A Pile of Dog Bones

“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Hey Jack Frost... Just Bring It Bitch!!!

So New York finally got hit with freezing temperatures. Of course I spent most of the night trucking around and doing drive-bys and cab rides. Originally I planned on going straight to bed, seeing as how the only thing I could say about it is reiterate my 3 cardinal rules of EMS life:
  1. Just because you have the ability to have children doesn't mean you should
  2. Consuming copious amounts of alcohol while love sick will not produce the permanent results desired
  3. When New Yorkers need a taxi... they call 9-1-1
However, when I got home tonight I found a box. Now this wasn't just any box mind you... this box was a plain brown box absent of any and all markings that would indicate any major online retailer I shop at. The more curious thing was the Priority Mail tape wrapped around it... and I wondered what could be such a priority. I saw the return address... and my heart pounded. I KNEW it was coming... but didn't know WHAT it was.

So I unwrapped it... reveled in its glory which I will share momentarily... but first... a sonnet of the highest order. Cue the Austrian Boys Choir please...
Your blog is orange
This afghan is too
If you hide it in the closet
I will equalise you

You say you love orange
I don't love it ~Ewww~
But I made this ugly thing
Because I love you!

-Miss Ann
Beautiful, isn't it? So now without further adieu I give you my very own, hand crafted, one of a kind, official, ORANGE, APODB afghan:

This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME!!!!! Here's a closer look at the stitching design which I have no clue what it's called but I'm sure it has a name and don't get all silly and shit because it looks brown because I ASSURE you it is in fact orange but the fucking flash wouldn't go off this close and when you zoom it doesn't come out as good so I will now end this run-on sentence from hell with a close-up photo of the awesome stitch work:

So now I have my very own, hand made, unique, official, ORANGE, APODB afghan!!!!! To top it all off... I got a SONNET!!!!! Are you jealous? Yeah, you fucking should be. So Miss Ann, I thank you very very very much... and I assure you it will go absolutely no where near the closet!!!!! Oh, and I so would have called when I first opened it... but I tend to think calling at 5:00am might have seen me equalised just for kicks... so I'll be calling this weekend sometime... you so rawk!!!!!!!
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 12/09/2006 04:56:00 AM :: :: 17 Bones Added to the Pile

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