Wednesday, December 20, 2006

More Answers From The Big Fat Man In The Red Suit

Here are a few more letters from the mail bag of The Big Fat Man In The Red Suit...

The letter Santa received-

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love,

Teddy

The response Santa sent-

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?

Santa

The letter Santa received-

Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation 3, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love,

Francis

The response Santa sent-

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.

Santa

Aren't the holidays just grand?
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 12/20/2006 02:55:00 PM :: Permalink :: 4 Bones Added to the Pile

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