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Friday, May 26, 2006Honoring Thy Tenant and Landlords, The Friday Drama Update, And X-Men 3
TGIF! As it is tradition on Friday... and so that this bitch (yes... I am a bitch folks... let's face it just because I have a penis doesn't mean I shouldn't be called what I am... especially by like-minded redheaded on hiatus fellow bitches who are bitter and better than I) always has something to blog about on Friday we will now honor my Tenant and my Landlords.
First is my tenant Laci of Long, Slow Beautiful Dance... who had a nasty little car wreck. In fact... if you want to see a picture of her mangled body click here. That's right... we're talking about Rotten.com material here folks... really nasty stuff. Did you click yet? Well what are you waiting for, a mention of the Fluffers? Hurry and go now before she takes them down.
Well... were they worth it? No? Of course not you sickos... geez... you guys are SO predictable. Hey... you... get your hand out of your pocket... no pocket pool while reading my stuff okay? If you want to play pocket pool do that here. See that... gotcha again didn't I? Boy... I'm good.
So now for those who were kind enough to take me and my FUBAR thumbnail in for the week. Yes... it still is FUBAR. Maybe my FOAD thing to BE wasn't such a good idea huh? To hell with them if they can't take a serious statement... corporate mongering spazs.
So first mention will go to my practically guaranteed Slumlord of the week... Paper Shell. Yes... 11 hits, 8 unique hits, and 0 clicks all around with only 3 days left of me being there... right, these bastards couldn't even click on me themselves. So here's what I want you guys to do. Go to Paper Shell... tell them their a Slumlord... in your words say why... all I need is one of you to do it... and they will have received more hits from me than I from them. Why do that you ask? Because I want to enlighten these idiot savants to the way things work here in the blogosphere. I will SO be over there when my rental is done... but you can go now.
My next landlord is really nice... she's Gina from One Writer's Rambles. She has a very nice place... very clean... in fact so clean I just got my paws manicured and am constantly wiping them on the mat so as not to track mud in. She did a really nice write-up for me... and although I blend with her background I've gotten quite a bit of exposure. Go see Gina and give her your love for having me over this week.
My final landlord seems to want to de-throne the Queen. It's the one and only Kentucky Gurl. If there was ever anything you needed to do... it's to feel the soft blue grass of Kentucky between your toes while staring at the ocean from Muscle Beach in Cali. I've read her for awhile... come to think of it I read an awful lot of Southernesque women... and I can honestly say that she has a good template, a great style, and a super heart... her occasional foot fetish Fridays aside. She's on track for the crown so go over and wish her well on the quest.
Now for the drama. I am a bad doggy. See, The Donkey and The Steff are continuing in their blissful relationship. She's still happy... so life is good. Life is better because The Donkey is a bit of a jealous fuck... so for those 10+ years of torturous comments from him asking, "So how's my son?" and "Is Pudding home? I left my sneakers under the bed." and "Have you seen Caesar Chavez?"... it's mofo payback time. First... there is the issue of The Hills 35th Anniversary Dinner. Legitimately, back in January, The Steff said she would go with me... to that and the Christmas part this year since she backed out last year. Well I'm holding her to it. This is killing him. He is quite upset about it... and has even offered to pay for an escort for me to go with. Tough shit. Well... in reality I know that she'll end up going with him and I'll end up taking her Madame, an Ooompa Loompa, or Zooted and Polluted... but why let him off the hook SO easily.
Then I did something I know destroyed him. See... she is atypical computer illiterate. Zooted and Polluted even had to do her MySpace page because she doesn't know an HTML tag from a price tag. So one of the things I was going to do for her was change her template on MySpace. So last night, he didn't sleep over. We were chatting over IM when she told me this... so I told her hey, once he goes, I'll come over, do your MySpace page, you can pay me back *WINK* *WINK* and life is good. He of course goes a bit ape but whatever... and we end the conversation a few minutes later.
It took me 5 tries at her password to get in. Predictable. So... I changed the page. Nothing too wacky mind you... well... okay... I did put this banner up there to drive home what she was paying up with:
I made a few other changes here and there... and it looks better but of course needs more work. Needless to say when he went online today (well yesterday really)... he lost his mind. He called me every name in the book and then called her... and she laughed her ass off at him because she thought he was kidding. Then she saw it. Laughed her ass off some more and told him how she "lovingly repaid" me last night. I think he was going to cry... and then he accused her of giving me her password. She denied it of course... which was true... and in the end I fessed up that I haxxed it.
I don't know what's better... the fact I can twist him over her like a pretzel... or the fact that she enjoys it and helps out. She's always liked guys to be over protective of her and up her ass... totally not what I would want... but she is still young... and to each their own... sick little bitch that she is.
The Nick has been having her own set of issues. She's been stressed and pissy once again. Apparently going back to school in September isn't fleshing out for her so she's having a bad week. She's been pissy with me all three nights... and tonight when the computers crashed at work I thought I was going to put her through a window.
Not that I have helped her pissy mood... because she is also planning for her friend's visit from Canada. I keep telling her I need 15 minutes in the itinerary that is jammed packed with stuff at clubs and stuff. Why? Because I need to do a Canadian. It's on my list of things to do before I die... and I want a go at it. This drives her nuts... and I'm sure is not helping with everything else she has going on right now. But hey... what are friends for?
Finally a word on X-Men 3. It was weak. I will not spoil any of the plot or outcomes... but what I will say is they need to make another to atone for this one. Also... for those of you who don't do it... you should sit through to the end of the movie. There is an add on that is a little shocking if all you do is watch the movies... but is taken from one of the comic story arcs that could be used as a basis for a fourth X-Men.
For those of you who plan on staying out of the blogosphere this weekend... have a nice long holiday one... just don't forget why you all have Monday off... and why I'll be working.