A Pile of Dog Bones

“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


Lately there has been some activity between my favorite Bitches at IT2M and my favorite white water and plumbing expert Matt at MTMD. So here's my disclaimer... I really have nothing to do with it other than I read both sites... but its drama... and as the self-proclaimed King of All Drama, I feel the need to opinionate on it... and blow off a little built up steam I still have.

So MTMD received a smackdown from the Bitches. Was it brutal? Mmmm... not really compared to some of the other tragedies that have appeared there. I can understand Matt's feelings. I too was labelled with the BTOD when I got my smacks. Did it smart a bit? Sure. Did I expect anything less? Not really... and let's face it... I'm one sick puppy... so the blogging S&M done by Princess Pottymouth deep down inside filled me with glee. Remember how I feel about awards? Yeah... I felt that way then too.

Matt though went a different route... and he starts doing this. Sending his reviewer, Bitter Bitch, e-mails trying to plead his case. Now I'll be honest... I made some comments because I loved Bitter Bitch's response. It was crafty, witty, entertaining, and DRAMATIC! I did feel bad for Matt, because I know at heart he is a nice guy, and his blog got gutted on the review... and then that e-mail beating... wow... and he had just finished up a rent stint by me... but you know... I tried to warn him... but it went unheeded. By the way, I still think a sister website called You Write Too Much would be awesome.

So Matt comes back with another one. This was a much shorter one and ended with a threat of legal action. Apparently he had taken issue that the e-mail was published because of Bitter's "P.S." which actually had to do with a previous review and then it's second go around which dragged the designers, Stephanie and Lysie into it. Now THAT one... my paw was in. See, I had suggested to Gidget that since she was unhappy with the original smacking she should ask to get re-smacked with the new design. Did I know what was going to happen? Mmmm... yeah... I did. Why did I then do this? Because she was blaming Stephanie's design... and it wasn't Stephanie's fault. They like what they like... can you blame them? Stephanie just did what Gidget had wanted. Of course... things didn't get any better between Gidge and Stephanie... so I failed in that manipulation... and in the end I felt bad because now Lysie was getting backlashed at IT2M when she shouldn't have been. So... since Matt's design is by Stephanie, Bitter added that P.S. because she didn't want to see that happen again... which I have to be honest was the right thing to do because ultimately a designer only designs what the client wants. Had Matt bothered to read through some previous posts... maybe he would have realized it... maybe not.

So now the Bitches are eagerly awaiting the impending legal action. They're looking forward to it... and so Matt sends another one. Again mentioning the impending legal action and being advised by lawyers and stuff not to say anything or make comments. That my friends is the last we have thus far seen of MTMD on IT2M. Now I should be fair... because inbetween those two e-mails Matt and I had a brief e-mail exchange where he hinted at something along the lines of April 1. Honestly, I had no idea what he was talking about... and thought he might be cracking under the barrage.

This proved it. Matt had taken his canoe over the falls into the arms of whitewater coated people. Matt seems to think he was a "troll". Now he has these Wiki definitions layed out, a nice picture from some Frodo flick, and some screenshots. I have to be honest... his case for it is shit. Why? Allow me to count the ways:
  • The definition of Troll he defines is only ONE way to define it... and honestly I can't see how he can attest to that definition because I don't see his name on the sidebar of IT2M. Unless I am REALLY DUMB and he's Princess Pottymouth or Bitch Esq. in disguise... he isn't a member of IT2M.
  • He went to Charred for advice. What. The. Fuck. You know what the problem is there... Charred is a nice guy too. It's true... the one thing I hate about IT2M (not that it matters) is Charred and his one line reviews. I think secretly he doesn't want to be too mean because deep down he's a pile of fucking mush. While I was impressed by this from him... and as it turns out we both have a thing for Hans Christian Andersen (The Snow Queen in particular)... it seems to ask him for advice on the Bitches is like asking the Executioner how sharp the guillotine is. "Well let's see... put your head right here..." Charred wouldn't do that. Not his style. That's something I would do...
  • Matt has tried to go head to head with Luin. Right there is evidence this is not a case of trolling... this is damage control. Luin is extremely cool, very low key, but mad scientist like intelligent. Her comment shows that because she has shot enough holes in Matt's definition that the damn thing is practically thin air... and I guarantee that the only reason it took 30 seconds was because she's probably on that crappy 'puter with the messed up AIM. For Matt to actually think that it was a disruption in anyone's lives... wow dude... it really wasn't... and trust me... she knows how to spell Exhile. To be honest, I secretly harbor the illusion that Luin is Princess Pottymouth... I think its the corset thing... but I digress yet once again. Bottom line... don't fuck with my Faerytale.
  • Finally if it is true that Matt had "trolled" IT2M... well all he's doing is joining the likes of TinyDicks. No one likes a troll dude... that's why they are called TROLLS.

So here's the thing... I like Matt and he's a nice guy... but I feel the need for an intervention. So Matt... you need help. You need to go to Traffic Whore's Anonymous (TWA). We can get you help there. These outcries for traffic... between this "trolling" and the whole "questmaster" bit... it's evidence you're addicted. Possibly because of your ads... or your Amazonian links... I don't know. If you think your NOT a traffic whore... take the counter off for a week. Blog without thinking about how many people are seeing your page and instead concentrate on content. Hits to me mean jack shit although it seems to be the currency of choice... I prefer the comments personally... because I know that not only was there a page view... but someone actually read what I had to say... and it mattered enough for them to say something back.

What I think you need to understand about the people who comment or lurk at IT2M and personal bloggers in general... it's not about the salary... it's all about reality... or our version of it anyway.
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 5/02/2006 09:56:00 PM :: :: 18 Bones Added to the Pile

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