 2006My Favorite Renter, Dinner With Izzy, and Marvelous MarvinI’m still in recovery phase from the last two days… hence why as I now look at the clock it is so late but this post hasn’t made it up yet. So before you read the rest… this week’s renter, Stephanie Davies' Mystickal Incense and More Blog is in the last few hours of renting. During this time they have been a great renter, even giving us exclusivity to see the blog change designs. So… please give her a farewell click… and if you really like me, click on her link above in this post and tell her why I deserve to be the winner of her new blog redesign contest. You’ll need to leave the reason in the comments section of the post the above link goes to. So thanks for staying and playing here @ A Pile of Dog Bones Stephanie… and keep on bloggin'. Here’s a big bone for all of you… my date last night with Izzy. Yes… that’s right… it is official… I went out on a date with the latest online chatty. We went to a local Queens restaurant called Donovan’s in Woodside. It’s a nice Irish place with a lot of charm. I had been in and out of their previously with one of my old partner’s for their Shepard’s Pie… which is exactly what I went for last night. However, allow me to start at the beginning. So I did leave work later than I expected. She apparently was already prepared for that, and when I called her wasn’t even dressed yet. So I bounced home for a quick change and a spray of Axe before heading over. To be honest… I made really good time there and ended up outside in the cold for 25 minutes before we were supposed to meet. Then, she was another 10 minutes late… which to be honest is good timing considering she walked. So we go inside and get shoved into a little corner alcolve surrounded by lead lined stained glass and white stucco. The fireplace is blazing, and so we start talking. About what? Well… anything that came to mind. Internet sites we like, common work issues, what we watch on TV (she’s a TiVo girl… my favorite kind), and all sorts of other stuff. She did get to see first hand how my drama affects me. My phone rang, and I thought it was The Nick (who, by the way is not speaking to me because I left work early and did not tell her where I was going) and the first thing I thought was something had gone horribly wrong at work… so I answered. It turns out it was Mel, who called to tell me she was upset over something and she wanted to quit. Once I discerned this fact, I told her very simply, “Mel, remember I love you, and we’ll talk about this tomorrow.” Essentially I shut her down. This is important to remember for later. So we ate dinner by candlelight, I had the aforementioned Shepard’s Pie and she had the baked clams. I drank a black and tan, she drank amaretto and coke. We were a match made in heaven… and although the waitress was grumpy… dinner went off without a hitch. Our after dinner discussion continued to revolve around items out of random… all the while she played with a straw wrapper giggling, and I continued looking around nervously with weak knees. So… finally a cook came out and basically chased us out. So we got outside, and I said I could drive her home. “No. You can walk me home,” was her reply with a smile. Now, remember, she walked there and had dressed in layers. I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt, a short sleeve button down shirt, and a vintage 1993 VYZ black flight jacket (it’s vintage because that was the jacket I wore when I saw Pearl Jam back in 1993). Yet, walked her home I did. During the walk I got a little tour of the neighborhood… and I got to hear about friends and how they were considered traitors for living on the wrong block, bars that had been open but now were gone, and the walk from a closing bar past White Castles on the way to the after hours place. Finally, with the wind whipping around us in a frenzy, we reach her block. So we stand outside of her house. There we talk more… about her family, and what they’re like, and her Christmas lights that stay up all year round (which oddly looked really familiar… kind of like my own Christmas lights at my house in Pennsylvannia… hmmm…). It was cold, and we looked at each other, and there… under the light of the street lamp… Godzilla and Mothra started duking it out in my stomach. I was doing everything not to choke on the moment… and at the same time not to upchuck from my case of Nerves Gone Wild… but in the end, I chose the safe path… and I kissed her hand. Yes… that’s right… after an hour in the cold… I only kissed her hand. Who’s the fool? Well… obviously I am. After she went upstairs I walked back to my truck… and she called my phone to make sure I got there alive. Once in the truck with the heat pumping, she came out and asked me how long it had been since I dated. A real date… mmmm… like a real one on one date… double mmmm… 1999??? Right… and that’s when she told me… when a girl stands in the cold for an hour… she WANTS to be kissed… on the lips!!! Duh! Thank you Godzilla. Thank you Mothra. The travesty. We continued to talk until about 2:00am this morning… and have a tentative date for Monday at the movies. I’m going to put Godzilla and Mothra on a time out for that occasion, get ahold of plenty of chapstick, some of that mouth spray, and do puckering exercises over the weekend to strengthen myself for the experience that I know will be knee wobbling and butterfly shattering. On a final note… while I normally leave this space for the trivial, minute, and entertaining, I can't ignore this. Here is a picture I found on Yahoo! From a press conference today. The paramedic on the right is Marvin Bethea, also known as “Marvelous Marvin the Bee”. Marvin has been a paramedic since before I was even an EMT, working the old 44 William with Eddie McCormack. On September 11, 2001 Marvin was working 46 William with The Viking when he was sent to the WTC Site. He did a number of overtime tours on the site during the cleanup and a number of volunteer tours on the pile as well. His health has been in deterioration ever since, including suffering a stroke while working in November of 2001. The fact remains that the City of New York continues NOT to recognize the disasterous effects on emergency responders who responded that day. While it is too late to help guys like Timmy Keller, it isn't too late to help the rest of them. I say them... but hell... I was there for 48 straight too. Them is really us. This is a wrong that must be righted… because if it’s not… well New York… who’s coming to rescue you next time? Yeah I know... we are... that's why EMS is known as "New York's Dumbest". So be it... and all that cal my little droogie... all that cal. Wednesday, January 25, 2006DO NOT PASS GO!!!Ok... so this morning I will admit I am REALLY SLOW... partially because, well, I'm at work... and mostly because I was out until 3:00am last night with one of my work crews getting hammered. Therefore... if I do anything at all... I must tell you to visit my renter, Mystickal Incense Blog who just did a total facelift. Now... previously it was a very warm maroonish... now... well... just go check it out. Do the right thing... click on the icon on the right... and DO NOT PASS GO OR COLLECT $200.00 UNTIL YOU DO. On one other note... I finally discovered the source of random pop-ups when I blew through on my brother's computer. These free chatterboxes have hidden scripts... needless to say the chatterbox is gone and I have replaced it with a more formal blogroll. Sorry to anyone who got popped while seeing my site... and if it happens again please let me know. I hate pop-ups... I hate them more than spinach. Ouch... my head hurts... Tuesday, January 24, 2006The Steff, The Barista, and 140+ Minutes of IzzyWork has been a killer. It seems everyone over the last two days in New York City has decided they need an ambulance… and they need it now! Of course, to understand the conundrum I speak of, you need to understand a bit about New York City geographically. See, the city itself is divided into 5 county like land masses known as boroughs. Most people identify New York City with the borough of Manhattan. It is after all the home of the Empire State Building, Wall Street, the Chrysler Building, and Madison Square Garden. The other boroughs are the homes of other such landmarks, such as Yankee Stadium in the Bronx, Shea Stadium in Queens, Coney Island in Brooklyn, and… well… Staten Island has the ferry. As for healthcare in New York, every borough has designated trauma centers and specialty sites as well as a wealth of clinics and doctors. Jacobi Hospital in the Bronx is one of the premiere hospitals… although one would never guess it. It is a level 1 trauma center, has a barriatric unit, but it also houses the only city snake bite antidote unit… seeing as how it is only a mile away from the Bronx Zoo makes it more understandable. What most people don’t realize, is everyone in the outer boroughs ends up going to see the “specialist” in Manhattan… and everyone in Manhattan usually goes to the “premier” doctors in the outer boroughs. In other words… we are constantly doing the inter-borough shuffle. So amidst all this, here I sit, trying to get a simple blog entry in. It really almost didn’t happen again, mainly because I got sidetracked with an article about another blogger I already mentioned… but no one should think because the boroughs burn with calls that the drama comes to a halt! So, yesterday Izzy called me cute. This was over an IM in the afternoon… and I was elated. Of course, she basically deflated me by saying how she felt I was funny, amusing, and a clown to her kind of cute. Right. So after feeling like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer for about ten minutes, I then wanted to tell her to get her shine box. Last night I was supposed to call her from AC Moore where she wanted yarn and I had some frames to pick-up for some holiday photos. Of course, as I was about to leave work, a crisis occurred. After three hours in dealing with it, I finally made it to where I could head home. So I called… and it rang 10 times. So I raced… ate probably around 5 lights on Pennsylvania Avenue, and got home in time to catch her online. She was doing something… probably talking to another cyber buddy… and said she’d call me in fifteen minutes. I of course said no problem. After logging off I grabbed some spaghetti and sat down to watch some wrestling. A minute later… Breaking the Habit is coming from my phone. Steff. She had just gotten home from work and had some questions about a protocol that had come up. Of course, she called me, because whether people realized it or not, my partner Freakzilla and I have been responsible for causing a number of protocol changes over the years due to our “extraordinary interpretation and resourcefulness” while working in the field. That line actually appears seven times in our Department of Health files. Yes… the NYSDOH keeps a file on me. Nice to know I’m loved by bureaucrats the world over. So I explain to her why the protocol says what it says, and the ways to document around it… since it is one I have not yet had the opportunity to alter… and we talk briefly about life. She hasn’t called Crumb… and inside I am grateful as all hell… but she’s really still stuck on him and the New Guy just ain’t cutting it. She asks me what’s wrong… and I’m watching the clock… denying anything is wrong and basically trying to yawn signaling I need to be asleep. She relents and we say goodnight. I put the phone down. A minute later… Rescue Me is coming from the phone. Barista. After the usual “Hello my munchkin” banter, we get to the heart of the matter. She wants me to work on her resume AND get her a job at a hospital where I’m friends with one of the bosses. How does she devise all this? Well… because it’s where The Steff now works… and her new boss being my friend. In 12 years in this business I have made 3 personal recommendations in my entire career. Why? Because I do have somewhat of a reputation to maintain regardless of what people may think. So if you’re not X, Freakzilla, or The Steff… get it on your own. After telling her this nicely… she continues to yap about how horrible her life is and so on. I listen to her complaining about the boyfriend who is moving out, and her whining about work, and her bitching about Jen the Red and if it was her asking I would give it to her (which… as much as I love Jen the Red… nope, sorry, nada, nunca, nyet). Finally… she gives up after 17 minutes… and moves on to harass whoever is left on her list. Then, I put the phone down, and just as I’m about to start eating… here comes 1,2 Step from the phone. Finally. Izzy. So last night’s phone call was 141 minutes and 49 seconds according to my cell phone timer. Not too shabby for a guy who traditionally doesn’t talk if I do say so myself. Our range of topics ran the gamet from who’s playing in the Superbowl to why I’ve been more emotional over the last few days than normal. So, finally, at 1:30 this morning… we said goodnight. So today, I come back to my desk to see an IM from her… and she’s flipping. Losing her mind over something that happened. Now, I admit, I was pretty damn needy yesterday… and had been looking forward to another day of neediness… but I figured I better turn around and be the man for a change. So… I think I was. I told her my opinion… and more importantly listened to what she had to say. After some serious thinking… I gave her how I felt about it in a way I think she understood. In the end… guess what? Well… she had needed a drink tonight… but I’m on my way to a CPR Refresher (which is SO stupid… but I need to do it for my other state certs)… so instead… it’s going to be dinner tomorrow night. Imagine? I actually have a date… well… I think it’s a date… I mean… I never really asked if it was a “date” date… did I have to? Isn’t it? Oh boy… now I’m starting to hyperventilate… well… anyway… there it is… I have a date for dinner tomorrow night with a girl who giggles. And that just makes my freaking knees weak. I’m not quite sure how I feel about this story about a blogger named ivwoman. It seems she was a Paramedic in Plymouth, and had a blog that contained some pictures and some off color remarks. I suppose the whole reason why is because of the lot of questions surrounding patient privacy as it is. The examples they gave really don’t tell me anything about how a patient’s privacy was invaded. I would think the clearest one would be the picture of the bed because it is inside the residence. Is this a violation of patient privacy? Not really… but it is a violation of Privacy Laws in general. The First Amendment has never been construed to accord newsmen immunity from torts or crimes committed during the course of newsgathering. The First Amendment is not a license to trespass, to steal, or to intrude by electronic means into the precincts of another's home or office. I suppose the reason why I even question this whole thing is because I too have freelanced as a photographer at fire scenes and on most notable car wrecks besides the pictures I took in a few relatively notorious disaster zones. In fact, I had a few pictures with my new camera I was thinking about posting here just as some examples of what we get to see everyday that to most people is surreal. Well… this gives me reason enough to pause before doing so… because even though the pictures I take are taken usually when I’m either off or volunteering… the fact they terminated her employment when they are not even sure the pictures were real makes me wonder if my employer would do the same even if they were taken while not in their employ. Monday, January 23, 2006She Called Me CuteSo today… Izzy called me cute. Yep, she called me cute. Now keep in mind… she has never met me. We’ve spoken on the phone just that one 190 minute marathon… and of course our IMs… and we have seen photos of each other… but we’ve never met. Yet… today… she called me cute… Sunday, January 22, 2006The Wolves, The Steff, and Unconditional ThingsSo the wolf watching went well. Of course, once I arrived I had to throw a box of Ferro Rochere's to them so I could make the dining room. Pudding was her usual self... doing her twenty-seven outfit changes. I was my usual self, telling her how beautiful she looked in twenty-six of them. I'll never tell her that on the first one no matter what it is... simply because I don't care. She should be asking her new beau how she looks and stop asking me... especially since I was getting set for a round of Risk. So there was plenty of Ed'Edd'N'Eddy and Risk and some Chutes and Ladders. The whole pack was asleep by 11:00pm. Of course Pudding doesn't reappear until 2:00am. Only two and a half hours later than she had originally said. So I figure my night's shot. I'll go home and get some sleep before my 9:00am dentist appointment. On the way though, I send The Steff a text. She did call me when she said she would... which in and of itself is amazing... and I did tell her I would let her know when I was done wolf watching. Sure enough... 15 minutes later my phone rang. So it turns out that she was home. She had gone out at 11:00 with a few people from my current workplace, her former workplace, but they all had work in the morning so they had abandoned her by 12:30. She asked if I wanted to hang out, so I said sure. I swung by 7-11 and grabbed a dozen Bud Lights and went over to her house. So at 3:00am there I am in her kitchen, drinking a Bud Light, smoking a stoge, and guess what the topic of conversation is? Yep... my second favorite person in the whole world... Officer Fucking Crumb. Now keep in mind I have never met this one celled organism she called a boyfriend... not once in the two years we've been friends. Why? Because of a combination of the fact that he's anti-social, I want to do him bodily harm, and she probably never mentioned to him that I was a friend. See, that was his issue... he was controlling and possessive. Meanwhile, she's a social butterfly if there ever was one. So my number in her cell phone got explained away as me being her supervisor. Yet now here she is telling me about how she can't get her mind off him. Here Steff, have another beer. She's telling me the New Guy just isn't cutting it especially with his new hours. Here, have another beer. She's telling me about how Crumb is sending her random text messages saying how he misses her and blah blah blah. Okay, now I need another beer. She's telling me about all this stuff... and after two hours I did the unthinkable. I cracked. I told her maybe she should call him. I know I shouldn't have said it, but I did. I did pre-cursor that advice by reminding her that I hate him and want to cause him bodily harm... but in the end that's still what I told her. Into the third hour I tried to explain to her about The Notebook, which she had watched. To me the real lesson in The Notebook is about unconditional love. Noah loves Ally unconditionally, no matter what she did and no matter what happened to her. In the end, their unconditional love carries over into the next world when they die together (yes, for those of you who don't realize, they die together at the end). Is that the type of love Crumb gives her? Absolutely not... and I think after the next beer she realizes this... I hope. So at 5:30am the topic finally changes... to Izzy. I tell her about the 190 minutes and she was shocked. She didn't know I could talk so much. There was the standard Q&A that lasted until 6:00am... and then as she began nodding off at the table, I told her goodnight, she told me to call her when I got up, and I left. I got home, slammed into bed and was up two hours later for the dentist. I spent 45 minutes getting the upper right side of my mouth torn apart. Then, I went home and went back to bed. So I got up at 3:00pm today (Saturday really). I showered, shaved, and called The Steff. She was hungry, so we went and picked up her friend Maris from work and went to Friday's. Maris, I may have mentioned before or maybe not, also has men issues. So we had dinner, discussing various man issues and moments. Then The Steff let's Maris in on Izzy. The lights in Friday's went out... a spotlight lowered from the ceiling driectly onto me... and Maris' inquisition began. When she was done, the lights came back up, and she neatly put away her torture devices. Talk about intense! We paid the bill and I dropped the two of them off at The Steff's house... Maris was doing dye jobs tonight before they went out to some club with The Nick... and although I desperately need mine done I moved on. So I came home, and for four hours tried to recreate the other nights writing success. Well... I did and I didn't. The other night I did something like 5,000 words. Tonight I started, stalled, continued, stalled, and finished at 2,417. Not nearly as well as the other night but at least it wasn't a total brick wall. At 11:00pm I bounced over to the Wine Bar on Austin Street and met up with my old partner Lainie and her girlfriend. I had a nice bottle of a Blackberry Merlot while we discussed the intricacies and politics of the ever evolving NYC EMS system and the potential for more hurricane deployments. At 2:00am we parted ways... and here I am... sitting at the only computer connected to the 'Net that just happens to operate on Windows 1974. I'm hoping to go to the movies tomorrow/today. Maybe get a chance to walk around B&N... and maybe just relax. All this drama can be tiring afterall... Friday, January 20, 2006I Have A New Renter!!!I was really surprised to see the bids I had tonight on the whole Rent-My-Blog Campaign at BE tonight. I think what shocked me more, was to see The Mystickal Incense & More Blog as a bidder. I actually found Mystickal Incense & More early last week, and I'm working on a story for her currently running Spooky Girl story contest... which is something you all should definately check out. Now, before everyone starts ASS-U-ming that the author and proprietor Stephanie Davies is "The Steff" in disguise... stop your madness. She's from Missouri... I'm from New York. I haven't been in Missouri since October... which would have made it hard to have Stephanie from Mystickal as a coffe buddy. However, since her blog is FANTASTIC, I'm sure she'd make an AWESOME coffee buddy. So do me the solid, look to your right, and click on the icon... and whoever tells me what type of coffee she drinks will be featured for 5,000 impressions on my next BE Banner!!! Thanks. 190 minutes was the call timer at the end of the phone call from Izzy last night. Yes, that's 11,400 seconds or 3 hours and 10 minutes of my life I probably will never get back... nor would I trade them for anything. So... I guess maybe we do have things to talk about. First, let me say that it was actually longer. Allow me to explain. We IMed each other last night for probably around an hour. Once again, I told her about the 10 minutes it would take to get out of the building and the 20 minutes to get home. So of course she calls 5 minutes later as I'm saying goodnight to my dispatch wolves. I don't know her phone number, and my phone is used more for work than social, so I answer it. Basically the first few minutes went like this: Me: "Big Doggy's Kitty Kleaners how can I help you?" Izzy: "Hey." Me: "Yes, can I help you?" Izzy: "It's me, Izzabella." Me: "Oh hey, your calling early." Izzy: "No I'm not." Me: "Why it's been 10 minutes already?" Izzy: "Hasn't it?" Me: "No way, give me a sec. Alright, goodnight Vil. Goodnight Kat. Roman if you don't start listening I'm sending you to English as a second language classes. Goodnight Nick (who gave me the "Who the hell are you talking to and why because it isn't me!" look). Goodnight Eli. Goodnight Tim. Goodnight John Boy. You still there and awake?" Izzy: Giggling... Yes, I know... she giggles. There are alot of people who find that annoying... but I have to be honest... my knees got weak. So I meandered down the hallway, down to the floor of the garage, and on into my truck. I pulled up to the OPS Office, went inside, said a round of quick goodbyes, and then continued on while talking to her the whole time. So now I'm driving home and I get onto the Interboro Parkway (currently known as the Jackie Robinson Parkway to the rest of the world... but it will always be the Interboro to me) and some up through Cypress Hills Cemetery. Right there, in the middle of the snake turn, I lost signal and dropped the call. Now an intelligent person would realize there just aren't any cell towers in the cemetery. Not I. I KNOW the dead people are sucking up the cell signals of the living... kinda like energy vampires. So... based on that... as soon as I'm out of the cemetery... I call her back. How? Well, like most cell phones these days I have Caller ID... unlike most people in NYC her number wasn't blocked. So... from Forest Park Drive where the dead people were behind me at approximately 9:00pm... for 190 minutes... we talked. Now I have always said I am better at turning pages than talking. Yet, I think I did more than my fair share. What did we talk about? Well... our lives, our families, stories of past vactions or common locations. We talked about music, movies and collections. We did have some talk about writing... but we stayed away from the * ADULT * topics we had recently been discussing over IM. So... now we have had human contact... well... cellular human contact that is. Today, the board was slammed and she came online. We spoke briefly... nowhere near as long as I would have liked. I hope she understands that every now and then someone decides to do something silly... like die... and I need to make sure they get an ambulance when they need it the most... like 5 minutes prior... and I actually left work on time tonight to go hang with my wolves while Pudding and her new beau go out to dinner. So it's an Ed'Edd'N'Eddy night for me... not sure what she's doing... probably something exciting... like knitting. Of course... this wouldn't be me if there wasn't a little drama. After I got off the phone with Izzy, I brushed my teeth and tossed on my Jammys. I climbed under the covers, and just when I close my eyes... and Breaking the Habit starts blasting through the room. The Steff. So here's that conversation: Me: Hey babe Steff: Hey, did I wake you? Me: No, I'm up. Everything okay? Steff: Yeah. (Ok, bullshit, I know from the yeah it's no goosh) Me: Are you sure? Steff: Yeah, do you wanna go out? Me: Uh (Now keep in mind... I need to be up in 5 hours... and I'm already in my Jammys under the covers... so now I'm thinking in my mind how to say this so she doesn't misunderstand) Steff: Your in bed already aren't you? Me: Uh Steff: Yeah, you are. Me: Yeah (no easy way to put it). Need a wake-up call tomorrow? Steff: Yeah, like 9:00. Night hun. Me: Night babe. So, I called her at 9:00am this morning and got her up. She told me she was going to call me later... but this is The Steff... and she never calls when she says she will. But she did. She called me from work while I was hanging with the wolves. Again the question came up if I could go out, which she knew wouldn't happen since it's kinda hard to keep 5 kids quiet while watching the Cartoon Network. She didn't want to talk... but there's something wrong. I have my money on Officer Crumb. I really really really need to get to those New Year's Resolutions. ... But this Idiot is reviewing and running with serious mental issues. Ontop of this the guy is like a little maniac obsessing over Alexa ratings or something. Who the hell is Alexa??? Why do people take this stuff so seriously? Why is it the end all be all to their existence??? Stop!!! Get a life!!! Get kids!!! Do something other than obsess over a comment made about you 5 months ago!!! IT2M only does reviews on request. Yes... I requested to get beaten like the dirty doggy I am... and I loved every minute of it. This guy seems to just be dropping around, writing stuff, and running. I do not know the people at IT2M, nor have I seen their "other" blogs... hell, I wouldn't doubt it if their mommy blogs or something totally normal and everyday human... but at IT2M they sure are a helluva lot more fun to read for me personally than a blog on cellphones. So... take what they say for what it is... their artistic expression... and allow me to enjoy it without having to worry about some cyber-stalker-psycho taking pot shots at their server. In other words... Celllounge Moron who moderates his comments... DON'T MAKE ME INTRODUCE YOU TO UNCLE LOUISEVILLE!!! Hey... thanks... and have a nice day! Today is the last day for The Panic Blog to be here in my renter's slot. Eric has been a great tenant, and I want to thank him for renting space from my comparable abomination of a blog. So, since today is his last day, be sure to click on the link to your right to go visit him before he goes. Thanks. Thursday, January 19, 2006Another Evening With The IzzySo last night I had to stay a little later at work than usual… mainly because I had overslept yesterday morning and got in about a half hour later. I could have left on time, considering the amount of overtime I put in, but it just isn’t usually my style. Now throughout the day, Izabella was on and off. We had sporadic conversation, mainly revolving around what was going on at work, her daily errands, what I do with my social life, and the fact her chest was hurting her because she came back from a gym session with a new over zealous trainer. So last night, the board is calming down, and up pops the IM “alert”. I don’t use IM alerts. In fact, normally my buddy screen is minimized and my speakers are off so I don’t know if anyone is coming or going. But Izzy had said something to me about that, how she didn’t know if I wanted to keep talking to her because she was always the one who initiated the IM… hence why I setup an alert. Gotta love the advances that have been made in AIM. The alert window flashes, and I send her an IM. So we start talking. The usual variety of topics… a few “adult” themes… and somehow the next thing I know it is like ten o’clock at night. Right… did you hear the smash of glass??? There goes the idea of writing tonight yet once again… right out the proverbial window. Somehow she ends up saying how in ten years she’ll give me her home number. I in return respond that I guessed that means in twenty years we’d finally go out for coffee. There was that nervous tension for a minute… and then I did it. That’s right… I did “it”… I gave her my cell number (cell=mobile for all you British Blokes out there). She then did the most curious thing… she starts asking me if there are limits on how long we talk. Well, the battery does have to be recharged at some point… and calling during work isn’t the greatest in timing… but no, not really. Then she asks the obvious question, when am I not at work? Right… so I told her the basic busy times and everything. I also forewarned her that when I drive, I listen to the radio VERY loudly… which I think she understood. In other words… don’t get upset if you get voicemail when you call… just leave a message or call back later… which I though was a CLEAR indicator that if she wanted to call me, without talking to me, well in twenty minutes that would be the time to do it. Then she asks me if “coffee” is really just “coffee”. My first thought was to say, “No, it means a road trip down the Hershey laden highway with little to no help.”… but I stopped myself, and laughing, told her that “Yes, coffee is just coffee”… because in reality that’s all it is and the fact it could be anything else… well… just seemed ridiculous to me. With that, and a few other admissions on my end of a history of relatively bad phone etiquette, I sign off and head home. Now normally, I get no better thrill than driving with my windows down through East New York playing A System of a Down as loud as possible. However, last night I chose to roll darn near silently with my phone precariously perched on my dash. I got home… climbed into bed… and waited. While waiting, I decided to watch King Arthur. At around 11:20pm my television flickered. I have DirecTV and everytime I get a message or a phone call, the television flickers… but nothing happened. Well, except for the end of the movie and Arthur’s brave stand. So it got me thinking this morning. What is the true nature of meeting people online? Is it so bad out here that “coffee” may actually mean a weird act involving a chicken? At what point is it “safe” to have non-internet contact? When given the opportunity to speak to a live human being, instead of typing to one in a desensitized environment, wouldn’t you take them up on it? Why do we continue to deny ourselves human contact and socialization? Oh, right, because that gets to be even more of a burden. It's harder to hit the sign off button in real life. Maybe I’m reading too much into it… and I know about all the horror stories from teenage kids being stalked by adult predators. Just to make sure, I saved the 5 lines of that IM where she said she was over 18 and not LE… so I think I’m safe there. Then again… I guess we’ll never truly know until 2026… when we finally go out for coffee. Life's A Bitch.... is a blog I found while surfing today. Now, I was actually composing another post, but decided to put this in place first... since they kind of deal with on another. See, there is a link to an On-Line Dating School. In and of itself, it's a very original idea. Considering all the online universities offering courses and classes, an online-dating school seems like a very logical choice... it's just too bad I didn't think of it first. Then again... with my history... I'd be better off setting up an On-Line How NOT To Date School. Wednesday, January 18, 2006Flatline: NYCSo surfing around today inbetween visits to the principal's office and chats with Izzy, I find this blog called Flatline: NYC . Now... at first glance, I get the odd feeling there's someithing wrong here. Ok... 13 Zebra, could be a real unit... but isn't the last time I checked the Matrix. Then, 6 Kilo... absolutely no way. No "K" unit would call themselves "Kilo". Usually it would be "King"... a few wise guys started using "Kenny" when South Park was at the height of popularity. I check out the About link, and it says this blog is a work of fiction... and the author, named Tyson Lewis "is not a paramedic in New York City nor has he ever been involved in Emergency Medical Services in any way." So now my question is... really? I find that hard to believe... with the harsh PARAGOD attitude towards BLS, and some of the more street knowledge only kind of things (like "bagging" a patient)... I think he's full of it saying that. But that's okay brother... hide that white patch behind your mask... but just remember... this is NYC... and in NYC Medics may save lives... but EMTs save Medics... This is a link to by far the Greatest Blonde Joke Ever. Because I have many "blonde" friends, I fear showing it here would endanger my well being... but still check it out if you get the chance! The results are in over at IT2M's 2005 Weblog Awards. Somehow, I wasn't nominated for any of their awards. I would hope though, that they'll keep me in mind for 2006. I did after all tick off Princess Pottymouth and I did give the Bitter One what she wanted after all. Personally, considering the wonderful smacks I received, I think they should have altered the awards a little and just smacked me with the new Drama King Award. What Drama King Award you ask? Right... there isn't one yet... but I want to change that!!! So... to try and garner some support for my plight... please visit my petition to add the Drama King Award and get my name on the ballot! You can click the banner or the link to the petition and it will take you right there. Thanks. So tonight didn’t turn out as I had originally planned. The cold weather here in New York claimed the life of my mother’s car this morning… well, at least until I got home tonight and shocked it back to life with my jumper cables. Now if only my patients were that easy… but I digress. Originally I planned to build on last night’s momentum by leaving work on time. Yes, I was going to leave work on time today, go home, write for the two hours for a goal of 2,500 words or until it was time to get my maternal figure from work, then crash out on my despised futon. Content and happy with my no longer blocked self, I would watch HBO’s showing of Love Actually and maybe get a good nights sleep. Well, I’ve caught about 55 minutes of Love Actually. That was pretty much where the plan got to. Izabella IMed me tonight. The conversation, as is the case with most IMs, started out cordial enough. We talked about mainly food. Well, I asked her if she liked Chinese, and she does. I asked what her favorite dish was, sweet and sour pork, so that’s what I ordered from the restaurant down the block. I hate making decisions like that… I have to make life and death ones all day… can’t someone else decide something for a change? So anyway, we talked for probably around three hours… which was long enough to make me late for mom. Luckily, my mother was working late (gee, do you wonder where I get it from?) which only made me madder because had I known… well I would have continued talking to her. The last few times we spoke things seem to flow relatively naturally… but tonight was almost downright freaky. IMs have about a half-second delay, plus the time you need to factor in to type. I would say at least 4 or 5 times, we either said the same thing or finished each other’s IMs within a quarter of a second. That’s the kind of sick puppy love thing you do with your girlfriend in high school, right? Yeah, I thought so too… but to be honest it felt damn good. Tonight there seemed to be a real connection there… a bond being cemented it seemed. How? Well, she was more open and honest about her life than she had been previously. Of course, I feel that for the most part my life is an open book. I think my pieces all fit… I just may not give you all the pieces right away, I mean what fun is that? I was upfront with her too about similar things. So there’s sharing going on, and bonding going on, and its all good. Jokes start flying back and the next thing I know is everyone is looking at me as I chuckle evily in my cubicle. As if my co-workers didn’t realize I was weird enough… Then she comes out with this thing about The Steff. How she thinks my heart or head belong to her already. Looking back I can understand where that comes from... but The Steff and I have been down that road and decided then it was not the best path for us to take. Next to Christine, The Steff is my best friend. Now that Christine’s gone, well, The Steff is my bestest friend. She is one of four who will always have a piece of my heart… but The Steff and I also have a longer history together than most people realize. Do I love The Steff? Of course I love and adore her and would do anything for her! Will The Steff and I ever be linked together romantically? Of course not! I could never endanger our friendship like that, because if I don’t have Christine… I don’t have The Steff… I don’t have Yum in this world… who will protect me from myself? Pudding? She’d tie the noose for me… so no… I need The Steff... she is the ONLY thing giving me balance in my life right now. Once I explained to the best of my limited ability about the relationship with The Steff, we moved on to some other topics, including writing. She sends me this sample in e-mail while she eats shrimp cocktail. It was only around maybe 5 paragraphs long or so… but it bowled me right over. I was left, quite literally breathless. How can she not be published already? Like a lot of us, she doesn’t feel her writing is good enough. Well, if you want to talk about inferiority complex… wow. I felt so little in such a big world at that moment. I was humbled. So we concluded by swapping photo album links… and I was off rushing to wait for my mom. Of course, after reading her stuff, I wanted to delve right in. Then, I get home, and still have to revive mom’s car. By that time, well Love Actually was on. Then I questioned whether or not to trudge the two flights down… but instead decided to write here on the Windows 74 computer… all 790 something words you see before you. So did I accomplish what I set out to do? Mmmm… yes, I think I did… just not necessarily where I had intended to do it. But now, with Izzy on my buddy list, well I’m sure that is all just a matter of time. Tuesday, January 17, 2006Shopping With The SteffYesterday I did the unthinkable. I left work early. Yes, that’s right, I actually said screw it and left at noon. Now consider the fact that during the year the only two holidays I actually ever take off is Christmas and the Fourth of July. I take Christmas off because, well, it is Christmas after all. I take the Fourth of July off because I was actually born on the Third of July (I missed being a patriot and having fireworks by something like 45 minutes) and that usually means I absolve my extra year in a bottle of Jack Daniels, which therefore leaves me a bit cross-eyed on the Fourth. So yes, I left work early. Driving down Pennsylvania Avenue, I really wasn’t sure what I was going to do with myself. So I started making the calls. Kev answered his phone but was working. The Nick didn’t answer her phone, left a voicemail about going to IHOP. Barista was working, left a voicemail about stalking current Starbucks Employees with evidence of their love for Dunkin’ Donuts. The Steff didn’t answer her phone, left a voicemail about going to BJ’s Wholesale which is next to Old Navy on Erskine Street where she had wanted to go shopping for work clothes. The X-man didn’t answer, and there wasn’t a machine to leave a message. So, I decided no one else has done the unthinkable and I just go home and relax. Around 1:30 The Steff calls me back. She just woke up. She’s also off for the day, and is down to go shopping. So I pick her up at 2:30. In classic The Steff fashion she’s wearing blue jeans, a pink sweatshirt, a white vest with a furry collar, and her furry brown boots. She hands me back The Notebook DVD I lent her, and tells me how she cried her eyes out. She has gift certificates from Christmas to Sephora and Victoria’s Secret which she wants to use, so we decide to go to Austin Street instead. Of course there is a Barnes & Noble on Austin so I’m down with that. I am extremely familiar with Austin Street, having started my EMS career with the Forest Hills Volunteer Ambulance Corps. Usually we would park at Continental Avenue and Austin Street, a place we called “Hollywood & Vine” due to the large amounts of human traffic and entertainment we would find there. Being surrounded by the private corporate streets of The Forest Hills Gardens and zoning laws that have remained unchanged, Austin Street has remained a center of commerce nostalgic of old time Main Street with independent shops and stores. In fact, the only true “mega” store is the Barnes & Noble, and that is at the far end of the strip. So I catch a good parking spot on Continental Avenue and of course we end up scrambling for quarters. Once the hour and twenty minute parking time is secured, a shopping we go. Now honestly, this is the first time The Steff and I have specifically gone shopping. My ex hated going shopping with me. Usually I know what I want before I even go into a store, and things that catch my attention I’ll look at quickly and either it’s a yes or a no and I move on. Well, as luck would have it, apparently The Steff shops the same way. First it was a shoe store, we walked in, looked at a few shoes and some boots, she tried nothing on, and we moved out. Then it was to Sephora, up and down the aisles with a sniff here and a sniff there, nothing catching her eye and boom we’re out again. Now it’s into another clothing store, there are some nice dresses she looks at, but once again nothing she tries on and nothing she’s in love with so off we go. Conversation is sporadic revolving around the stores, her new job, but she seems somewhat distracted. The next store is Victoria’s Secret. Well, The Steff went in but I waited outside. Let’s face it, that store is not a store for women. It really is a candy store for men. For me to go into the candy store, and not have a reason to buy any candy, well that would be a little too much for me… and going in with The Steff would have been way over tempting. So I stood outside a smoked a cigarette (right, New Year’s resolution, I’m working on it, really). Now it takes me about 5 minutes to smoke one, and no sooner had I tossed it to the ground but she was back out. What a woman! Then we end up at Bang-Bangs, which is a sort of club kid wear store. So she finds a shirt she likes, and a sweater… off to the changing room. Within a minute she’s showing me the first shirt, a green sheer clingy thing. She looks great, and I tell her so. Then she’s back in and out 30 seconds later with the sweater, no good in her mind but she looked fine to me, so I go and grab her the next size. She’s happier, and to be honest, it looked the same to me so I nod my agreement. Then boom, off to the counter and out we go. Our next stop is a boot store at the very end of Austin Street by the church. We walk in, and the clerk and a woman are talking about how there would be such a huge market for leather good certified to be made from “found or sick” dead animals. The woman specifically names “cancer” as a great source of such leather. Right… I look at The Steff… she looks at me… and we leave. I would NOT wear any leather item that I consciously know came from a cancerous animal. So now we head to the other side of Continental Avenue, the Barnes & Noble side. We stop at one shoe store where once again, it’s a quick in and out. Then across the street to the Bootery. She finds a boot she likes, asks if they have it in her size… the clerk tells her no, and boom we’re out again. On the next block she sees her friend Alex in the window of the gym working out and runs in to say hi. I once again smoke a cigarette… and I’m not even done before she’s back out. So now we go to the GAP. Now I have always had a deep rooted hatred of the GAP (so deeply I refuse to even link to it), mainly because they NEVER have my size (I’m a big guy after all). She’s once again up and down the aisles and here is where she makes her announcement that shocks and awes me with the statement, “I’m trying to lighten up my wardrobe, it seems like all I have is black.” Right… ok… this coming from the girl in the pink sweatshirt with the white snow bunny vest. So it’s a pair of jeans… which I thought looked DAMN good on her, but she wasn’t feeling them… and out we go again. Now it’s across the street to Mandees. Here we get to the dress socks she so desperately needs. See, The Steff has a thing for socks… the weirder the better. Unfortunately, where she works now, those socks aren’t doing the job. But once again… she grabbed five pairs for $12.00 and she’s ready to go out the door. Then she stops. See, Mandee’s has this rack next to the register with nostalgia candy and stuff. Well she spotted a box of mints with the Happy Bunny on it, with the word Poison scratched off and the words Mints For Friends scrawled on top. She went back for it. Okay, it only took fifteen seconds, so that is easily forgiven. Finally we make it to B&N, and here’s where I basically took the lead, and hit the magazine rack. Grabbed the new issues of Writer’s Digest and Scrye, and off to the register. That’s when it happened. The reveal of what’s been going on in her mind and why she seemed so distracted: “Hey, you know you should write another book,” she says to me as we walk through the aisle of the ropes to the checkout.So there it is… she’s rehooked on Officer Crumb. After some more conversing on the topic, she reveals that the New Guy had his hours changed and while he’s still a nice guy… well he does have some things she’s not crazy about. So we joke some more about it… how we could make it into a trilogy… and call it something like “The Scrapbook” in imitation of The Notebook. So we laugh about it… but inside I know she’s sick about the whole thing... and truth be told now I'm twisted over it too. I really need to get working on those New Year's resolutions. So we move on from B&N and jump back into the truck to go to BJ’s Wholesale. We get there and I get on the line for the membership while she goes and grabs us two pretzels. They take this horrendous picture of me, print me out my new membership card, and now we’re off to the CD Players. I just want a CD player for where I have my new computer set-up at home. Something simple, which I find in cherry red for $30.00. We then go looking at some exercise machines and some organizers she thinks she may need for her shoes, but then once again we’re at the checkout. On the way out of BJ’s we go to Sam Goody. I grab the new Depeche Mode and The Offspring Greatest Hits Album; she grabs Mariah Carey and Green Day. Another record breaking in and out, and we’re back in the truck heading towards her house. So I drop her off, and she says she’ll call me later, which of course she won’t… because she is The Steff. But as she leaves I look at the clock. It’s 5:30. This amazes me. I went to more stores, and accomplished more things with The Steff in 3 hours than I ever did with my ex-wife in 3 years. So here’s the most important part of everything. I went home… plugged in my new radio… and proceeded to write 5,000 words in the story I’m currently suffering a block on (and no, it isn’t the story of The Steff’s life). I don’t know why this suddenly broke. I’m not sure why yesterday of all days I was able to sit there and with clarity pound out the words I wanted to say. Maybe it was the music. Maybe it was the fact that I was home early enough to stay awake to do it. Maybe… just maybe… it was The Steff. Looking at this entry… wow… maybe this is the beginning of the end of the block after all. Thanks babe. Monday, January 16, 2006Cold Snap, Izabella Is Over 18, Plastic Crack and My Love of All Things WolfNew York has been pummeled under a sudden cold snap. It happened so quick, that the rain Saturday night turned into Sunday morning snow. Not good weather to be out in… hence I stayed home with DJ watching some Bob the Builder re-runs and trying to conquer Chicken Little on Xbox. I did get some other things done yesterday. Most notable I spoke to Izabella online. We had one of those two hour conversations which ranged from what we had respectively done Saturday to the relative question of conversational topics. Basically… at what point do you know someone enough to talk about “adult” topics. IM relationships have never really been my strong point. Sure there are smilies, and the usual acronyms, but nothing really tells you how a conversation is going except for body language and tone… both items which are lacking in IMs unless webcams and VOIP is utilized. The conversation we had, while tame in concept, raises a bigger issue. The de-humanization that occurs over the internet is something that we, as a generation (being Generation X) more than any other, have needed to learn how to cope and deal with. Nothing quite sums it up though as my most important question, “Are you over 18? Are you a cop?”. Luckily, she answered yes and no respectively… and I could carry on the conversation without fear of having ESU blow through my door. I also did some old school journaling yesterday. Well… more like recollecting and reorganizing. I’ve put together all my notes from New Orleans with the pictures specifically from there. My next task will be to re-organize my Texas items. Then comes the task of trying to rework it all to form an outline for the memoir I want to write. Of course, with my luck, I’ll probably have three more deployments under my belt before I get done writing about these two. Today, although it is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, I’m still at work. I did send my queries in for Scrye Issues #95/#96. I didn’t query for any new games though… I really haven’t had the time to invest in any or play any… although I will be getting a case of MW:Domination next week. Now THAT will be well worth a day off from it all. I am long overdue for a dose of my favorite plastic crack. My Love of All Things Wolf Personally, I just want to get the MAD CAT IV from Anastasia Kerensky's Wolf Hunters. I've always ahd a love for all things Wolf Dragoons, and then by extension Clan Wolf, which by further extension the Steel Wolves, and now the fifth Wolf unit line (sixth if you count Clan Wolf In-Exile... but I really am not into that very minor Kell Hound abomination) in the Wolf Hunters which makes it's special debut in Domination, but comes out full force in the May release Vanguard. Do I have a thing for the wolves? Yeah... I guess I do. So all you Jade Falcon or Ghost Bear fans out there... beware... because the Kerensky bloodline is once again returning to the Republic of the Sphere. With the wolves back in the fray... how long will Fortress Republic truly continue to stand? Not long is my guess. Saturday, January 14, 2006It's A Small World After AllEMS is a relatively small world within New York City. Usually, everyone defines the NYC EMS system as the Fire Department of New York. What most people would probably find surprising is that the FDNY is only responsible for maybe 30% of all the ambulances in the city. In addition to FDNY there is what we call Voluntary Hospitals that operate units within the 911 system. The FDNY only operates 51% of the 600 something tours (a tour equals 8 in service hours) a day in the city 911 system, with the other 49% belonging to the Voluntaries. Then there are approximately 12 private ambulance companies operating in the city. A very rough estimate puts the private ambulances at roughly 500 tours a day combined. In addition to that, there are the 15 still active Volunteer Ambulance Corps that operate on a mostly part time and sporadic schedule. Seems pretty big right? Well, not really. See, there is an awful lot of cross working. It isn’t uncommon for someone to work for the FDNY and a Voluntary Hospital, or work for two or more Voluntary Hospitals, or even for FDNY or a Voluntary and also work at a Private. Of course, there are the extremists who work for FDNY, a Voluntary, and a Private… but that is a rarer breed because the FDNY Union is totally against the Privates. So usually, if you come across someone in one shop, chances are you’ll run across them at another as well. So, last night, after getting done with my job at my Private, I logged in at 23:00 at my Voluntary. All night the rain was on and off… and at sometimes a downright torrential downpour bordering Hurricane conditions. My usual truck, 51D has been removed from the system since May of this year, so I’ve basically been bouncing around wherever the work is in the network of Voluntaries I work for. This is somewhat of a hassle, but I do get to see the different sights and am rarely bored by it. So at around 1:00am this morning I end up on the corner of Myrtle Avenue and Catalpa Avenue for a drug. Medics rolled up a few minutes later as we were loading “Felix”, the undomiciled drunkard into the back of the truck. I knew both medics, one I had worked the same area in Queens with and the other was a guy I actually trained back in 1996 and who eventually ended up working for me on the weekends in 1997 while he went to medic school. It was good to see both of them, and we compared notes on anything new in either our lives, the area, and of course the industry. So we transported the patient, and told them we’d see them later for coffee. At around 3:00am this morning, I ended up backing up the same medics on an unresponsive that turned into a cardiac arrest. While enroute, the dispatcher advised that it was the family member of a Member of Service (MOS). Arriving on scene, we grabbed our scoop stretcher and headed into the house. Up the narrow staircase we went, past some shoes, piles of clothes, and a mattress turned on its side. When we got to the small room at the top of the stairs, I recognized the person holding the IV bag for the medics. It was one of my old partners from back in 1995. The patient was his father. The medics ran through their standing orders while my partner and I pumped and blew. Than we carried the patient down the flight on the scoop, out to the ambulance, and off to the hospital. Thirty minutes or so later, he was pronounced deceased at the hospital. I spoke briefly with my old partner, and we agreed to try and keep in touch better than we had… but it made me think and ponder a bit. To be honest, I had had recent thoughts about leaving the industry. In fact, back in August I was ready to move on the first of this year. Going down to New Orleans for Katrina, and Sabine County for Rita kind of changed that a bit… but the idea was still lurking seeing as how I’ll need to enroll in a refresher class next year. It will be my fourth refresher… signaling the conclusion of 12 years. Yet… there’s something about the job. Something about the camaraderie when you show up with people who have been doing this as long if not longer than you that just makes everything go smoother. Of course, there’s also the fact that you never really know who you’re going to meet or help… someone you may know, someone you may not, or someone you may get to know who might change your life forever. Friday, January 13, 2006The Steff, Hellboy, and Mr. GrumpyI am so drained. Friday has just taken the gusto out of my sails. I spent over six hours on the boards today, which in itself will suck the life out of you. Tonight I have 8 hours on a truck in the Hills, which I actually look forward to. Of course, there’s also the “drama” as Princess Pottymouth had put it. So last night I got home late. Around 1:00am I’m climbing into bed… my head is hitting the pillow… and I’m done. At 2:00am the c-phone rings that wonderful song, “Breaking the Habit” by Linkin’ Park. It’s The Steff. She’s just calling to say hi… because ever since she started working again she’s gone totally nocturnal. She tries to hurry up and say goodnight because she knows she has once again woken me up… but I slam the brakes on her and press for what’s bothering her. Bottom line: Officer Crumb. She’s still hooked on him. So I listen… and I sympathize because I know what that’s TOTALLY like… and tell her how much better off she is without him She admits she’s in her moody ways… but I know no matter what I say it won’t help even though she says it does. We end up talking about her friend, and her relationship. I give her my standing advice on it (all men suck… but if you want it bad enough… you can get it) and we say goodnight. Now it is 2:30 in the morning… and I’m laying awake looking at the ceiling… thinking about so many things that ultimately weigh on my mind. My relationship with The Steff… my relationship with Christine (who I still haven’t heard from)… my relationship with The Nick… and the list just goes on. So what do I do? Right… I turn on the television and fall asleep in the middle of Hellboy. Hellboy is a great movie. I love the music when they pull up in the garbage truck to the museum. I loved Selma Blair in it… ever since Cruel Intentions I’ve had a thing for her. I find Hellboy the ULTIMATE love story… and someone I can relate with. The part where he’s trying to write Liz (Selma Blair) and tell her how he feels… me. The part where he’s on a rooftop spying on her… yeah, me. The part where he breaks off his horns and forsakes his true nature to save her… yes… me as well. To me, that is true love. That is unconditional love. Yet… they are never meant to be. So, as the familiar music played in the background, and I drifted off to sleep… I questioned if all of this was never meant to be… …And I woke up still wondering. Then of course... the day ran its course... and now I'm tired... sitting at work. The Nick decides to start her stuff again. When I say that... I mean she starts teasing me. The whole "I need a massage", followed by "We need to go shopping" ended with "Well, Monday's no good because I'm playing the role of the good daughter". Right... see... that's the thing... she's teasing. She claims to be a commitment phobe. Maybe she is... but then why whine about not having a boyfriend to lift a tv??? I was in no mood to play our usual antics tonight... so I called her out on it... and she did her loopy reply... which I came back at her hard reminding her that all of this was her choice... and that was that. So she's mad at me now. Oh well. I call it how I see it... and never promised to fudge on anything I ever said or did. To a large extent there are times when I am brutally honest... but more to be brutal than to be honest. This was one of those times. I don’t think I feel as lonely anymore… although I know I’m as alone as ever. Maybe I’m just getting used to it again. Which also means I’ll probably become grumpy again… something to watch out for. Actually… I think I may already have started. By the way... Happy Friday the 13th everyone... glad to see my luck hasn't changed any... Well... it seems Princess Pottymouth is a little upset over my new banner at BE. Here's her posting after seeing it in rotation. Now... here's the real important part... read the comments made in the post. Notice specifically that Bitter Bitch says, "I want to be just like you when I grow up. And I want my avatar on someone’s banner dammit!" Ask... and yee shall receive my dear... Oh... and just for the record... while I would have to say I enjoy the bustier... I have a thing against blondes... but I do love redheads... I've decided to rent out the space on your right to The Panic Blog. It's a nice little dark blog... both in design and humor. It's well worth the trip for all you little red pills out there... so take a trip down the rabbit hole and click on the link to your right... Thursday, January 12, 2006The Nick, Isabelle, and CravingsSo, The Nick has moved into her new house... officially. Is she happy? Well, not really. See... she now has less closet space, less room in her room, and his paying twice as much as she was in her previous place. The difference... well... this place she OWNS. Right... it's a big thing to go from renting to owning. The American Dream and all that. So last night's big issue was her television. She has a 36 incher that she can't lift onto her new television stand. So, tonight when she comes into work she has this look... and if looks could kill... well, I'd be 24 feet under by now pushing up palm trees. So I tried talking to her. She's all moody. Then... she slams me over a work IM. I was taken aback at first... only to discover through a few more... that she had expected me to go over her house last night and hoist it onto the stand. Did I miss something??? Then she starts complaining about how she's single... and how I love midgets... and how I never make the time for her. At this point, I slammed the emergency brakes on... why? Because she has ditched hanging out with me at least 7 times. She claims to be jealous when other women talk to me but she has always talked to all these guy friends on the phone when we do hang out. She always asks me to hang out when she knows I have plans either with my son or someone else. WTF? So... guess what I'm doing tomorrow? Right... sending my brother to go lift the tv into place... maybe he'll have better luck than me. So I met this new girl online the other day. Her name is Isabelle... she seems really sweet and smart. She also likes to write (it's like my new thing... gotta find fellow writers) and has an interesting perspective on things. I've really only talked to her twice... but I find her on my mind alot. She's somewhat in the New York area... so maybe one day we'll get a drink, swap some stories, and then fall madly in love with each other and move to Guam. I have recently had incredible cravings for chocolate. So... lucky me the other night, I go out to dinner with The Steff, Mel, and Mel's daughter... who at the wise age of 7 has brought a case of the World's Finest Chocolates with her. So after spending fourteen dollars of hard cash for every available almond bar... and only eating one... I can't find them. I have looked high... and low... and not a sign. So now I have placed a five dollar bounty on the capture of the candy bar culprit. It ain't right... it just ain't right. Wednesday, January 11, 2006The Purple PillI would normally say I was surfing when I read this... because normally it would be true... but that isn't the case. I read this posting entitled The Purple Pill in a blog called Pixie Dust. So how did I come across it??? Well, Nikki from Match sent me the link. After becoming enraged at my blog... hell she got her own!!! She was also kind enough to advise me I might be mentioned... and although I was not mentioned by name... or the pet name she calls me by (The Asshole for those of you who forgot)... well, I'm sure we can see where she received some inspiration on it. To be honest... I really really really really really enjoy her writing... hence why if you look to the left, you will now see she has taken a spot under the Daily Reads. She's only the third blog to do so... because I am VERY finicky on my Daily Reads... and well... like I said, I really like her writing. To those of you who are curious if I e-mailed her back... yes. However, I will not be posting that e-mail... I will leave you with the knowledge it was done... and no matter how I tried not to sound like a sniveling apologetic scumbag... I still think I did. Score: Nikki- 1 Dog- 0
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