A Pile of Dog Bones


“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Friday, October 27, 2006

The MeMe From Hell

I've been trying to do this meme now for a few days... but something ALWAYS happens. So finally here it is. The first time I saw it was in the Secret Layer of the Blogger Formally Known As Miss Ann, and then Avi had it, and then Dramedy had it, and a bunch of other people as well... so here's mine...

DO YOU SNORE?
When I sleep on my back, yeah.

ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
Fight first and be lovey later. Make up fucking is the best.

WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?
My worst fear is that no one will remember my name.

AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Absolutely not! I was THE LEGO MASTER!!! I actually apprenticed when I was 12 for a week with a guy named Hans who built a White House and Capitol Building model that toured malls around the country.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV?
I loved The Real World and Road Rules. Notice I used the word "loved". Like everything else it has become a commercialization ploy and I find it annoying.

DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
Not really, but I do chew on toothpicks.

WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Define cute. I'm was the antonym.

IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
It was once... maybe it will be once again.

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black and silver with white letters and yellow LEDs.

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
No way.

HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
I was not allowed by their insurance company.

ANY SECRET TALENTS
I bake.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
A country farm in the south near a plantation. This way I get my southern fix, my honey's in the hoop skirts, and some PEACE AND QUIET.

CAN YOU SWIM?
Doggy paddle. Duh.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
Mmmmm... maybe. Was there a talking dog in it?

DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
Does the Ozone give a damn about me? Right... the feelings mutual.

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
297 with a wet tongue. 463 with a dry one. Don't believe me? Try it.

CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
I'm not dyslexic... and I'd prefer to stay that way.

DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
Electric. A manual pencil sharpener to me is a pocketknife.

WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
As far away as possible. I don't have a problem if the hunt is actually for food... like when Porkman hunts the gators for the gumbo... but I'm not feeling guys who just hunt for the trophies.

IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
It could be if I found the right woman.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yeah... even though no one in the world can read what I write it makes it kinda cool... like my own secret dialect.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Ambient Stupidity. When people exhibit it my limbs shake violently and I foam at the mouth.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU” ?
Yesterday.

DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
No way. Those are happy occasions. One less single guy looking for a piece of the pie.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I used to have an egg allergy. Ever since I discovered I outgrew it (last year) I don't care... I just like them cooked.

ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Some are. So are some brunettes. The only people who are ahead of the game are the redheads. I've never met a dumb one.

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Sock heaven... where all the good socks go.

WHAT TIME IS IT?
1450.

DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
Yeah... and its what I'm writing under right now.

IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING?
Compared to the other shit I've seen people eat... no.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
3 hours ago.

DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
I LOVE BATHS. But my tub isn't big enough for a good one... so it's a massaging showerhead.

IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
This is something I could make into one of those long winded philosophical posts. I won't though... not yet. In short the answer is maybe.

DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Yes. But I LOVE having my ears nibbled on. Drives me wild.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Ha! The dark is afraid of me.

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Diet Coke. French Vanilla Ice Coffee. The smell of vanilla. Of course the Internet and my favorite blawgs!

CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Creamy and smooth...

CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Amongst other things... absolutely. I crack it probably every two hours. It's a stress thing.

HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
Ha! Yes... in fact I've ridden in every seat AND on the stretcher.

IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Sure... if its for you. That also means no Tylenol, Aspirin, or Thera-Flu. If your going to promote yourself as Drug Free then be it... don't be a hypocrite.

ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
I can be... it really depends on how much sleep I got the night before.

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Brown.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
It's okay. It has been better. It has also been worse.

ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
I think I might have something with my dreams... some of them come true every now and then.

HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
Yeah. I wasn't crazy about it though.

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Nope.

HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
Yeah. And no... I'm not sorry for it.

CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
No... but I can sit in the jacuzzi at the lodge real well.

DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Yeah, its okay. I did quite a bit of it as a kid in the scouts, so it doesn't bother me like it bothers other people. In fact... it can be quite funny when you go with people who haven't done it before.

DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
Well a snort is an air intake move... I'm usually expelling air... so I don't snort... but I may snot.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Absolutely!

ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND?
Absolutely not. Man is Dog's best friend... and needs to remember his place. Now give me my supper!

YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
I did not believe in divorce... until it happened to me.

CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
Nope.

DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
I'd like to think not... but the ones I do I can recognize them as mistakes.

IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
It's okay. No big deal.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Beef brisket and mashed potatoes from Ms. Kim's.

DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
Not anymore.

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW?
I like a lot of people. I love very few. I hate fewer. Then there's a whole herd of people I have no feelings for what so ever.

WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
Jarod and his Subway Sandwhich commercials. Total bullshit.

DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
No. Their shit isn't even made in America. Not even Mexico.

FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
Serial Thrilla by The Prodigy... I know its old, but that's the type of mood I've been in this week.


Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 10/27/2006 06:03:00 PM :: :: 5 Bones Added to the Pile

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