A Pile of Dog Bones

“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

FOAD Thursday... No One Is Immune!!!

So today is FOAD Thursday!!! Finally some much needed rage time!!!

So first things first... a huge ever loving FOAD to the people at Dunkin' Donuts. I know... I've told them to FOAD before time and time again. Your probably wondering why I don't just go to Starbucks and squelch of Ooompa Loompa's employee discount... but I just can't stand a store that will not understand what I mean by "large". The problem is... Dunkin' Donuts is having the same problem. It's really simple, I order a "large French Vanilla Ice Coffee, light with cream, and with four Splendas" every single day. The order does not change. 4 out of 5 days... that order is wrong. In fact, the ONLY day that I seriously love going there is Mondays. I know... fucked up isn't it? The first day of the week is the ONLY day I get the right coffee. It's usually the only damn thing that's right about Mondays.

I don't understand what the problem is there. Oh, and it isn't just one store. I've begun going to two different ones to see if there was any improvement... and that proved to be more hassle than it was worth. Heaven forbid I actually order a donut or muffin either... because they'll usually fuck that up to. So here is to the corporate entity known as Dunkin' Donuts... FOAD for failing to provide adequate instructions in multiple languages (English, Spanish, and Stewpid would do) so that their customers will have a pleasant experience as opposed to the torture of drinking regular iced coffee not sweetened with lowfat milk. Heh. Lowfat milk. Fuckers. Fuck off and die.

My next FOAD goes out to the United Nations. Thank you very fucking much for bringing every asshat with diplomatic plates out into the streets. In most of their countries... they drive on the other side of the street... so yeah, letting them loose in New York is a bright fucking idea. Nevermind the fact they get so lost it isn't even funny... and now with the gentrification of Harlem they're finding their way over the bridge into Queens. Is this really necessary? Can't you guys afford them drivers or something? Fuck off and die diplomatic idiot drivers... and the next one who cuts me off at the McDonald's drive thru is going to get their immunity with my brush guard shoved up their ass.

Peace and Love needs to go out to the bloggers I heard about who signed up for Project 2,996 and either: a) didn't follow through b) intertwined their own political rants or c) posted something worse. If you're going to sign up for something then you really should honor your commitment. If you're going to sign up for something then you really should read what it actually is about. If you're going to sign up for something just to be the anarchist rebel then maybe you should sign up for medical experimentation... really. So Peace and Love for those who made a commitment and failed to follow through.

Finally, we received this memo from our human resources department:
To: All Employees
From: Human Resources
RE: Alcoholic Beverages at Company Events

Due to the recent cutbacks in budgets we have determined that the two yearly company events will be compiled into one event. Additionally, to keep costs in line with the budget we will be cutting back on both security and bar staff at the event. Because of these cutbacks we have to unfortunately limit all employees and their guests to one (1) alcoholic beverage per person.

We realize that this comes as an inconvenience to a number of you who take the opportunity to become inebriated without spending your entire paycheck that week and to arbitrarily air your complaints to the executives of the company about the size of before mentioned paycheck. However we would like to keep these events going as we feel that overall it provides us with a sense of community and family.

Thank you.
Well... that was a relatively fucked up memo to send out. Far be it from me to do anything against the company... so I decided to invest in some of these for the next function...

So yes... human resource reps the world over... fuck off and die...


Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 9/13/2006 08:51:00 PM :: :: 5 Bones Added to the Pile

Pick a Bone

<< Back To The Pile