A Pile of Dog Bones

“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Amateurs Do It Better. I Also Got A Girlfriend. WOO-HOO!

NOTE TO SELF: Be sure to mention at some point in the near future about the price difference of a regular brown hot chocolate vs. the new "white" hot chocolate from Dunkin' Donuts which originally what this was going to be about.

As most of you may notice today is Saturday. Imagine my surprise when I got home this morning after a summer like overnight in The Hills to find some new comments on my FOAD Post. So apparently the blogger known as Paula has seen it and decided to respond with a post of her own. I truly find it one of the better pieces of comedy written this year.

So basically here's what she has to say about me:
I posted about her yesterday, but didn't link cuz I was trying to be nice and all. That's changed. :) Virginia's BIG BAD BOYFRIEND in New York City has now come galumping to the rescue by posting a steaming load of emo dumbfuckery in a pitiful attempt to save his widdle bitches from the studded whips of Evil Writers. Gotta love his many manly ellipses though, doncha? ;)

None of that would be remarkable except for the fact that Virginia and her mewling pack of poodles, who had previously stuck their snoots in the air and gone on about the horrors of my gang of flunkies, are now over at BIG BAD BOYFRIEND'S slurping his ass as he rabidly froths over Looney.

Those dogs are PWNED!
So apparently, Virginia is my girlfriend! Just when was someone going to tell me this? Why have I not received home cooked meals? What about sexual gratification from this relationship? More importantly, where is my cheese and sausage gift box? I will also be taking bets to see how long it is before my Cherry Pie renders her a paraplegic. Checking on the connecting flights from Florida, I'm betting on Monday.

So allow me to clarify a few things from that post:

1) On my use of ellipses, and directly quoted from Wikipedia:
Ellipses- in linguistics refers to any omitted part of speech that is understood; i.e. the omission is intentional. Analogously, in printing and writing, the term refers to the row of three dots (...) or asterisks (* * *) indicating such an intentional omission. This punctuation mark is also called a suspension point, points of ellipsis, periods of ellipsis, or colloquially, dot-dot-dot.

An ellipsis is sometimes used to indicate a pause in speech, an unfinished thought or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence (aposiopesis). Ellipses are often used in this manner for internet chat, email, and forum posts.

I have never anywhere claimed the mantle of "professional writer" as the blogger known as PJ did on Virginia's blog. In fact I think those who have read me for awhile understand that my writing here is not truly writing, but rather having a conversation through the keyboard with all of you. Therefore, based on the second paragraph that I bolded from the Wikipedia entry, the periods of ellipsis are in fact used properly and more importantly in the proper setting. Jealousy over my extensive understanding of the English language in both the offline and online worlds will get you nowhere. Neither will using 1980 style smilicons.

2) On my FOAD post being a "steaming load of emo dumbfuckery" I will once again turn to Wikipedia:
  • Emo (music), a music style previously known as "emotional hardcore" or "emocore"
  • Emo (slang), a slang term used to describe a wide range of fashion styles and attitudes somewhat affiliated with emo music.
I really do not understand why people would prove their ignorance by just using labels currently in fashion. There is a long history behind Emo, longer than most people would understand. The truth is that the word started as a term to describe the Washington D.C. music scene in the 1980's. Unfortunately I am not from Washington D.C. nor have I ever considered myself someone who is Emo. The truth is, generally I would be classified under the genre of Hard Core Rap. While I know it may be hard to believe but the two constant themes I persist the most are physical harm (Hard Core attribute) and using the middle finger associated with the word fuck (Gangster Rap attribute to be exact). This cross breeding does in fact label me as Hard Core Rap. Perhaps if my blog was dressed in flannel then I would be considered Grunge Core Rap which, ultimately, is what I myself believe I would be labeled. This of course is only true if you are someone who believes in labels. I myself do not and therefore would not label the blogger who accused me of this to be a Golden Oldies Fogey.

3) Finally in reference to the "ass slurping", well the fact is that I am for all intense purposes a very acquired taste. Those who read me and comment a statement of opposition are more than free to do so. In fact I generally invite it. I do not delete comments or moderate them but I will stop bashing from my commenters onto another commenter for their view. The simple reason is that this blog is about me. This is not about my commenters, like it or not. I am a self-absorbed bitch that way.

By now everyone is pretty tired of reading this but I still have to address a few more minor points.
  • My statement on Virginia's blog that PJ was unreadable is in reference to her poorly designed template. The bright white with the large thin font and her inept use of italics and non-use of blockquotes made this post into a wavy mess. Therefore it was rendered unreadable, not that I would read it anyway. I would recommend some designers, but since she does not know what PWNED means and did not even think of Googling (which by the way means using the search engine called Google(a search engine allows you to find things out through research)) it, I think she is better off with the VCR Owner's Manual so the clock stops flashing.
  • Joe The Troll posted an excellent article dealing with the very subject that sparked this debate. He also left a comment wondering, I think, about the timing issue. The funny thing about it is that my post has been up since 1:00am Thursday morning, in fact I forgot to change the date and time since I started drafting it Wednesday afternoon. Believe it or not it was not ALL about the goings on regarding that issue. There are a lot of things that get under my skin and generally Thursday is my day to air my grievances about them. What you may also notice is that comments, including your own, happened 36 hours after my original post. This is actually something I've been debating with someone else, regarding comments and being on a horrible platform like Blogger that doesn't send you comment update e-mails. As for the whole thing about being on the receiving end and seeing much worse than this, I agree. At least as far as seeing it but that's usually because I'm the one dishing it out.
  • To Don who also posted a comment, well I disagree about the ass kissing. While I may be all for the dick sucking (especially from my newfound girlfriend with the hot boots) it really isn't my preference. Unfortunately my resident regulator, Denise, is taking care of some business but I am sure she'll be here smacking me around next week sometime. Just so you know, I am against breed banning, the assault rifle ban, the seatbelt laws, the helmet laws, the trans-fat ban, and pretty much anything else that will contribute to the government dictating lifestyle to us and elongating a life span of the ambiently stupid. Which also is why I am all for the legalization of Marijuana, euthanasia, and the Do Not Resuscitate home kit. However, I try not to be political here so that's pretty much the political dose of the month.
Finally, and I do mean it this time, I apologize from the diversion to my regular readers. I also apologize for the tone of this post. It was done intentionally so that pompous windbag "professional writers" understand it. They should also understand that if they are indeed "professional writers" then it is no wonder that publishing companies and magazines are turning to the non-professionals. The truth as they have proved thoroughly is that amateurs do it better. We do it with heart. In fact it is a pink fluffy one.

We will return to a conversationalist tone once again tomorrow. Points of ellipses and all....
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 1/06/2007 07:15:00 AM :: :: 37 Bones Added to the Pile

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