Thursday, March 30, 2006

Addictions

I have read on numerous blogs that this is an addictive hobby. I stress the word hobby because this is by far only that. While the media portrays bloggers as money making freedom fighters, I have learned first hand that this is far from true. After continuing to peruse blogs I have come to the conclusion that there are three types of blogger.

There is the "mommy blogger" who dedicates her life to wiping the snot off the child's nose and writing all about it in a paisely formatted page. Equal to these mommies are the "daddy" bloggers who show us that daddies have become mommies with an added appendage. To me, there is nothing like a traditional father taking his belt off and whipping his child bloody... just like my old man used to do to us. Instead these blogs feed us lines of parenting woes and meandering thoughts on what it is like to be a child. To these people I wish to alert you to the fact that you were once a child. Of course there are those "mommies" and "daddies" who's "child" happens not to be a homo sapien. To these people I wish to recommend reading Stephen King's Cujo and then tell me how cute you think Fluffy really is.

There is the "bitch" blogger who dedicates her life to telling the world how much of a bitch she really is. I believe this is unique, as only here can we find someone promoting themselves as a person no one in their right mind would want to be with. They are proud of their anti-social behavior and wave it to what they consider the world with posts full of curses or words they don't know the meaning of amidst a graphical interface with cartoon women giving what I have come to know as the universal EMS sign for peace and love. First, go get your own universal sign of peace and love, stop using ours you unsightly wenches. Then go and leave that darkened bedroom you exist in and try walking down the street using the same vocabulary and see where it will get you. In truth, were they truly bitches worthy of the title, they would be in jail and would be considered as someone else's property. I really haven't seen any "bastard" blogs which is surprising, or maybe not considering the male sex is usually much more grounded in reality than our female counterparts.

The final type of blogger is the "crazy" blogger. That includes the silly fool who once wrote here about his PTSD and depression. Well you know what? I would be depressed as shit too if my wife left me to become a lesbian like his did. That would depress me so much, that yes, I might very well just end it all. Yet he didn't. So therefore it couldn't have depressed him that much. Yet everyone else has a blog where they are "depressed" or "schizophrenic" or "multiple personalities". The best are the ones who write how they don't take their medications. If you are in New York and diagnosed with such a disorder that means that as per NYSDOH Part 800 section 75 which is the Mental Hygiene Act of 1986 an instant mental health warrant is issued and it is up to EMS to bring you in for your meds. Personally those are my favorite jobs, cracking the nuts. Obviously there needs to be more moderation and stricter guidelines on the crazies in the world, and these blogs are just evidence of it.

Someone made mention that this site is dying because I am not the original author. Well if you don't want to read what I want to write then that's absolutely fine. I will find people who do, or let this place shrivel up and die in the void of cyberspace.
Posted by Anonymous :: 3/30/2006 01:07:00 AM :: Permalink :: 0 Bones Added to the Pile

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