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Monday, December 26, 2005Top Ten Things To Do For 2006
10) Quit smoking- yes… it may be my lowest priority of things to do… but I’ve been telling myself every year is the last year now for five years. Maybe if I didn’t make it my lowest priority I’d be able to do it.
9) Lose weight- not sure how to try to do this again this year… but maybe I can get motivated to avoid the constant and consistent fast food and make some time for the gym. I have a gym membership… unfortunately it’s so old it was chiseled into a stone slab similar to the Ten Commandments. Yeah… I definitely need to update that photo.
8) Spend more time with my family-… right… anyway…
7) Go back to therapy-… or some form of it. My former therapist won’t want to see me anymore… but he was nice enough to drop the charges after I destroyed his office and nearly put him through a plate glass window. Maybe if the therapy would have worked… that wouldn’t have happened… so who’s fault was it anyway? See… this is why he doesn’t like me anymore.
6) I’m going to win the World Series of Poker-… right… look, this is a list of the top things I should do… but for this one, I’ll be happy with just a seat at the table and to avoid being the first person busted out.
5) I’m taking my son to New Hampshire-… I have a beloved aunt who lives in New Hampshire. She has unfortunately only seen DJ once… primarily because of the distances involved. So this spring, I’m taking him to see her… because besides the guilt trip she gave me last night about it… I do miss New Hampshire.
4) I’m going to deal with Officer Crumb-… yes… I have been EXTREMELY nice so far… but if he even attempts to play the same crap in the new year as he did last year with The Steff… well, just go see number 7… only I WILL put him through the plate glass window… and seeing as how this is a picture she sent me of her throwing darts at him… I tend to think she won’t be protesting.
3) I’m going to deal with Louis finally-… see number 4, then read number 7, times it by 10… yes… Louis is done… he just doesn’t know it yet…
2) I’m going to be less violent and less aggressive this year-… really… after I do number 3 and number 4… I think I’ll become a Buddhist and find some inner peace. Maybe then I can get a date. Buddhists aren’t celibate are they?
1) The one thing this year I swear I’ll do is finish ONE of my book ideas- …I want to get it done and get it published… maybe not by a real publisher… but if I have to do it myself so be it. Bottom line… my number one goal is to break down the wall with a sledgehammer and smash it into bits and pieces. Then I’ll become that Buddhist… as long as they don’t have to be celibate… otherwise I’ll have to find some other inner peace religion that allows sex. How about those mormons? I can live in Salt Lake City… really I could.
So that's what I WANT to do for 2006... maybe I should make a list of things to avoid too while I'm at it.