A Pile of Dog Bones

“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

It Was A Good Day

So… today was the first work day of the new year. Personally… I’m hoping that the rest of the year starts off the way today did… and ended the way today did. The middle leaves a bit to be desired still… but I can still deal with it.

So I woke up this morning and jumped in the shower. While scrub a dub dubbing one of the sirens on my phone went off. I had to give The Steff her wake-up call. Normally I’m at Dunkin’ Donuts when I have to call her, but for some reason she had to get up earlier than normal for her orientation at the new job today. So I called her, rolled her out of bed, and set her in motion... which upon hearing her voice set me in motion as well knowing I did have an agenda to keep.

I came out of the bathroom to find my mother supplying DJ with his second helping of French Toast. My mother and Pudding have come to the conclusion that he plays them against each other. When he’s home, the line is "Grandma makes me French toast," and when he comes over here the line suddenly becomes "Mommy makes me waffles." Smart kid. The fact he’s four makes it even better. So after breakfast into the truck we go… and 45 minutes later he’s using the line on his mother hoping for second dibs. I don’t know if the Pudding gave in… but my money would say she did.

So then off to work I went. Once there, I sat down at the board where the dispatcher is on vacation this week, and proceeded to dole out the day’s work. We had a few STATs pop, but nothing too complicated… and I only lost my mind once with a BLS truck that was so horribly lost, they couldn’t read the street signs. 3:00pm came, and off the board I rolled. Within half an hour we entered a backlog, and I wondered why I even bothered to get up in the first place. But, truth be told, I was shot… and I let the dispatchers on manage it with some direction.

Surprisingly, Nikki from Match sent me an IM. She had sent me a few e-mails… and I did reply to one of them. She started off relatively… well… pissed off. Now, keep in mind… I had pretty much written her off after the fudging conversation. So she’s all ticked… and I’m just like ok… whatever… Happy New Year. She eithers warms up or decides I’m not going to feed the frenzy, and so we chatted for about an hour. The last few minutes were kinda odd… talking about different things… things you wouldn’t necessarily talk about with someone you haven’t even met yet. So… finally, I told her my day was done, and I needed to get my brother at the airport.

So… the boards were cool, my chatting was done, and I left work. I called my brother on the way over, who told me not to bother because he picked up another shift (he works there) and I would need to get him in the morning instead.

With nothing else to do, I called The Steff and she had me pick up some coffee and come over (she had just painted her toenails so she didn’t want to go out). So we sat and talked in her kitchen. We talked about a bunch of stuff… primarily Officer Crumb and the New Guy. She’s taken down all the pictures of Officer Crumb… well, ok… I found two hidden amongst them. But she was a trooper, and put them in the drawer. She then admitted she was having trouble sleeping… and he was still on her mind. I was as supportive as possible… and tried my best to explain to her that time heals all wounds... of course I didn't say it like that… but I tried. I wasn’t on my game tonight… probably because in a way I was being selfish, and just enjoying her company… and having someone to talk to.

Yet… after two hours, I left. She didn’t ask me to leave or anything… but I just felt that our time was up… and so I loaned her the DVD of The Notebook and came here… to my futon. Now even though I sit here looking at it… and I hate it… and I hate living this way… inside I’m okay. I started the day… and ended the day… talking to someone who I can talk to if I want. Although I didn’t… that option was there… and having it there means more than most people realize.

But in all honesty… only here do I get to unload… only here can I say that while time heals all wounds I’m still hurting from my fight with Christine… and that at night I lay awake… thinking of things I might try to say or do to resolve the issues between us… to resolve Louis.

So that is why I can start and end all days like this. At least I started it off with a smile… because Lord knows I smile everytime I talk to The Steff. I end it off by unloading… and taking the stress out of being me.

Yeah… if I can do this everyday… it’ll be a very good year indeed.
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 1/03/2006 10:00:00 PM :: :: 0 Bones Added to the Pile

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