A Pile of Dog Bones

“In each of us two natures are at war… the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, but one of them must conquer. In our own hands lies the power to choose. What we want most to be we are.” – Dr. Henry Jekyll

Monday, June 05, 2006

06.06.06 - Number of the Dog

Today is the sixth day, of the sixth month, of the sixth year. It has been "prophesized" that the numbers 6-6-6 mark that of the Devil or the so called Anti-Christ who will bring about the end of the world. So on this date, to those who consider themselves on "missions from the Lord", he is supposed to be born. A word of warning to pregnant mothers... watch out for nuns, priests, and bible beating zealots standing at the doors of the maternity wards.

So then tonight I was on the phone with The Steff and we were talking about something obliviously retarded like we always do... and somehow "nicknames" came into the subject. I call her Paper... I know... sounds stupid... but there is a long story behind it with a simple explanation... I can read her like one. Then we were talking about Zooted & Polluted, and the Ooompa Loompas.

Then she has this moment of wisdom and says to me, "Ya know... Dog spelled backwards is goD." My favorite English Doctorate bound blondey locks had a revelation! Where does she get this shit from? Oh right... college... a school of "higher" learning. So after a few more minutes of idle chit-chat we conclude Monday night's English language lesson and I start to thinking... which is always a dangerous thing.

Maybe... just maybe... I am the anti-christ? Maybe I am the son of Cool Hand Luke himself... and his roomie Joshua is really a long lost cousin! Wow... but how would I know? I don't see any numbers on me anywhere... but what if it doesn't show up until tomorrow under the light of the full moon?

So I did the next best thing and the ONLY thing any self-respecting evil suspecting blogger would do... I did a meme test. To test this theory... I did a test at a place where everyone from the forums is running to these days... and here's what I discovered:
You Are 100% Evil

You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you!
Surprised? I'm not... not since I answered the questions honestly and didn't fudge at all. So just to make sure... I took another test to see how bad I really am...

How evil are you?

Now I know I have always had a dark side. I am a strong believer in Yin-Yang theories and the carnal animal within each of us. Well that's 2 for 2 meme's that agree I am Purely 100% Evil which tosses Yang out of my Yin. So was The Steff onto something? Am I going to miraculously transform into Hellspawn at midnight? Well shit... I better get ready.

So I opened up my template and went to a BTOD layout again. I was kinda feeling it... not totally though... so then I decided to declare that 6-6-6 is now the number of the doG. I then declared it my holiday as any good self preserving son of Satan would. In addition I then decided I will use all my credits if need be to Battle any Christian Blog on a Mission from the Lord. Then I found out I have my own church... and it's right here in NYC! Now if that isn't cool, I have my own cheerleading squad of hot little goth girls! Unfortunately... they're in Austin, Texas. But really, no big deal... once I bring about the apocalypse and wipe out the world... well I can have as much oil for gas as I want and I can just drive down there and pick them up!

That's when I realized something. If I bring about the Apocalypse... well then everyone will be dead. That makes my career choice as an EMT a poor one. Damn. This son of Satan thing was sounding pretty cool. So what do I do now?

Well I guess I won't be bringing the Apocalypse... I won't be having my own cheerleading squad of little freaky goths... and I don't have my own church. It is a little disappointing... especially the cheerleader part... but I can get over it real quick. Nothing like sacrificing a chicken on a rotisserie spit with a side of mashed potatoes and corn to take the sting out of losing out on that ego booster.

On the bright side... I can still smack the crap out of the religous zealots right? Oh hell yeah!!!

So while I am off being evil... go visit this angel... she is divine in more way than one.
Posted by New York City's Watchdog :: 6/05/2006 11:00:00 PM :: :: 5 Bones Added to the Pile

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