Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Top Ten Things NOT To Do In 2006

Top Ten Things NOT To Do In 2006

10) I will NOT crash an ambulance- …Every year I make this resolution… and every year I never seem to keep it. Maybe this year will be different.

9) I will NOT become depressed-… Right… I have about as much control over that as I do over the weather… but hey… it’s a goal.

8) I will NOT become an alcoholic-… Sons of alcoholics have a 90% chance of becoming alcoholics themselves… so I’m limiting my drinking to the holidays and special occasions… ok and maybe one or two nights out.

7) I will NOT lose the mortgage money playing poker-… I will win it… hehehehe.

6) I will NOT be consumed by the corporate giant Match.com-… no matter how bad it becomes… nor how desperate I am… I will not send more than 5 winks a day… otherwise I’ll be on there all day hitting that damn refresh button.

5) I will NOT dance the happy dance when Hurricane Season starts June 1-… I won’t do any dancing… however I will be throwing a party with a keg the night before as I pack my bag and begin Hurricane watch 2006.

4) I will NOT quit my job- … as stressful as it may be… and as insane as it may get… I have to remember I have responsibilities and a family… and I MUST provide for them.

3) I will NOT fail in New Years Resolutions 3 or 4- … in case you missed it… read it here.

2) I will NOT bring any violence home-… contrary to popular belief… I’m really not a violent person… I can become very very very angry though… and anger management was a major goal for me back in 1999… and so far I’m six years without a furious rampage at home… four years out of the home (that therapist ya know…)… so let’s keep it rolling.

1) I will NOT give away another piece of my heart-… How much more is there to give away anyway? If it was in quarters, well I’m done already… Christine has a piece… Pudding has a piece… The Steff has a piece… and of course Yum has a piece… so what’s left??? Maybe it’s divided into eighths…

So those are the things I will NOT be doing in 2006... with my luck I'll end up doing them all and then some (except for the dancing... I don't dance).
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 12/27/2005 06:34:00 PM :: Permalink :: 1 Bones Added to the Pile

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