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Monday, December 26, 2005Red Pill or Blue Pill
When We Were Liars, Things Were Seamless: Excerpts from a Conversation is a classic example of the things I was talking about that I can identify and sympathize with.
Really... to put it in more of a modern terminology, it's like The Matrix (the original movie). When Morpheus offers Neo the two pills... the Blue pill and the Red pill. The Blue pill represents the world as you know it... the familiar things, the comfortable known things. The Red pill respresents the world you don't know... an unknown factor, an adventurous and potentially scary prospect. It goes alot deeper, philosophical arguments that have been made in a number of Matrix Essays written on the subject, but I'm not talking about the deep Buddhist stuff... I'm talking about how people the world over would choose the status quo over the refreshing and new.
The Steff does it, choosing Officer Crumb over the new guy. Christine does it, choosing Louis over the unknown. Monique is contemplating it, choosing Ryan over Mark. So the question becomes why stay with the known over the unknown?
Well, I think its because it is the unknown. There is a fear factor involved there... one which is in our subconscious as opposed to being a conscious thought.
Am I any different? I'm an adrenaline junky... never sure what my next call will be... never knowing where it might take me. Hell... I even participated in both Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita responses. Am I a red piller, going down the rabbit hole every chance I get? I like to think so.
Yet... Pudding once accused me of preferring to be alone... and therefore being a blue piller. Then I doubted her, and told her she was crazy. Now... in hindsight... maybe I do prefer being alone... because deep down that is what I'm used to having been that way for so long. Marrying her was definately a trip down the rabbit hole. Would I give it back? Nope. I would do it... heartache and all... again and again. Why? Because there were good times too... and those are priceless in my mind and heart. Although being alone may be what I know and am familiar with better than most... it's being lonely that drives me to my moments of insanity. So is being alone my personal blue pill that goes down my gullet in my subconscious? Anything is really possible I suppose... but I need to change it... I need to swallow the red pill... even if it ends my existence in this dreamworld state.
So the question before us all is what we know versus what we don't... and which do we choose? I want to take the red pill. I don't want to stay with the familiar and safe... because I've been there... done that... got a few t-shirts and divorce papers to prove it. So how do I take the red pill in this? Maybe I should start with making some New Year's resolutions...