Thursday, January 18, 2007

FOAD Thursday... The Blooger Edition

So I got my Diet Coke... I got my chocolate covered raisins... the calendar tells me it's Thursday... and I got that feeling... that someone out there needs to Fuck Off And Die...

It really isn't a big secret, at least to us in the business, that the lifestyle of most law enforcement, fire service, or emergency medical service personnel revolves around long hours sustained by shitty food. Some people make the serious attempt to remain healthy, but ultimately at 4:00am in the morning your options are pretty limited unless you bring food from home. Now I am all for people bringing food from home. I generally stop off at a deli and bring lunch/dinner/breakfast and my soda for the day with me during most months except for summertime. Bringing it from your actual home in tupperware containers and your own utensils is fine too. Really. One small thing though... when you leave, take everything with you. Don't bring your food and then go leaving a used metal fork where it might stab someone else. Don't leave behind your tupperware to grow goddamn penicillin and then have the nerve to COMPLAIN that someone threw that shit out. Oh... and when you complain and talk shit, I highly suggest you do it about someone who won't call you out on it in front of EVERYBODY. Yeah. Tupperware ho, FOAD.

I often wonder about the whole illegal immigrant debate while sitting in food establishments. While last night was tentative plans with The Steff for karaoke and Black & Tans... it turned into 1:00am dinner/breakfast with Christine at a twenty-four hour diner around the way. Now this diner is named after a very PEACHY state... in fact it has a gigantic neon peach on its sign. Therefore, you would expect a certain level of sweetness... maybe even a little southern hospitality. However, this of course is New York and the closest thing to anything southern are the KFC/Taco Bell stores (yes, I call them stores, because they really are not restaurants). Why does this bring the illegal immigrant debate to mind? Well, I am a fickle person while Christine really isn't. My order was clearly in English and made to an English speaking waitress. In fact, she is a citizen who was born and raised not to far from this establishment. Don't ask me why I know these things, I just do. So when I order a chicken kebab deluxe (chicken on a stick w/pita, fries, and Greek salad) and I SPECIFY "no salad, and absolutely NO Feta cheese", I expect... well... no salad and absolutely NO Feta cheese. So when the server comes back with a plate with salad and... yeah... Feta cheese contaminating my chicken, I sent it back. However... I did not send it back with server. When I told her this, she placed the plate down and said, "Well just take it off," and left. So there I am looking at this cheese... smelling this cheese... vomit in my mouth about to come out... when sure as shit the little illegal came, took my plate, and five minutes later brought me a new one that was Feta free. I kid you not. Hell, if we in America can't serve our own kind... maybe we do need the illegals. So FOAD lazy ass waitress bitch.

Do you burn candles? I do. In fact, I burn quite a few various sizes. I've always liked jar candles, tea lights, and votives. I do also burn pillars but I have a hard team keeping them from self-destructing at some point or another. Now one of the things I do with my candles is a light them using one of those Multi-Purpose Lighters from Zippo. I also have a collection of Zippo lighters (I can even read the stamp on the bottom), so having a Zippo MPL is only natural. In fact, I have one for lighting candles and one with my emergency response gear just in case. I also only buy Zippo fluid or Zippo butane. It may be a few cents more... but my lighters are worth it. So when I go to the store, and I specifically say, "Zippo butane can"... that means I want the butane made by Zippo. Simple right? So why does every single smoke shop/drug store/convenience store clerk feel the need to try and sell me mutha-fucking Ronson? Are they getting kickbacks or something? So to the Duane Reade employee (yeah, I've been avoiding CVS... better let things cool down a bit since last weeks incident) who shoved the Ronson butane fuel in the bag, which I admit I didn't double check, and then charge me for the Zippo fuel which is a dollar more... well FOAD. Not only do you not listen, but then you can't even ring the shit up right.

While pigs, waitresses and clerks are topping my FOAD list this week, we also can't forget the drivers who cut me off on the Interborough again (different drivers, same road), the newest Dunkin' Donuts addition (they have shitty retention... I wonder why?) who fucked up my FVIC, and the idiots who have to be told repeatedly how to do their jobs day, after day, after day. I mean how hard is it to go somewhere, pick someone up, and then drop them off somewhere else? FOAD idiots... just FOAD.

Finally... Peace and Love this week goes out to Blooger. Anyone notice anything different? Yeah... my blog is now on the Blooger Beta mode. This is the reason, if you read me through RSS, I probably puked all over your feed reader. Basically what they've been doing is taking resources away from the Old Blooger... meaning if you didn't switch it was taking a month and a day just to get to your dashboard. Fuckers. So how do you like me now? All beta like and shit? I haven't seen a change on the front, while the backend is still pretty much the same but with rounded buttons as opposed to the squares. I haven't fucked with the template because... well... I know it'll go wonky and break and shit. So thanks Blooger... Peace and Love you bitch whore sons of Google... Peace and Love...

Labels: FOAD

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