A Pile of Dog Bones

“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

A Night With Izzy... Well Sorta

So tonight didn’t turn out as I had originally planned. The cold weather here in New York claimed the life of my mother’s car this morning… well, at least until I got home tonight and shocked it back to life with my jumper cables. Now if only my patients were that easy… but I digress. Originally I planned to build on last night’s momentum by leaving work on time. Yes, I was going to leave work on time today, go home, write for the two hours for a goal of 2,500 words or until it was time to get my maternal figure from work, then crash out on my despised futon. Content and happy with my no longer blocked self, I would watch HBO’s showing of Love Actually and maybe get a good nights sleep.

Well, I’ve caught about 55 minutes of Love Actually. That was pretty much where the plan got to. Izabella IMed me tonight. The conversation, as is the case with most IMs, started out cordial enough. We talked about mainly food. Well, I asked her if she liked Chinese, and she does. I asked what her favorite dish was, sweet and sour pork, so that’s what I ordered from the restaurant down the block. I hate making decisions like that… I have to make life and death ones all day… can’t someone else decide something for a change?

So anyway, we talked for probably around three hours… which was long enough to make me late for mom. Luckily, my mother was working late (gee, do you wonder where I get it from?) which only made me madder because had I known… well I would have continued talking to her. The last few times we spoke things seem to flow relatively naturally… but tonight was almost downright freaky. IMs have about a half-second delay, plus the time you need to factor in to type. I would say at least 4 or 5 times, we either said the same thing or finished each other’s IMs within a quarter of a second. That’s the kind of sick puppy love thing you do with your girlfriend in high school, right? Yeah, I thought so too… but to be honest it felt damn good.
Tonight there seemed to be a real connection there… a bond being cemented it seemed. How? Well, she was more open and honest about her life than she had been previously. Of course, I feel that for the most part my life is an open book. I think my pieces all fit… I just may not give you all the pieces right away, I mean what fun is that? I was upfront with her too about similar things. So there’s sharing going on, and bonding going on, and its all good. Jokes start flying back and the next thing I know is everyone is looking at me as I chuckle evily in my cubicle. As if my co-workers didn’t realize I was weird enough…

Then she comes out with this thing about The Steff. How she thinks my heart or head belong to her already. Looking back I can understand where that comes from... but The Steff and I have been down that road and decided then it was not the best path for us to take. Next to Christine, The Steff is my best friend. Now that Christine’s gone, well, The Steff is my bestest friend. She is one of four who will always have a piece of my heart… but The Steff and I also have a longer history together than most people realize. Do I love The Steff? Of course I love and adore her and would do anything for her! Will The Steff and I ever be linked together romantically? Of course not! I could never endanger our friendship like that, because if I don’t have Christine… I don’t have The Steff… I don’t have Yum in this world… who will protect me from myself? Pudding? She’d tie the noose for me… so no… I need The Steff... she is the ONLY thing giving me balance in my life right now.

Once I explained to the best of my limited ability about the relationship with The Steff, we moved on to some other topics, including writing. She sends me this sample in e-mail while she eats shrimp cocktail. It was only around maybe 5 paragraphs long or so… but it bowled me right over. I was left, quite literally breathless. How can she not be published already? Like a lot of us, she doesn’t feel her writing is good enough. Well, if you want to talk about inferiority complex… wow. I felt so little in such a big world at that moment. I was humbled.

So we concluded by swapping photo album links… and I was off rushing to wait for my mom. Of course, after reading her stuff, I wanted to delve right in. Then, I get home, and still have to revive mom’s car. By that time, well Love Actually was on. Then I questioned whether or not to trudge the two flights down… but instead decided to write here on the Windows 74 computer… all 790 something words you see before you.

So did I accomplish what I set out to do? Mmmm… yes, I think I did… just not necessarily where I had intended to do it. But now, with Izzy on my buddy list, well I’m sure that is all just a matter of time.
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 1/18/2006 12:34:00 AM :: :: 0 Bones Added to the Pile

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