A Pile of Dog Bones

“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Friday, May 05, 2006

Honoring Thy Tenant and Landlords and The Friday Drama Update

So I have decided to participate in Get Drunk Friday. Of course what isn't too wise... was that I got drunk alone. Something I prefer not to do simply because sons of alcoholics have something like an 90%+ chance of becoming alcoholics themselves... and I prefer not to be one like dear old dad. Anyway... happy GDF.

So right now I would like to remind you that J.C. himself is staying with us at APODB. If you haven't had the chance to see his Holiness then please take the time to do so... I highly recommend confering with the higher being who may decide your fate if your that type of person... you know... bible beating holier than thou morons... although I tend to think if they read J.C.'s blog... they'd realize he's just another dog looking for a bone... but aren't we all? I am beginning to digress so I will now stop... but go give J.C. a holla.

This week I am also lucky enough to be staying at a few very cool places. I've got a little bed at Warped, Film Cutters Anonymous (just watch for the whole page ad if you do... I don't know what's up with that shit... not cool), Tiny Voices In My Head, Gidget Bones Diary, and The Dramedy of Life. Be sure to go visit them and tell them how you appreciate them keeping me out of the gutter for... well... at least 6 nights out of this week... I'm feeling the backyard lounge chair calling my name... so who knows... not that I'm adverse to warm places to sleep... but I just miss sleeping outdoors... it's a boy scout thing... but I am digressing... so go see them... especially Gidge, Shelly, and Dawn... because they always take great care of me and I get better than futon accomadations over there. If you ever see them renting space... WELL WORTH THE CREDITS... but you'll find all that out later when I get done compiling my lists.


So now for what you have all come to expect from me... the drama. Well let's see... The Nick came back from Canada, she joined the 420 club, Musclehead is pleading for forgiveness, and she's been pissy with me because she thinks I'm not paying attention to her. Oh well. Shit happens.

The Steff has now officially deaded everyone but The Donkey, who last night flew to Ireland, and she was all upset over it... because now she misses him and he sent her flowers... and gag me with a fucking spoon I wanna hurl... and I think once he gets back they will be "official"... although I tend to think the relationship was already consumated... but whatever. So tonight we were supposed to hang out... but I blew her off too and she'll be pissed at me like she was over A.C. Moore... but if she loves me she'll forgive me... and if not... well fuck her and I'll just send her mother and sister flowers for occasions from now on.

Was that it? Oh right... the Ooompa Loompas. Ooompa Loompa 1 started her medic school and is still with her "special" boyfriend. Ooompa Loompa 2 is more of a pain in the ass than anything... always whining and complaining and all this other crap... I should squish her and put her out of her misery.

I think all the drama is covered... oh right... IZZY!!! Yes folks... I will now break from Friday Drama Tradition and talk about IZZY... who by the way hated it when I mentioned her in this blog so for awhile I didn't... even though she has her own and feels free enough to write about me at will!!!

See ehre's the deal... we met online... we fought online... we made up... that's right, online. Then we met in real life... we fought online... we made up... that's right, online and in real life. Then we fought in real life... and became friends online. You know... e-mails... IM's... blah blah blah. Let's face it... we just didn't work at anything beyond friends due to insecurities and scarring and damage and all the rest. Right. So for some reason during one of our IM sessions I finally said that hey, casual sex is cool as long as you can have emotional detachment... which you can't. She swears she can. So it's like... okay... we'll have casual sex. She hasn't gotten it in awhile... I haven't gotten it since her... so yeah... casual sex. Well you know what... those plans got blasted out of the water. But hey... so we made plans for this past Sunday to go to a benefit and then afterwards go back to the casual sex... but as you all saw on Sunday I had to go to Albany. Atomic bomb on those plans.

Now to be honest with you... the last few weeks have been slightly stressful... and although I vent here... sometimes it doesn't help enough. It is no secret that I take stuff... lock it in... and keep it until I explode. That whole anger management thing really hasn't helped me and I refuse to go back on the meds for the PTSD. Fuck Zoloft to high heaven and the other shit they wanted to pour down my gullet. I hate the numbing affect and the blah and the way they make me "calm". To hell with all of that... I need my edge... I need my wits... I need my RAGE!!!

I don't even remember how it started. I think I loled her twice in an IM and she made some remark about why aren't I talking to her and am I on automatic loling or something. So that's what I did. I loled her. She got pissed, and sent me an e-mail asking me what she did wrong and why was I pissed at her. I was still borderline then... and really shouldn't have done it... but I replied and let some steam out because I hate these needy freaks who think that everything that happens is because of them. Did Steff ask me why I was blowing her off tonight? No. Did Nick poke and prod? No. They know when to leave me be. This one never figured that out... and never will.

So then she blasts me back... and sends me an IM about how proud she is or some shit about who she is... and the e-mail was scathing. I was going to answer it point by point... but I was tired and edgy as it was... but I replied anyway with basically a do whatever you want e-mail... I'm The Asshole and I can deal with it... and even admitted it was me. So then she takes her answer to her blog... which hey... that's cool... no problem there.

Here's where I have the problem. So her previous "friend with benefits" is all like "I'll kick his scumsucking, cockblocking, douche bag wearing, blah blah blah, ass."... and she's like "I'll e-mail you his address... lol". Hence the reason for my previous post... did you miss it? Go look... you'll see it... the one where I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!

So I came home. I got my drink on. Jack Daniels green label with some Coke here and there. I got Uncle Louie and went outside on the park bench. I waited. Steff called at 11:00... blew her off like I said. Work called... told them to do what needed to be done and not to bother me anymore tonight. I was waiting for my guest. At around 1:00am the cops came by. Of course I know them both... asked me why I was pacing outside with Uncle. I told them I was waiting for stickball season to start. They told me to have a good night and just be sure I hide the evidence. No problem... my neighbor has a dumpster because of renovations to his yard... plenty of room in there. At 1:30am Steff tried calling me or texting me again... I sent her to voicemail. Talk to the machine Donkey lover.

At 2:00am it happened. A black jeep came screeching around the corner and then came to a slowing stop in front of the house. Fools probably didn't expect me to be outside waiting. The driver's door opened and closed. The radio was playing the new Tool (excellent album by the way... excellent fucking album) as the driver came around the back of the car. That was when I knew I was fucked. Slap some butter and jelly all over me... I'm toast. Stick a fork in me... I was done. It was fucking Christine.

Now I don't know how she "miraculously" decided to show up. I have a sneaking suspicion The Steff had something to do with it... although I don't know how since they don't know each other, only OF each other... maybe through KC???... but there she was. Wearing her leather MC with hands on her hips and fire in her eyes. She strode over... took Louie away from my now numb hand and asked me in that high pitched 10 year old voice of hers, "Doggy dog have you been bad?"

I swear to god it was the Jack. Maybe it was the wind. Bottom line after 30 minutes of sitting there with her and talking... well... okay... me pouring out my heart inbetween tears... she brought me inside and down here. She laid me down on the couch... booted the computer... and set it so I could fall asleep to the beloved sounds of RUN D.M.C., Public Enemy, and Sir-Mix-A-Lot. She massaged the knots out of my shoulders... kissed my forehead and left. Any reason for me not to love this girl?

For me to go into what was said would take another hour something to write... and besides... it's one of those things that wouldn't come out right anyway. Bottom line is that everything between us is okay again. I feel a balance once again because she did what so few can do to me... hit my reset button. It was nice to hear her voice and look into her eyes and feel at peace. Of course I did get a lecture of sorts about attacking her husband... and why I can't ever seem to make clean breaks in my relationships... and how I didn't send her flowers for her birthday (4/19) although I did send a card.

As for Izzy... well... I think she has made it pretty clear she hates and despises me... which I'm really okay with. It was a mistake for me to agree to something I know I can't do... casual sex without emotional attachment... and like I said it was all me... I do feel bad about it though... more from the blog side of things... she writes really well and I know she feels lost with the whole blog template thing... and it would be a shame if she stopped because of little old me.

Anyway... this has been my GDF entry... and so we will return you to the regularly scheduled bones... right after I pray to the prcelain god.
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 5/05/2006 03:09:00 AM :: :: 5 Bones Added to the Pile

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