A Pile of Dog Bones

“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Guns, Roses, and the Pyro Guys

Well tonight I worked at the Hammerstein Ballroom for the New Guns & Roses show. That's right... Axl is back. They're doing 4 shows that started last Friday, Sunday night, tonight (which is really last night), and finally Wednesday night before going to Europe. I'm sure a lot of people want to know how the show was. Allow me to say this... Axl continues to be Axl. His groove is back... his voice is back... his extravagant dressing room requests are back... but with the exception of Dizzy his band still isn't back.

Now don't get me wrong, it was a really good show. If your an Axl fan then you were probably overjoyed... like the 33 year old mother of 3 from North Carolina who ran her mascara all over my shirt because she was there to see "the love of my life" Axl... and was unhappy over the fact security pulled her from the crushing crowd as she went limp. .. oh and her husband was a pussy for not coming (well... uh... who was going to watch the kids??? duh!). If you are a fan of GNR... like the 43 year (and I swear... she looked fabulous for 43), who clambered out during the opening song Welcome to the Jungle, well it was okay. They opened with Welcome to the Jungle, did Patience, November Rain, Mr. Brownstone, had Sebastian Bach (what a fucking airhead) come up for My Michelle, and ended it all with Paradise City. Other favorites were peppered in along with some new songs... so watch out for a new album once Axl makes back some of the 14 million he had the record company spend in making it.

However, the real entertainment of the night was Reid and Kevyn... the Pyro Guys. See, Axl has this habit of doing things late. Although he was scheduled for a 9:45 performance... he did not arrive until 10:50. Since our call time was 6:00... we had time to kill. So we spent it with the Pyro guys at the backstage door as they greeted New Yorkers.

Here's a typical Pyro Guy routine:
"Hey how are you doing today?" asked Reid.
"Oh, I'm okay. How are you?" replied a startled New Yorker who slows down his walking.
"I'm gassy today. What's in the bag?" he would respond referring to either a shopping bag or a case that they were carrying.
At this point, the New Yorker would either tell him or clutch the bag and walk away faster.

A few conclusions they came up with were that orthodox Jewish men are the friendliest of all New Yorkers; short women are more likely to talk to you than tall womenl; no one likes Harry Connick Jr. (which is who they would tell everyone who asked who was playing); there are an awful lot of clothes being carried around New York, which means there are an awful lot of slumber parties going on; and that there are more men with man bags in all of New York than the rest of the world.

This went on for HOURS... and it really got crazy when the security guy pissed off an old Russian woman and Kevyn got the blame. I bet some people are wondering why I am even mentioning this. Maybe because it's now 5 something in the morning... and maybe I really need to go to bed... but the point I want to make is the Pyro Guys were a better entertainment value than the band.

Where are my priorities lately? Here they are.
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 5/16/2006 04:00:00 AM :: :: 1 Bones Added to the Pile

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