A Pile of Dog Bones

“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

The Izzy Debacle

I’m really not in a writing mood. Having a few of those days where everything is just blah, and I really don’t want to be doing anything. Work especially… which has been hellish.

I’m sure your wondering why… I know I would. Well… I guess it started Monday… but really started Sunday, although now in hindsight it started Friday. Confused yet? Right… now you know why I feel so blah.

Let’s start with Monday. Monday I get an e-mail from Izzy. Basically, the e-mail was telling me I’m an idiot, she hates me for being an idiot, and now she’s not happy with the status of our relationship. Needless to say, that was the left hook. Then a little later on she sends me another e-mail… one of her cryptic messages about shoes and clouds and all this other stuff.

So why the sudden turn of events you ask? Well apparently the 45 minute phone conversation we had Sunday night wasn’t to her satisfaction. She felt deprived for some reason, and accused me of falling asleep on the phone with her. Had I fallen asleep, then I assure you I know for a fact I would not have even remembered saying goodnight to her… which in fact I did… evidence I did not fall asleep on her while on the phone.

Then there was this whole tirade about effort, and how she was putting effort into calling me and having a conversation while I apparently did not for the entire weekend. Mmmm… well Friday night I did call her, and we spoke for about an hour. Then Saturday night, she had these plans with her friends, a “Girl’s Night Out” sorta thing. It was fine by me… I do the same thing with some guys from the Hills and from work on occasion so I can understand needing a night out. I had my own thing going with my wolves, and then my brother needed a late night pick-up from Newark Airport after he missed his flight into JFK which ruled my father out from picking him up… he doesn’t do Jersey… so no big deal right? Well she did call me twice, and I did call her back while she was out and I was enroute to Jersey… and we did talk briefly over the roar of the jukebox and the clang of glasses.

Sunday she was supposed to be over a friend’s house for the BIG GAME and my brother as usual had his normal soiree which I was roped into helping him with. We did have a brief conversation while I was on my way to the deli over the phone which she did call me for. And she did call Sunday night, and I did have to switch phones mid conversation because as usual I didn’t charge my cell phone the night before, and to be honest, I really didn’t have a lot to say because I really didn’t do anything talkable over the weekend. Fall asleep… no… sorry…

So now I read this e-mail… and I am HEATED… like if I was the Human Torch the world would have been ablaze. Then I read this other e-mail from her about shoes dropping. Now I’m even MORE HEATED… we had talked about how we were both holding our breath waiting for the proverbial “other shoe” to drop. So this was the proverbial other shoe? A damn phone conversation that instead of lasting 90 minutes lasted only 45? WTF???

So… of course she’s online. So I send her an IM… afterall I apparently never initiate the contact here. And I’m cordial and say, “Hey got your e-mails.” She answers with something like “Did you like?” and then… yeah… that was when the mushroom cloud appeared over Brooklyn for all of those who saw it and were left wondering.

So we blasted each other a bit… and then things kind of turned. She started apologizing, but I wasn’t hearing it. To be honest I kept going and ripping and shredding and the world was ablaze in my eyes.

The reason I am this way is simple, my ex-wife used to rip into me all the time about the pettiest things. A great example was a disasterous trip I made to Home Depot when we first got the house. I brought home red flat paint. She lost her mind. She cursed me up and down calling me stupid because I should have gotten glossy. Needless to say, after five minutes, the paint can went flying from my hand… and that was why we really had to rip the carpet up from the hallway.

Stuff like that happened every single day. I’m a simple person. There was a roof over her head. There was food on the table. The kids had clothes. Why bust my chops over these little petty things? Right. I know. To her they weren’t petty things and I should respect that. So I swore while the divorce was going on, I would never get into the same situation again where someone placed such value on pettiness as opposed to my “don’t sweat the small stuff” personality.

Here I am. In with the same problem I had before, with someone I really liked. So I start asking around a little. Hell, normally I’m the one giving advice, and here I am looking for it. So The Nick told me I should kick her to the curb. Barista told me I should have never gotten involved with someone online. One of the guys in West Virginia who I spent time with in Texas during Rita told me he would send up his Hillbilly Ho’s to teach her a lesson.

Then Izzy sends me a third e-mail that I read Tuesday. This one basically translated the second e-mail. In fact, the second e-mail was more of an apology. How the hell should I know what a Jimmy Choo shoe looks like??? I’m far from a fashion specialist. So now what do I do? I’m still mad… and she’s sorry. So in my heart… I forgive her.

My head is elsewhere. Everyone maintains she is bad news and I need to stay away. Everyone except… The Steff. Yes, The Steff actually backed her. She said that it was probably a mistake she made and her apologizing is a huge sign of it, and I should give her another chance. Now, upon hearing this, The Nick and Barista both swear up and down that the ONLY reason The Steff is saying this is because a) She wants to meet Izzy to kick the crap out of her and b) In The Steff’s mind she has done the same thing… and would want forgiveness too. Mel eventually got in on the action and told me that I should forgive her, but just be her friend.

So I still have this dilemma. What to do about Izzy? I really enjoy spending time with her, but is this something I can so easily overlook? Someone wrote on a blog somewhere that no one individual can truly change another. If that’s the case then I’m throwing in the towel… not just on Izzy… but the world!!! I’m more of a Knight Rider believer… yes, one man can make a difference. It takes a lot more than a few kisses and a few dates… and is that something I should be willing to invest in?

Here’s what I have decided. I’m going to run a poll on this blog until Monday. It's going to be on the right hand side right in the links area. This is where you’ll get to choose who’s advice I should follow (minus Junior’s from W. Virginia because I don’t want to resort to violence… or have to take the Ho’s out drinking… imagine what that bill would be considering what we drank in Texas???).

So do me a favor… take a moment… and help me figure out what to do here... and remember... if I CAN screw it up... I usually do... oh... and Jessica... don't try voting more than once... I'll know... Thanks.
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 2/08/2006 09:31:00 PM :: :: 2 Bones Added to the Pile

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