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Tuesday, July 04, 2006The Eleventh Wheel... No Thanks
So today for me was pretty damn low key. I went to work for a few hours, but then that deep sixed going to Pudding's Aunt's house for a barbecue. Then I was going to go over to The Nick's house, but then it hailed. Afterwards I was thinking about finding someone to go watch the live fireworks with... but no one was really around.
So here's what I guess pissed me off or has me irked or whatever. I've never liked being a third wheel, a fifth wheel, a seventh wheel, or as tonight would have been had I gone to the local bar after getting a phone call... the eleventh wheel. In fact I fucking hate it. In fact I fucking hate it so much... it is probably one of the driving forces that makes me work so damn much. Except right now I'm hating work so that isn't gonna help.
I really shouldn't feel this pissed off about it... but I do. Maybe it's because I'm holding in this HUGE FOAD for Thursday. Maybe it's because the phone call came at 10:45, after the ten of them had seen the fireworks. Maybe it's because I realized today how badly I want to leave my job but I'm stuck there because of financial reasons. Maybe it's because I realized how stressed out I have become and really have no way to let it go.
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Indecisive fuck today aren't I? Here's one thing I know for sure... I hate being the Eleventh Wheel.
ADDED ON: You know what's really fucking sad... even Charred, who I practically do nothing but berate, was nice enough to tell Stephanie to get a PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon) ready for me to watch the fireworks in Boston with them. Now granted... it's here in the blogosphere... but it's the thought that counts. Ya know?