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Tuesday, February 21, 2006BEWARE OF THE DOG
Guess which one I’m choosing on this post fucker? Now find out why my bite is worse than my bark.
I can never understand how people can schedule certain things on their blogs. I can understand contest day, self-portrait day, favorite pet day, and all the other days that people can imagine in their wildest and most benevolent days. However, there is one day I could never understand anyone pre-scheduling.
Rant day. How in the bloody hell do you schedule a rant day. Do they divine with tea leaves to decide that every damn Sunday is going to be a rant day? Do they roll a set of decision dice to ascertain from the 1d6 gods of chance what day it should be? Do they set their alarm clock with a metal wire attaching it to their big toe the night before every Wednesday so when the clock goes off they get a shock enough to give them some atrial fibrillation and put them in a pissy mood?
Oh, and what happens when it isn’t “Rant Day”? So do you mean to tell me that if it isn’t rant day then you can’t write about how pissed off you are and instead are required to write about how the kitty looked so damn cute in the outfit you torturously put on him and probably emotionally scarred him for life with? Are you supposed to be all smiles and smootchy bootchies while the world crumbles around you? So its phony ass people like that who I want to take my boot… turn it sideways… and send it right up their asses.
On the topic of phony people… everyone remembers how pissed off I was about poor little Humpty-Lumpty… the girl with the plastic surgery blog who found all these “comments about me on other people’s personal blogs” and was upset about it (mainly because I wasn't quoted). Well guess what… it’s more than her tits that are plastic… ‘cause she’s a phony fuck just like my old man. See… all those comments… came from one place… yes… that’s right… one blog… in fact to be correct, a comment section of one blog. Can you guess the blog? That’s right… the shit stomping ground of the Bitches ‘O’ Blogs…the Queens of PHP... the Dishes of Disasters... I Talk 2 Much.
Now… while I realize they may not be the nicest people… and I admit they can be quite juvenile… hypocritical… kindergartenish… and downright rude… they can also be enlightening… creative… dramatic… but most importantly HONEST. Yes… at least the bitches are honest. So needless to say… a little war went on between the Bitches and the Humpty. Of course one might revel in this and invest in popcorn expecting a long haul… but it turns out Humpty is worse than the little green plastic army men… and she deleted her blog. This dumb ass let herself get run out of the blogosphere by some sniveling foul mouthed little girls… who by the way suddenly have added some dude Charred to their site as a reviewer.
Now if there was ever a day for IT2M to be burned in place… it was with them adding this guy. Not that I have anything against him… other than he is a FLAMING SMOKEATER!!! Oh… right… he’s mainly a Woodlands guy… who btw are probably the nicest smokeater’s out there… you know… bulldozing the bush and making those foundation saves… right… am I feeling it… oh hell no!!! So now that IT2M has been corrupted with the reviewing presence of cock… yeah their stock value just dropped out… right after exposing Humpty for a fake plastic bitch and replacing her site with a nice mockery of their own… or one of their friends.
Friends… that’s a good one… someone should re-define the word or send idiots to a re-education camp on the subject. Do I sound bitter? No… not really… but you know… work has really sucked the last 24 hours… I mean REALLY sucked. You would think a friend might be able to understand… but no… I get shit for crap that’s out of my control. And as with every new friend… the same argument ALWAYS comes up… I’m a workaholic… I’m pretty sure I admitted that somewhere at the beginning of this blog… it was on my Match.com profile in bold… it is the working Modus Operandi of all First Responders I know… and the people who become their friends always wonder why they “didn’t make the priority list”. Don’t worry… when you stop breathing… we’ll come running… unless its after June 1… ‘cause first hurricane to hit the shores I am SO out of the North Eastern hell and into the promised land of the south.
You know… not for nothing maybe there is something behind this scheduling a rant day. Although my problems are far from being solved I do feel a tad bit better… but then again… if that were true and with my hectic schedule… every mofo day would have to be a scheduled as a rant day.