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Wednesday, November 22, 200610,000 Bears!!!
Okay, so the holidays are upon us whether we are ready or not. Tomorrow most people will sit around tables, stuff your faces, and cause an overdose of tryptophan that will induce your bodies to manufacture niacin and therefore will stimulate your bodies to produce serotonin which will knock your fat asses out by 8:00pm. Then at 4:00am Friday morning, the shopping will begin with the first of the Black Friday sales.
However it is important to remember that it is not just the shopping that begins on Friday, but the whole holiday season of giving. So therefore, keeping that in mind while you scramble for SuperStar Elmo and whatever Bratz doll you think is the least sluttiest (right... as if there were such a thing)... there is an aisle inbetween you WILL stop in. You WILL stop in the Teddy Bear aisle. You NEED some Teddy Bears. You NEED to mail them to her. You NEED to do this immediately.
/Jedi Mind Trick
Now I know that Rachel says she only wants 300 bears. I say "Why so few?" I say, let's send her 10,000 Bears For Xmas!!! Her cause is a great one... it's the Phoenix Children's Hospital. Did my Jedi Powers not completely compel you to buy a bear and send it? That's okay... she'll take donations via PayPal and save you Scrooges the headache AND a visit from Santa's "Send a bear or I'll break your legs!" Elf.
If you do nothing else this holiday season... do the right thing. You'll feel better in the morning for it... and less fat... promise.
What am I doing for the holiday? Working of course... someone needs to bring your asses to the hospital to have your stomachs pumped. Might as well be me.