Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Happy Feet, Journals, and Transvestites Oh My

Ok. Now who in their right mind would think of a title for a post like that? Right. Obviously someone wacked out of their gourd. I never said I was sane... just that I was rightfully the way I am... oh, and this'll end up being a long ass one... just like the title.

So Sunday I took DJ to go see the movie Happy Feet. Now on one hand, I have to give the animators credit because they worked real life humans in very nicely. On the other hand, I have to decry the cheap adult pops the writers were looking for. Within the first fifteen minutes of the film the two "lead" penguins go from almost kissing, cowgirl, to her going down on him, him going down on her, doggystyle, and finally ended with some missionary. Granted it all took about 5 seconds... and while innocent to the eyes of children... we adults get it. Keep in mind, this is not a Shrek or satirical in any form. It's a story of a penguin who can't hold a tune, therefore can't find a mate, but he can dance like a fool and that makes him an outcast. Of course he goes on to change his world to accept him for who he is and in the end there is fish for all by contacting the "aliens" and communicating to them their needs. I really wasn't crazy about it... but DJ liked it and that's really all that matters I guess.


So afterwards we walked through the plaza of the mall and I took a picture of him by a big teddy bear, that after some photoshopping I've decided will be the family Christmas card. Across the plaza however there was a sign. This is a sign I have waited for quite awhile. It is a one word sign. BORDERS. Yes... finally there is a Borders close to where I live! Now I love Borders as opposed to Barnes & Noble for a multitude of reasons. Their support of gaming lines from both Wizard and Wizkids is one, but usually they also have a nice little cafe where you can sit and enjoy yourself for a moments rest. I had no clue they had opened. In fact... I had wanted to work there part time for the discount. So of course we went right over to check it out.

So going into the store I was greeted with the new store scent of freshly laid carpet. My sniffer is shot to shit so if I can smell it... it is STRONG. We went first to the "Kids" section... 'cause... well you know the patience of an empty-handed 5 year old really isn't something to put to a test. So with a new SpongeBob Book in hand we finally got to the Fantasy/Sci-Fi section. Let me just say that most fantasy sections are either 5 or 8 shelves high and usually a total of 6 actual cases. This store has 10 cases with 10 shelves each. Oh the Fantasy/Sci-Fi goodness contained there was incredible! I did a quick title inventory. MechWarrior, check. WarHammer 40,000, check. Dragonlance, check. Star Wars, check.

Once all my series titles were confirmed as being present in the store I pulled against the tugging to the blank journal aisle near the front. Okay... the selection really was not that great... only 4 cases at the standard 4 shelves high. The tugging persisted, and at this point I gave in. We went to the register and paid for SpongeBob's Class Confusion and slipped out the door into the brisk air.

So on the five block walk home I decided I will start a journal. Now most people may say, "But a blog is a journal!" or worse, "A journal is a blog!" and I will admit I thought the same thing once too. It isn't though. I've been journaling on and off for 19 years. Sometimes journals are harder to write in... I have a shitload of books with two or three months and then an entry a year or two later. Sometimes they are easier... I filled a journal once (160 pages) with writing within 3 months. I have a long history of journals.

The 160 page journal was written in 2004. It was by far some of the absolute best writing I have ever done. It wasn't too deep or philosophical. It was in fact pretty much how I write here. The thing is there were two words at the top of every page. Dear XXXXX (XXXXX is not the person's name if you must know... changed simply to protect me from being guilty of things I shouldn't be). They were more letters than journal entries. Something that became so damn habitual it has pretty much crippled me in my writing. No... the NaNo is not completely dead. I just need a jump start on it... but its the same problem. That book was in so many ways more than a book. It was me. What did I do with it? I gave it away... and got a Zippo in return. I love that lighter... but sometimes I want to re-read that book.

However my most prized journal I have written is one I was not alone in writing. A green celtic leather cover over a black plain sketchbook became my work of art. It started out more as a scrapbook in 1999 (see... I started this scrapbooking craze... just like Al Gore gave me the Internet) until my girlfriend at the time got a hold of it. She made an entry herself... and it turned from a one sided journal to a running book of gooshy wuv stuff. I would write her at night... and she would write me in the morning. This was the way of it went for months. Then... one day when I really had nothing left to write... I stopped. So did she. Roughly around the time we forgot why we were together.

It was still all there though. Every word... every intention... all the wuv... and some moments of stress. It was that book that actually brought us back together in 2000... and of course the rest is the story of my life. The girlfriend I speak of was my ex-wife, Pudding. Although that book ultimately brought me back to something that has caused me so much pain and agony... I treasure it above all the rest.

Oh and there are others. My pink covered spiral notebook from Freshman year in high school with the opening entry that read, "Ms. Conboy's tits are so HUGE!" My black leather covered one from college with the opening entry that reads, "'Life is a jest and all things show it, I thought so once but now I know it'- John Gay, My Own Epitaph... and I shall write in here words as wise, if not wiser than his." Then of course there is my green camping journal from my scouting years with the opening entry that read, "It is cold out. We need to build..." and of course the rest of the page is ripped out... because we burned it and about half the rest of the book to start a fire.

Yeah. I love my journals. So I've decided that Saturday morning... even though I have a dozen or so blank ones sitting around... I'm going to Borders. I'm buying myself a new journal. I'm bringing a pen. I'm ordering a hot chocolate. I'm gonna sit my ass in one of those cafe seats all day if I want. I'm returning to my roots. Let some Yuppie scum try to interrupt that journey. Then you'll be able to find them in the history section. Ya digg?


Finally I gave a preview to my critics over at the forum to my holiday template. I know, I was all bah-humbuggy last week... but Denise has had hers for awhile... and now KG, accidental or not, has hers... so fuck I want one too. Of course... I'm resorting to the do-it-yourself method because no one makes pre-mades for us guys... but whateva.

So I found a few naughty Santas/Elves to grace my template and this one stood out to everyone as fugly. In fact... they said she is a tranny. No, not a transmission! A TRANSVESTITE... you know... a DUDE in GIRL'S clothing! So I want to know what you think. I think it's because she's an Asian mix... and I dig me some Asian every now and then... but I could be wrong. I mean... she has Ooogle Monday worth melons. However it has been pointed out to me that with PhotoShop, anything is possible. So let me know what you think.

Even if she is a transvestite... she sure is a sweet one at that.
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 11/21/2006 01:15:00 AM :: Permalink :: 6 Bones Added to the Pile

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